No regrets over skipping the wedding, but I do regret not having a honeymoon.

No wedding, no regrets. Years later had family and friends gather for low-key Bar Mitzvahs for kids. It was nice to get family and friends together and provide a meal. Felt so different planning something for someone else (the kids and the family who wanted to see them) rather than an event focused on us, which we had no interest in doing.

Eloped, by plan, to one of the three cities in the US where you can get same-day licenses (NYC, Vegas & New Orleans, in case anyone reading this is looking)! Including rings, photographer & one-week honeymoon, it cost $5k. We have never been sorry.

Anonymous wrote: 25 people at a restaurant. Ended up spending about 3K for everything. Still married, still happy. ?

We got married at a restaurant, too - in the courtyard. I wore a tasteful ivory suit. Dh wore a dark suit. No bridesmaids or groomsmen.

We had lived together for quite awhile before we got married so our home was already established. I would have felt silly flouncing down the aisle in a long snow white gown - "You may kiss the bride".

It was the right wedding for us. No regrets.

We got married at the courthouse after knowing each other for 6 months. Married 9 years now and two small kids.

Courthouse, followed by dinner for 30 people at a restaurant.

25 people at a restaurant. Ended up spending about 3K for everything. Still married, still happy. ?

Anonymous wrote:We did a planned elopement in Hawaii then barbecue in my hometown a month later. It was the kind of thing that dcum people would hate with kegs and pulled pork and fried chicken. , children and even dogs were invited. It was amazing

We got married in the carribean with just our parents, my grandma, his brother and a few friends there. We then did have a fancier “at home reception” for my parents’ family and friends. A reception hall close to where I grew up. Later, we did more of what you described at my husband’s parents house for his family’s people.

I was an only child and my parents wanted a party for our rather large extended family. But we did it pretty low key-the facility was basically all inclusive and my dad knew the owner. It wasn’t totally ridiculous.

We just tried to include as many people as we could in our parties. A big one day affair just didn’t work and wasn’t our style.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We married in the courthouse. We celebrated at home - around 50 people. No gifts. Parents had paid for college so we started with no student debt. It was a major legup for us in life.

I will do the same for my kids. I will pay for their college and higher studies. Also when they get married (in the courthouse), I will throw a modest party (approx - 10K) + 50K cash gift towards either retirement or down payment for a house + a new car (approx $30K). I will not spend more than this.

If my kids want grand weddings, they will have to pay for it themselves. I will give 50K for the down payment for a house/retirement. I will also put 30K for my grandkids college fund.

You sound pretentious.

New Poster...This sounds wise and incrdibly generous IMHO! I would like to do the same for my kids actually!

+1

Very!

I think if I had to do it again, I would skip it because of other people's drama. Too many guests at our wedding had bad weddings/marriages, and seemed to want the same for perfectly innocent young couple. Or maybe that's just my ILs. But then again, you learn an awful lot about people during that time.

I like PPs plan of giving money for a house instead.

We did a planned elopement in Hawaii then barbecue in my hometown a month later. It was the kind of thing that dcum people would hate with kegs and pulled pork and fried chicken. , children and even dogs were invited. It was amazing

Anonymous wrote:I didn't. It costs us just $60 at the courthouse. I tell my husband he's so lucky to have a cheap wife

We did the same.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We married in the courthouse. We celebrated at home - around 50 people. No gifts. Parents had paid for college so we started with no student debt. It was a major legup for us in life.

I will do the same for my kids. I will pay for their college and higher studies. Also when they get married (in the courthouse), I will throw a modest party (approx - 10K) + 50K cash gift towards either retirement or down payment for a house + a new car (approx $30K). I will not spend more than this.

If my kids want grand weddings, they will have to pay for it themselves. I will give 50K for the down payment for a house/retirement. I will also put 30K for my grandkids college fund.

You sound pretentious.

New Poster...This sounds wise and incrdibly generous IMHO! I would like to do the same for my kids actually!

We didn't and it was glorious! DH's family is drama city. Lots of divorces and just really petty. They were already pulling us in various directions "Don't invite step mom..just your father" or "You better not have your step sisters in the bridal party" and endless other stuff. We had already decided not to have a wedding, but they were already assuming.

Honeymoon was glorious! We had plenty of savings for a home. Yes, there was drama over the fact we didn't have a wedding, but would have been far worse if we did. We threw a modest celebration months later. Way cheaper when it's not a wedding and we kept it shorter than a wedding too. When dram started it was already time to say "well it was nice seeing you Larla. Please feel free to take some flowers back with you if you like!"

I never dreamed of being a fancy bride, only dreamed of having a good marriage and we do...16 years later!

We got married at a courthouse. We both had a very sick parent who could not travel (one was in hospice care and passed almost immediately after) so it wouldn't have been fair to have a big wedding.

No regrets at all.

Anonymous wrote:We married in the courthouse. We celebrated at home - around 50 people. No gifts. Parents had paid for college so we started with no student debt. It was a major legup for us in life.

I will do the same for my kids. I will pay for their college and higher studies. Also when they get married (in the courthouse), I will throw a modest party (approx - 10K) + 50K cash gift towards either retirement or down payment for a house + a new car (approx $30K). I will not spend more than this.

If my kids want grand weddings, they will have to pay for it themselves. I will give 50K for the down payment for a house/retirement. I will also put 30K for my grandkids college fund.

You sound pretentious.