Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but “butterflies” usually means sexual attraction, no?

No it means...I mean I guess that is part of it but no. It means excited to see that person, thrilled by their presence. Feeling special and fulfilled because they are there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but “butterflies” usually means sexual attraction, no?

I've never viewed "butterflies" as sexual - I feel them when I think of my husband while sitting at home and teleworking. It's just a bubbly good feeling that trickles through my body - not sexual though. I'm just happy he is mine and that he exists. The only other way to describe is like a schoolgirl crush - you see Tommy from social studies standing near your locker and you just get excited and happy about that person.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but “butterflies” usually means sexual attraction, no?

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but “butterflies” usually means sexual attraction, no?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Much of this seems more like sexual attraction than “deeply in love.” I hear the latter phrase used mostly by people who have left their first spouses for someone new, though, so maybe I’m jaded.

I'm surprised that is what you're reading into it. I feel like that is not it at all, it has almost nothing to do with sex. Sex is more a manifestation of it or a way to feel it in a more undiluted way but it is not sexual attraction.

It is just feeling 100% at ease and at one with another person. I feel completely accepted and completely accepting, and it is much more that those things are in the way I think and communicate and act than between the sheets.

I think what you are describing is initial relationship infatuation, that is a cousin of this feeling but not the same thing.

I was also surprised by the earlier comment. I feel super lucky to have met my DH and like others, I don't like to talk about how in love we are because no one else really gets it. My SIL mocks how affectionate DH is towards me, but her marriage was openly one of timing - I think after feeling what I've felt for the DH...I could never go that route. It's not just the sex, but it's this bond that you can't shake.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Much of this seems more like sexual attraction than “deeply in love.” I hear the latter phrase used mostly by people who have left their first spouses for someone new, though, so maybe I’m jaded.

I'm surprised that is what you're reading into it. I feel like that is not it at all, it has almost nothing to do with sex. Sex is more a manifestation of it or a way to feel it in a more undiluted way but it is not sexual attraction.

It is just feeling 100% at ease and at one with another person. I feel completely accepted and completely accepting, and it is much more that those things are in the way I think and communicate and act than between the sheets.

I think what you are describing is initial relationship infatuation, that is a cousin of this feeling but not the same thing.

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the butterflies and physical reaction. Even after many years, I get excited to see him and come home to him and I am proud to call him mine. I can’t imagine life without him—literally cannot imagine it. I’m crazy about everything about him. He’s so sexy to me but also generous, loving, kind, the entire package. I truly feel that he’s irreplaceable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Much of this seems more like sexual attraction than “deeply in love.” I hear the latter phrase used mostly by people who have left their first spouses for someone new, though, so maybe I’m jaded.

It's far more than sexual chemistry, though I don't think you can have it without the sexual aspect.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh and I (married 10 years) just had a discussion last night that together we felt like a whole person. We just truly complete each other and together we're extremely well rounded in our interests and abilities. We are deeply, madly in love but I wouldn't tell others that. It feels a bit too special to brag about as I don't see it in other's marriages. I wake up every day grateful for him and our marriage.

I'm crazy about my DH but in no way does he complete me. Except for fathering my children I've always considered myself to be pretty complete emotionally, financially etc. What he does do is complement (not compliment!) me and I hope I complement him so that 1+1=3.

Anonymous wrote:Much of this seems more like sexual attraction than “deeply in love.” I hear the latter phrase used mostly by people who have left their first spouses for someone new, though, so maybe I’m jaded.

Anonymous wrote:Much of this seems more like sexual attraction than “deeply in love.” I hear the latter phrase used mostly by people who have left their first spouses for someone new, though, so maybe I’m jaded.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hate to say it, but it is one of those things that you just know and feel. Kind of magical.

Chemical bonding. Truly.

+1 I literally have a physical reaction just thinking about him (increased heart rate, butterflies, etc).

This.

I know sometimes people think it has to be fake but DH and I are just lucky that we found "the one" on every level.

Been with him 20+ and I still get butterflies in my heart. When he looks at me, even just casually, I can feel the love radiating from him. We've been "deeply in love" from the moment we met.

Not from the moment we met but this. You just feel it.

I think it is like the feeling of being completely at peace and satisfied in a way. I just can't imagine being without him. When we're apart it feels like something is just not quite right.

It isn't codependency though, we are just happier and complete together. I could survive without him, but I have no desire to try.