Anonymous
04/09/2018 13:30
Subject: Expose details of the affair to the other woman’s (AP) husband?
You do know that this forum is full of cheaters, right? Like a lot of them. Of course they are going to tell you not to. That's like 2/3rds of this forums worst nightmare.
Just call. I, for one, would appreciate it if my wife was cheating.
Just call. I, for one, would appreciate it if my wife was cheating.
Anonymous
04/09/2018 13:10
Subject: Re:Expose details of the affair to the other woman’s (AP) husband?
Your post says so many things about you.
Clearly you are not in a forgiving state and need counseling - individual and marriage.
You blame the OW. You squarely put it at her feet - your language (she tried to kiss him, she tried to get him to go out, her husband doesn't know the details). You clearly think that she should suffer in some way and be punished and be miserable - like you.
It kills you that perhaps she's not. That somehow she came into your lives, created this chaos and upheaval and shoved off without a hint of remorse or having to get any payback.
OH WELL.
Maybe she's all the things you think. Could be true. Probably fairer to say that your husband is equally guilty and accountable. Either way - her relationship with her husband is not any of your business. And if she's no longer messing with your DH than you really shouldn't be focused on the details of her at all. If your husband was weak and ready and cheat - it would have been some other regular contact - co-worker, babysitter, 7/11 worker. Who knows? You're obsessed about the wrong thing. Get over her. It's pathetic and makes you look pathetic. You going to her DH will make you appear deranged and sad.
Get your shit together. Ask for a trial separation if you have to. Good grief - have some self-respect about yourself. Decide if you can look at your husband after he engaged in an almost kiss and long hugs.
Clearly you are not in a forgiving state and need counseling - individual and marriage.
You blame the OW. You squarely put it at her feet - your language (she tried to kiss him, she tried to get him to go out, her husband doesn't know the details). You clearly think that she should suffer in some way and be punished and be miserable - like you.
It kills you that perhaps she's not. That somehow she came into your lives, created this chaos and upheaval and shoved off without a hint of remorse or having to get any payback.
OH WELL.
Maybe she's all the things you think. Could be true. Probably fairer to say that your husband is equally guilty and accountable. Either way - her relationship with her husband is not any of your business. And if she's no longer messing with your DH than you really shouldn't be focused on the details of her at all. If your husband was weak and ready and cheat - it would have been some other regular contact - co-worker, babysitter, 7/11 worker. Who knows? You're obsessed about the wrong thing. Get over her. It's pathetic and makes you look pathetic. You going to her DH will make you appear deranged and sad.
Get your shit together. Ask for a trial separation if you have to. Good grief - have some self-respect about yourself. Decide if you can look at your husband after he engaged in an almost kiss and long hugs.
Anonymous
04/09/2018 12:54
Subject: Expose details of the affair to the other woman’s (AP) husband?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:A few thoughts:
1) This is between you and your husband.
2) That email response was likely written by the affair partner (ap).
3) Dh and ap definitely had sex.
Totally what I thought too when I read the response.
And I wouldn't say #3 is for sure...but the "tried" to kiss him doesn't fly. If at any point you "tried" (and failed--as what is implied by that) to kiss a guy and he did not respond, do you think you would be still having an "emotional" affair a year later? "Tried" implies he rejected her attempts and I guarantee you that did. not. happen.[/quote
Do you know/remember what it feels like to embrace someone you're attracted to, but haven't kissed (yet)? Hugging is very personal -especially long hugs. At some point biology and hormones take over and you kiss. Over a period of time (1 year!) these long embraces are going to build sexual tension and longing. There is no way they didn't at least make out and grope each other, but I believe they went all the way.
Anonymous
04/09/2018 12:33
Subject: Re:Expose details of the affair to the other woman’s (AP) husband?
OP, the email from AP's husband made me remember the other thread (they run 5-6 days a week or something like that). I'm sorry for what you're going through, but don't contact AP's husband again. You told him once, he either knew or didn't want to know. Telling him more isn't going to make things better for you. Imagine the best case scenario - that he dumps her once he finds out what she said to your husband. Will that really help heal your marriage? No. I know it seems like it'll make you feel better, but it won't. Be done with her and focus on your husband and yourself.
Anonymous
04/09/2018 12:31
Subject: Expose details of the affair to the other woman’s (AP) husband?
Anonymous wrote:A few thoughts:
1) This is between you and your husband.
2) That email response was likely written by the affair partner (ap).
3) Dh and ap definitely had sex.
Totally what I thought too when I read the response.
And I wouldn't say #3 is for sure...but the "tried" to kiss him doesn't fly. If at any point you "tried" (and failed--as what is implied by that) to kiss a guy and he did not respond, do you think you would be still having an "emotional" affair a year later? "Tried" implies he rejected her attempts and I guarantee you that did. not. happen.
Anonymous
04/09/2018 12:27
Subject: Re:Expose details of the affair to the other woman’s (AP) husband?
My ass it ended at "long hugs"
Anonymous
04/09/2018 12:09
Subject: Expose details of the affair to the other woman’s (AP) husband?
Anonymous wrote:His response back was basically "lol, I know and don't care"
Sounds like they may have an open marriage.
Just focus on your own side and repairing the damage there if you can.
This
Anonymous
04/09/2018 11:43
Subject: Expose details of the affair to the other woman’s (AP) husband?
Yeah, grown adults who are emotionally close and have time alone don't just hug. They don't even just kiss.
Anonymous
04/09/2018 11:32
Subject: Expose details of the affair to the other woman’s (AP) husband?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:A few thoughts:
1) This is between you and your husband.
2) That email response was likely written by the affair partner (ap).
3) Dh and ap definitely had sex.
Agree with #1 but what in her email leads you to believe AP wrote the email and that they had sex?
Unless ap has an open marriage, there's no way her husband would react this way to op's email. The sex is obvious. Op's dh copped to "long hugs", a deflected kiss and that it took place for over a year with them meeting up alone. What a person admits to is the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. There is no way they didn't have sex, imo.
Anonymous
04/09/2018 11:31
Subject: Expose details of the affair to the other woman’s (AP) husband?
Anonymous wrote:OP, he knows how to contact you if he wants more details.
He does NOT want more details at this time. Or, he got them from his wife.
Long hugs? reallllllllly?
Is this OP the one who posted a while back about the DH having an "emotional affair" with a coworker with whom DH went jogging a lot? That poster referred to "long hugs when he walked her to her car." This OP also uses the same terms but leaves out the running.
OP, if you are that same earlier poster: If you aren't already, get couples therapy. You are still focusing hard on the affair and he may not have told the full truth. The fact you are still thinking this much about contacting the AP's husband a second time shows you are in need of an objective outside professional to help you and your DH.
Anonymous
04/09/2018 11:16
Subject: Re:Expose details of the affair to the other woman’s (AP) husband?
Tend to your own house!
Anonymous
04/09/2018 11:15
Subject: Expose details of the affair to the other woman’s (AP) husband?
What would be your objective, exactly?
Anonymous
04/09/2018 11:12
Subject: Expose details of the affair to the other woman’s (AP) husband?
No. Leave him alone. That's basically what he (very politely) told you that he wants you to do.
Anonymous
04/09/2018 11:12
Subject: Expose details of the affair to the other woman’s (AP) husband?
Were you the poster whose husband went jogging? If so, I remember your post.
I'd leave it alone and work on my own marriage.
I'd leave it alone and work on my own marriage.
Anonymous
04/09/2018 11:10
Subject: Expose details of the affair to the other woman’s (AP) husband?
I remember you posted about this when you found out. Hugs, OP.
I think you are probably still very distraught and can't lash out at your husband or his AP, you feel the need to displace your anger by telling her husband. Since you already told him, I'd let it go, and focus that energy on you and your marriage. Are you in couples counseling? Is your DH in individual counseling? Is he in AA?
I think you are probably still very distraught and can't lash out at your husband or his AP, you feel the need to displace your anger by telling her husband. Since you already told him, I'd let it go, and focus that energy on you and your marriage. Are you in couples counseling? Is your DH in individual counseling? Is he in AA?