Anonymous
Post 04/03/2018 22:50     Subject: Please remove shoes sign- Rude?
New poster here,
For those suggesting cleaning the floor after they leave, how do you clean the rug?
I had a neighbor over for lunch and she didn’t remove her shoes. I didn’t ask her to because it felt very awkward to. But I just couldn’t stand the fact that she walked all over our rug in the family room. We lay down on it very often. I still don’t know how to deal with this! Most people look at my feet and ask me if they need to remove their shoes but some don’t.
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2018 22:50     Subject: Please remove shoes sign- Rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I am half European and half Asian. When i was a child, my European mother's family used to consider it the height of rudeness to remove shoes, but our close relatives got used to it. We never asked it of our older, more conservative family members.

I would hope that now it's a more accepted lifestyle. I married into an Asian family and we always politely request that guests remove their shoes, except for large indoor-outdoor parties where everyone stays in their shoes and we mop up afterward.




What? The Europeans I know and visit regularly (both in the U.S. and in Europe) ALWAYS remove their shoes in the house.


Please read my post.

This was not the case a few decades ago, and older generations still don't like it.

And having lived in various European countries most of my life (France, UK and Germany), I think I know more Europeans than you.


Anonymous
Post 04/03/2018 22:49     Subject: Please remove shoes sign- Rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm white, not Asian. Originally from a different English speaking country, also spent a few years in a non-English-speaking European country. Now in the USA for a decade.

We always remove shoes in the house, have always done so, and ask others to do so as well if they don't figure it out for themselves. We don't have pets or other filth on the floors, the kids are often laying around playing on the floor, and we want to keep things pretty clean.

Honestly though, most of the people that I can remember inviting over just do it automatically.


Same here. Almost everyone we know -- mostly white -- removes their shoes in their own houses or at least asks. We are also a no-shoe house but we're not militant about it. My mom and my grandparents have foot problems. When they come over they ask apologetically if they can keep their shoes on and of course I say yes. (My mom does take off shoes in her own house but then puts on indoor shoes.) I would rather clean afterwards than make them feel uncomfortable. No one my age (late 30s) has ever batted an eye at going barefoot or just in socks.

I can't remember the last time I went to someone's house and did not remove my shoes. And I always ask. I think most people these days are open to the idea. A sign isn't necessary. You can just ask them nicely when they come in.


I think if I had relatives with legit medical issues then I'd buy them a nice pair of slippers to wear/keep at our house (of their preference/choosing), so that we're all comfortable. Maybe I'm a bit more OCD than most, but I personally wouldn't be able to relax knowing that someone was trekking street/metro filth and dog crap and whatever else they've ever stepped in through my house. Our floor tends to be a lot cleaner than most though and the thought of animals inside the house also turns my stomach. I don't want to bleach the hard floors and steam clean the carpets just because we have people visit - little kids and no time for unscheduled deep cleanings!
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2018 22:47     Subject: Please remove shoes sign- Rude?
We remove our shoes in the house, but when we have guests who are not family or very close friends we put our shoes on for their visit, so that they feel comfortable keeping theirs on. I would never ask a guest to remove their shoes, although I do remove mine when visiting people with shoeless households.

I can’t imagine having a dinner party with work associates and everyone is walking around barefoot or in socks.

Cleaning floors after a gathering is a small price to pay for guests’ comfort.
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2018 22:43     Subject: Please remove shoes sign- Rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You can but some people might view it as unkind. If your culture is to always wear shoes in public, i.e. outside your own home, it is very awkward and uncomfortable to take your shoes off in someone else's home.

As a good host, you want your guests to be comfortable and to feel welcome, so no I wouldn't put up such a sign.


Why would you not feel welcome if you have to take your shoes off? OP, I'd just say "we're a no shoes in the house family." For those guests you aren't completely comfortable asking, add "we have some new socks over here if you don't want to go with bare feet." Just buy a couple packs of adult sized socks and have them available for those guests. They can take them when they leave or you can keep them yourself, but have unused ones for guests. Keep them in a cute basket by the door. Skip the sign, it's more awkward than casually just saying the rule and offering new socks.



I guess you didn't read 21:44's response.

Like that PP, it's damn near impossible for me to feel comfortable walking around with bare feet. And what about senior citizens who visit? I wouldn't ask my 75 year old father to remove his shoes in my home.


Shoe covers as an option?


The problem with shoe covers is that they can be slippery, especially on wood or tile floors. I wouldn't want to take a risk that a guest could fall and be injured, especially an elderly person who might have balance issues.

Many people consider it rude to take off their shoes in front of non family members, so I wouldn't want to offend guests.
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2018 22:39     Subject: Please remove shoes sign- Rude?
Maybe a Hawaiian sign will make your request more friendly. “Mahalo for removing your shoes”
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2018 22:35     Subject: Please remove shoes sign- Rude?
If you put up a sign, OP, maybe make it a little more positive...instead of "please take your shoes off" or "no shoes in the house" how about

"we go shoes-free inside!" or "shoes-free zone!" or "socks only, please"
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2018 22:32     Subject: Please remove shoes sign- Rude?
Anonymous wrote:I'm white, not Asian. Originally from a different English speaking country, also spent a few years in a non-English-speaking European country. Now in the USA for a decade.

We always remove shoes in the house, have always done so, and ask others to do so as well if they don't figure it out for themselves. We don't have pets or other filth on the floors, the kids are often laying around playing on the floor, and we want to keep things pretty clean.

Honestly though, most of the people that I can remember inviting over just do it automatically.


Same here. Almost everyone we know -- mostly white -- removes their shoes in their own houses or at least asks. We are also a no-shoe house but we're not militant about it. My mom and my grandparents have foot problems. When they come over they ask apologetically if they can keep their shoes on and of course I say yes. (My mom does take off shoes in her own house but then puts on indoor shoes.) I would rather clean afterwards than make them feel uncomfortable. No one my age (late 30s) has ever batted an eye at going barefoot or just in socks.

I can't remember the last time I went to someone's house and did not remove my shoes. And I always ask. I think most people these days are open to the idea. A sign isn't necessary. You can just ask them nicely when they come in.
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2018 22:18     Subject: Re:Please remove shoes sign- Rude?
Anonymous wrote:Sucks when you have pants hemmed at the length of the heel of boots, etc.

I’m 5’5” and solve having to get dress pants hemmed/altered by wearing a heel. It also elongates the look. Taking off the shoes/boots makes my pants all bunched up and dragging on the floor.


Bring your own slippers with a soft heel.
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2018 22:16     Subject: Please remove shoes sign- Rude?
I'm white, not Asian. Originally from a different English speaking country, also spent a few years in a non-English-speaking European country. Now in the USA for a decade.

We always remove shoes in the house, have always done so, and ask others to do so as well if they don't figure it out for themselves. We don't have pets or other filth on the floors, the kids are often laying around playing on the floor, and we want to keep things pretty clean.

Honestly though, most of the people that I can remember inviting over just do it automatically.
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2018 22:15     Subject: Please remove shoes sign- Rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You can but some people might view it as unkind. If your culture is to always wear shoes in public, i.e. outside your own home, it is very awkward and uncomfortable to take your shoes off in someone else's home.

As a good host, you want your guests to be comfortable and to feel welcome, so no I wouldn't put up such a sign.


Why would you not feel welcome if you have to take your shoes off? OP, I'd just say "we're a no shoes in the house family." For those guests you aren't completely comfortable asking, add "we have some new socks over here if you don't want to go with bare feet." Just buy a couple packs of adult sized socks and have them available for those guests. They can take them when they leave or you can keep them yourself, but have unused ones for guests. Keep them in a cute basket by the door. Skip the sign, it's more awkward than casually just saying the rule and offering new socks.



I guess you didn't read 21:44's response.

Like that PP, it's damn near impossible for me to feel comfortable walking around with bare feet. And what about senior citizens who visit? I wouldn't ask my 75 year old father to remove his shoes in my home.


Shoe covers as an option?

Anonymous
Post 04/03/2018 22:14     Subject: Please remove shoes sign- Rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I give people options: remove shoes and use the provided spa slippers that they can take home with them, remove shoes and be barefoot/socks, or keep shoes on but wear shoe covers. Is this rude??


I would not want people walking around barefoot in my house. What if they have athletes foot?


I'm guessing anyone with athlete's foot would pick one of the options other than bare feet. I think this a pretty comprehensive set of options that shouldn't offend anyone. If you don't want people walking around barefooted, only give the take home spa slippers or shoe covers.
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2018 22:11     Subject: Please remove shoes sign- Rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You can but some people might view it as unkind. If your culture is to always wear shoes in public, i.e. outside your own home, it is very awkward and uncomfortable to take your shoes off in someone else's home.

As a good host, you want your guests to be comfortable and to feel welcome, so no I wouldn't put up such a sign.


Why would you not feel welcome if you have to take your shoes off? OP, I'd just say "we're a no shoes in the house family." For those guests you aren't completely comfortable asking, add "we have some new socks over here if you don't want to go with bare feet." Just buy a couple packs of adult sized socks and have them available for those guests. They can take them when they leave or you can keep them yourself, but have unused ones for guests. Keep them in a cute basket by the door. Skip the sign, it's more awkward than casually just saying the rule and offering new socks.



I guess you didn't read 21:44's response.

Like that PP, it's damn near impossible for me to feel comfortable walking around with bare feet. And what about senior citizens who visit? I wouldn't ask my 75 year old father to remove his shoes in my home.
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2018 22:09     Subject: Re:Please remove shoes sign- Rude?
Sucks when you have pants hemmed at the length of the heel of boots, etc.

I’m 5’5” and solve having to get dress pants hemmed/altered by wearing a heel. It also elongates the look. Taking off the shoes/boots makes my pants all bunched up and dragging on the floor.
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2018 22:07     Subject: Please remove shoes sign- Rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I am half European and half Asian. When i was a child, my European mother's family used to consider it the height of rudeness to remove shoes, but our close relatives got used to it. We never asked it of our older, more conservative family members.

I would hope that now it's a more accepted lifestyle. I married into an Asian family and we always politely request that guests remove their shoes, except for large indoor-outdoor parties where everyone stays in their shoes and we mop up afterward.




What? The Europeans I know and visit regularly (both in the U.S. and in Europe) ALWAYS remove their shoes in the house.


NP...not only this but when we lived in England for two years, my DC had to get "indoor shoes" to take to school and leave in their cubbies to change into once they arrived at school. These were specific "plimsole" shoes (usually some type of slip-on) that were never worn outside. So no matter what shoes they wore to school that day, they always took them off and changed into their indoor shoes for school so that the common areas of the school (classroom, cafeteria, gym) were clean.