Anonymous
Post 04/13/2018 10:27     Subject: Re:How to handle arrest but not convicted record
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I second the opinion to be truthful if asked. Prepare and practice the shortest, most direct explanation that you can give both verbally and in writing. Be sure to sit up straight and look them right in the eye when you speak about it. Start off by saying "I am a survivor of domestic violence." If delivered well, you will leave them impressed by your tact, character, and courage.

Maybe something like this...

"I am a survivor of domestic violence. Untangling myself from that abusive relationship was challenging but I did it. Unfortunately, in the course of a particularly difficult exchange where I was forced to defend myself, the police were called and I was arrested. I didn't have the resources at the time to contest the charge and chose to plead no contest and pay a fine in order to put the experience behind me as soon as possible. Now that my personal and financial life is on stable footing, I am currently in the process of getting it [maybe avoid the word conviction, just say "it"] expunged from my record. It will soon be off of my record completely and it has no bearing on my ability to do this job."

Best wishes to you, OP!

I am not the OP but thank you for taking the time to write this for her. Even if she doesn't use this, some silent reader might some day.

This is OP. Yes, thank you for putting that.
I did leave after the first time it got physical, as in he slammed my head hard enough into the wall to give me a concussion. However, prior to that, it was just pushing/shoving. I am about 5' even, and he is 5'10" so there was a size disparity. Looking back on it, I don't know how I got myself into that but I am moving forward for the better.

To the pp former prosecutor - Yup, that's exactly what my public defender told me. At the time, it was only the pushing/shoving. I always think I could had it much worse and that I am grateful to have had the strength to leave when I did, even if it was later than it should have been.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2018 10:04     Subject: How to handle arrest but not convicted record
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I second the opinion to be truthful if asked. Prepare and practice the shortest, most direct explanation that you can give both verbally and in writing. Be sure to sit up straight and look them right in the eye when you speak about it. Start off by saying "I am a survivor of domestic violence." If delivered well, you will leave them impressed by your tact, character, and courage.

Maybe something like this...

"I am a survivor of domestic violence. Untangling myself from that abusive relationship was challenging but I did it. Unfortunately, in the course of a particularly difficult exchange where I was forced to defend myself, the police were called and I was arrested. I didn't have the resources at the time to contest the charge and chose to plead no contest and pay a fine in order to put the experience behind me as soon as possible. Now that my personal and financial life is on stable footing, I am currently in the process of getting it [maybe avoid the word conviction, just say "it"] expunged from my record. It will soon be off of my record completely and it has no bearing on my ability to do this job."

Best wishes to you, OP!


I wouldn't say that you are a survivor of domestic violence if your boyfriend never used physical force against you. It sounds like from what OP said that he was verbally and emotionally abusive, but not that he hit her. It's not clear from her description whether her actions would count as self-defense. I would say that she was in an "abusive relationship," which is accurate.


Np... DV is not just physical abuse but emotional and verbal abuse as well.

Former DV prosecutor. Other than actual threats to harm the victim or stalking, emotional and verbal abuse are not prosecuted as domestic violence crimes. And someone being emotionally or verbally abusive does not mean that hitting that person qualifies as self-defense. Since we're talking an arrest record/the criminal justice system, I think OP should be precise and not suggest that she was the victim of physical violence if she wasn't.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2018 08:22     Subject: Re:How to handle arrest but not convicted record
I deal with hiring.

If you were arrested and it was not expunged and they ask, were you arrested you say, "yes, but I am having it expunged". The person doing the back ground check will ask for paperwork showing you are in the process of having it expunged.

Depending on the security clearance, they may not care about the arrest. It depends, we hire people arrested for possession or open container all the time.

If the hiring official is strict they may say, we can't approve your background check until it is expunged.

After it is expunged, when you are asked "have you ever been arrested?" you can say "no."
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2018 08:15     Subject: Re:How to handle arrest but not convicted record
Anonymous wrote:I second the opinion to be truthful if asked. Prepare and practice the shortest, most direct explanation that you can give both verbally and in writing. Be sure to sit up straight and look them right in the eye when you speak about it. Start off by saying "I am a survivor of domestic violence." If delivered well, you will leave them impressed by your tact, character, and courage.

Maybe something like this...

"I am a survivor of domestic violence. Untangling myself from that abusive relationship was challenging but I did it. Unfortunately, in the course of a particularly difficult exchange where I was forced to defend myself, the police were called and I was arrested. I didn't have the resources at the time to contest the charge and chose to plead no contest and pay a fine in order to put the experience behind me as soon as possible. Now that my personal and financial life is on stable footing, I am currently in the process of getting it [maybe avoid the word conviction, just say "it"] expunged from my record. It will soon be off of my record completely and it has no bearing on my ability to do this job."

Best wishes to you, OP!

I am not the OP but thank you for taking the time to write this for her. Even if she doesn't use this, some silent reader might some day.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2018 17:21     Subject: How to handle arrest but not convicted record
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I second the opinion to be truthful if asked. Prepare and practice the shortest, most direct explanation that you can give both verbally and in writing. Be sure to sit up straight and look them right in the eye when you speak about it. Start off by saying "I am a survivor of domestic violence." If delivered well, you will leave them impressed by your tact, character, and courage.

Maybe something like this...

"I am a survivor of domestic violence. Untangling myself from that abusive relationship was challenging but I did it. Unfortunately, in the course of a particularly difficult exchange where I was forced to defend myself, the police were called and I was arrested. I didn't have the resources at the time to contest the charge and chose to plead no contest and pay a fine in order to put the experience behind me as soon as possible. Now that my personal and financial life is on stable footing, I am currently in the process of getting it [maybe avoid the word conviction, just say "it"] expunged from my record. It will soon be off of my record completely and it has no bearing on my ability to do this job."

Best wishes to you, OP!


I wouldn't say that you are a survivor of domestic violence if your boyfriend never used physical force against you. It sounds like from what OP said that he was verbally and emotionally abusive, but not that he hit her. It's not clear from her description whether her actions would count as self-defense. I would say that she was in an "abusive relationship," which is accurate.


Np... DV is not just physical abuse but emotional and verbal abuse as well.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2018 15:32     Subject: How to handle arrest but not convicted record
Anonymous wrote:I second the opinion to be truthful if asked. Prepare and practice the shortest, most direct explanation that you can give both verbally and in writing. Be sure to sit up straight and look them right in the eye when you speak about it. Start off by saying "I am a survivor of domestic violence." If delivered well, you will leave them impressed by your tact, character, and courage.

Maybe something like this...

"I am a survivor of domestic violence. Untangling myself from that abusive relationship was challenging but I did it. Unfortunately, in the course of a particularly difficult exchange where I was forced to defend myself, the police were called and I was arrested. I didn't have the resources at the time to contest the charge and chose to plead no contest and pay a fine in order to put the experience behind me as soon as possible. Now that my personal and financial life is on stable footing, I am currently in the process of getting it [maybe avoid the word conviction, just say "it"] expunged from my record. It will soon be off of my record completely and it has no bearing on my ability to do this job."

Best wishes to you, OP!


I wouldn't say that you are a survivor of domestic violence if your boyfriend never used physical force against you. It sounds like from what OP said that he was verbally and emotionally abusive, but not that he hit her. It's not clear from her description whether her actions would count as self-defense. I would say that she was in an "abusive relationship," which is accurate.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2018 14:40     Subject: Re:How to handle arrest but not convicted record
Anonymous wrote:I second the opinion to be truthful if asked. Prepare and practice the shortest, most direct explanation that you can give both verbally and in writing. Be sure to sit up straight and look them right in the eye when you speak about it. Start off by saying "I am a survivor of domestic violence." If delivered well, you will leave them impressed by your tact, character, and courage.

Maybe something like this...

"I am a survivor of domestic violence. Untangling myself from that abusive relationship was challenging but I did it. Unfortunately, in the course of a particularly difficult exchange where I was forced to defend myself, the police were called and I was arrested. I didn't have the resources at the time to contest the charge and chose to plead no contest and pay a fine in order to put the experience behind me as soon as possible. Now that my personal and financial life is on stable footing, I am currently in the process of getting it [maybe avoid the word conviction, just say "it"] expunged from my record. It will soon be off of my record completely and it has no bearing on my ability to do this job."

Best wishes to you, OP!


"I am a survivor of domestic violence" is pretty rich when you consider that OP is the one who attacked her ex.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2018 10:33     Subject: Re:How to handle arrest but not convicted record
Was your case DWP'd (dismissed without process) or dismissed after you pled no contest? Because the former means it never went anywhere and was practically a police mistake. The latter is more serious. Both will get you an FBI record though--which is completely unfair. And no expungement will EVER take an arrest off the FBI roster unless you did diversion (a process at the time of plea that is only for a first time offender on a non-violent crime).
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2018 09:48     Subject: How to handle arrest but not convicted record
When asked, provide accurate and honest answers. There's no other way.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2018 09:43     Subject: How to handle arrest but not convicted record
Anonymous wrote:Dude. Pleading no contest is like a conviction isn't it? You didn't get convicted at trial because you admitted ahead of time you were guilty and just took your fine.


This. I'm sorry if you received bad legal advice at the time, but no contest is treated as a guilty verdict. Work on getting it expunged.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2018 09:38     Subject: Re:How to handle arrest but not convicted record
I second the opinion to be truthful if asked. Prepare and practice the shortest, most direct explanation that you can give both verbally and in writing. Be sure to sit up straight and look them right in the eye when you speak about it. Start off by saying "I am a survivor of domestic violence." If delivered well, you will leave them impressed by your tact, character, and courage.

Maybe something like this...

"I am a survivor of domestic violence. Untangling myself from that abusive relationship was challenging but I did it. Unfortunately, in the course of a particularly difficult exchange where I was forced to defend myself, the police were called and I was arrested. I didn't have the resources at the time to contest the charge and chose to plead no contest and pay a fine in order to put the experience behind me as soon as possible. Now that my personal and financial life is on stable footing, I am currently in the process of getting it [maybe avoid the word conviction, just say "it"] expunged from my record. It will soon be off of my record completely and it has no bearing on my ability to do this job."

Best wishes to you, OP!
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2018 07:51     Subject: How to handle arrest but not convicted record
Dude. Pleading no contest is like a conviction isn't it? You didn't get convicted at trial because you admitted ahead of time you were guilty and just took your fine.