In all honesty OP, beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.

The term itself is just so subjective.

Life is much too short to base your self-esteem on the opinions of those around you.

As long as YOU see yourself in a good light, then that is perfect.

You really only need to shine for yourself in life.
No one else is as important as you are.

Anonymous wrote:Last week the guy behind me offered to pay for all my groceries, ~$200 +. Strange. I declined. I think it was because I was wearing thigh high boots and a short dress.

This use to happen more when I was younger and lived in NYC, I rarely had to pay for anything going out at night. Rarely had to pay for drinks or food. Some guy, who I didn’t know, would pick up the tab. Cab drivers would offer too, except I paid them.

But I rarely get verbal compliments on my looks.

but plenty of non-verbal compliments

Last week the guy behind me offered to pay for all my groceries, ~$200 +. Strange. I declined. I think it was because I was wearing thigh high boots and a short dress.

This use to happen more when I was younger and lived in NYC, I rarely had to pay for anything going out at night. Rarely had to pay for drinks or food. Some guy, who I didn’t know, would pick up the tab. Cab drivers would offer too, except I paid them.

But I rarely get verbal compliments on my looks.

I never get compliments, even from my DH.

The reality is people only WANT to get compliments from people THEY find attractive. And both men and women can be cruel to those they deem unworthy of addressing them. As a result, I'd say most unattractive to average looking people see complimenting as a risky decision for their ego/self worth.

Anonymous wrote:Even when I put in effort. The comments are usual non specific “ you look nice”
Or “ wow look at you”

That’s all.

Am I ugly?

Could be.
If someone's pretty someone's gotta be ugly, right?

I don't think I give many compliments because the people in my circle are very attractive and IMO they always look good. So it seems weird if every time I see them I tell them how good they look. They know they look good. It's the norm & commenting is unnecessary. They look good in business attire, gym clothes, pj's... all the time. Sometimes it comes up but not every time they look good.

Own it for yourself OP and let go of the need for validation. If you're unsure if something looks good, like if you're trying some new trend, it's OK to ask. People have busy lives and we're beyond whatever age where clothes/looks/hairstyles dominated the conversation.

You give a compliment and someone gets offended. You look at the women more than once and you get posted on someone else's social media and yelled at virtually.
You give up your seat for a pregnant lady and she refuses to sit just to make a statement that she's not disabled, just pregnant. Whatever you try to do, someone is always offended.
You get a nice compliment, "You look nice." Still, it's not good enough, not proper, or not understood.

Was being hyperbolic

But the truth is the risk is too high.. Not worth mentioning appearance in any way

Anonymous wrote:You're living in 2018 where a compliment on your appearance can get a man fired

#metoo

This simply isn’t true. To get fired, a woman or women would have to tell HR multiple times and HR would put a case together. I’ve yet to ever hear of this happening.

You're living in 2018 where a compliment on your appearance can get a man fired

#metoo

I used to get a compliment every week, and people flirted with me in grocery stores/the mall... then a few years ago I gained a lot of weight from depression and now no one wants to even make eye contact with me. life's a b!tch.

Anonymous wrote:yes, you are probably on the ugly side of of the spectrum because even average people get the occasional compliment. but so are many of US

This made me laugh out loud!