Anonymous
Post 03/20/2018 07:12     Subject: Re:wife keeps her name
I am in the middle of a divorce. We separated 5 years ago. I will have changed my name a total of 3 times since marrying this jerk. He is really good at manipulating people. I see it all for what it was now. But I love my maiden last name and would never change it for another man. Now my daughter and I will have different last names. I don't care. She'll eventually be old enough (way past adulthood) when I tell her why when the question comes up.


I'm in a similar boat but just got remarried so debating whether to go back to my maiden name (which is not awesome) or go with new DH's. He's fine with whatever I want to do but likely wants me to take his (FWIW his XDW still has his even though she's now remarried too). I am definitely changing it from my XDH's so will have a different one from my DD regardless. Changing names is the worst, I really wish I would have kept my maiden name all along.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2018 07:09     Subject: wife keeps her name
I'm a husband of a wife who kept her name. I don't regret marrying her because she makes up for it in other ways but I pretty much resent it, am jealous of men whose wives took their names and hope she will change it some day to have the same last name as our future kids, like other women I know have done or plan to do
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2018 07:03     Subject: Re:wife keeps her name
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Married 30 years. Did not change my name. I think wonen who do are silly and weak, and look pretty dumb when they are divorced.


Yes, it’s the divorce thing that gets me. You are left with someone else’s name, having abandoned your own.


Abandoned their fathers’ name, you mean.


This is interesting. My sister couldn't not have dropped our last name fast enough...we are estranged from our dad and our last name is kinda awful. Meanwhile, even though both our dad and the name both suck, I have always still been very attached to it as it is mine and so I kept it.

If my last names wasn't so awful I would have used it as my kids' middle name...I like that tradition. I ended up using my mom's last name, which is the last name of her late second husband and my brothers.

My DH and kids' last name is perfect normal and nice and should blend well with their future spouses'...however they choose to do that.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2018 06:35     Subject: Re:wife keeps her name
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Married 30 years. Did not change my name. I think wonen who do are silly and weak, and look pretty dumb when they are divorced.


Yes, it’s the divorce thing that gets me. You are left with someone else’s name, having abandoned your own.


Abandoned their fathers’ name, you mean.


Not really, it is the name we have had since birth.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2018 06:35     Subject: wife keeps her name
Anonymous wrote:what do you think of married couples (with children) who go by different last names? just your first impression. or do you think nothing of it?


I don’t think anything of it. It is the norm in our circle of friends ad family.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2018 06:28     Subject: Re:wife keeps her name
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Married 30 years. Did not change my name. I think wonen who do are silly and weak, and look pretty dumb when they are divorced.


Yes, it’s the divorce thing that gets me. You are left with someone else’s name, having abandoned your own.


Abandoned their fathers’ name, you mean.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2018 06:27     Subject: Re:wife keeps her name
Anonymous wrote:Married 30 years. Did not change my name. I think wonen who do are silly and weak, and look pretty dumb when they are divorced.


Yes, it’s the divorce thing that gets me. You are left with someone else’s name, having abandoned your own.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2018 06:24     Subject: Re:wife keeps her name
Married 30 years. Did not change my name. I think wonen who do are silly and weak, and look pretty dumb when they are divorced.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2018 06:17     Subject: wife keeps her name
Anonymous wrote:Am one of them. Think nothing of it. Wonder a little about the women who change their names, though.


What is it that you wonder? She just took a different man’s name than the man’s name you have.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2018 05:34     Subject: wife keeps her name
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Am one of them. Think nothing of it. Wonder a little about the women who change their names, though.


I hope you don’t pull a muscle patting yourself on the back.


I'm not the PP but I also kept my name. Why wouldn't I? It's my name. It's one thing if you really love the name Smith or whatever and always wanted your name to be that. In which case just change it whenever you want.

But you can count me as another person who wonders about the women who are lacking an identity so much that they change their name to their husband's name after the man agrees to marry her and hence 'allows' them to do so.


I changed mine because I’m proud to share my husband’s name. No more, no less. I’m very successful and independent and we have a wonderful relationship. You sound defensive and a little insecure, because why I changed it is a) none of your business and b) not why you assume I did.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2018 23:15     Subject: Re:wife keeps her name
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You must be new here.


This. There have been a couple of threads over the last couple of years that indicate most women don't take their husband's last name anymore, at least in the DC area. Other people get divorced and the DW doesn't change her last name back for whatever reason. There have been threads on that here, too. Like the one where they got divorced and he got remarried, his new wife took his last name, and the ex-wife kept his last name.

I am in the middle of a divorce. We separated 5 years ago. I will have changed my name a total of 3 times since marrying this jerk. He is really good at manipulating people. I see it all for what it was now. But I love my maiden last name and would never change it for another man. Now my daughter and I will have different last names. I don't care. She'll eventually be old enough (way past adulthood) when I tell her why when the question comes up.



I remember as a teen thinking about my grandma having 4 different last names in her life. Didn't make sense to me.


She should have married better.


It is true, but if you don't know how to marry well in the practical sense, you don't know. Also, maybe those men could have married better. It's not always the man's fault. You can only be responsible for yourself and if you realize you are picking bad partners, take the time to learn how to pick a good one, whatever that looks like.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2018 23:10     Subject: wife keeps her name
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Am one of them. Think nothing of it. Wonder a little about the women who change their names, though.


I hope you don’t pull a muscle patting yourself on the back.


I'm not the PP but I also kept my name. Why wouldn't I? It's my name. It's one thing if you really love the name Smith or whatever and always wanted your name to be that. In which case just change it whenever you want.

But you can count me as another person who wonders about the women who are lacking an identity so much that they change their name to their husband's name after the man agrees to marry her and hence 'allows' them to do so.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2018 22:36     Subject: Re:wife keeps her name
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You must be new here.


This. There have been a couple of threads over the last couple of years that indicate most women don't take their husband's last name anymore, at least in the DC area. Other people get divorced and the DW doesn't change her last name back for whatever reason. There have been threads on that here, too. Like the one where they got divorced and he got remarried, his new wife took his last name, and the ex-wife kept his last name.

I am in the middle of a divorce. We separated 5 years ago. I will have changed my name a total of 3 times since marrying this jerk. He is really good at manipulating people. I see it all for what it was now. But I love my maiden last name and would never change it for another man. Now my daughter and I will have different last names. I don't care. She'll eventually be old enough (way past adulthood) when I tell her why when the question comes up.



I remember as a teen thinking about my grandma having 4 different last names in her life. Didn't make sense to me.


She should have married better.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2018 22:29     Subject: Re:wife keeps her name
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You must be new here.


This. There have been a couple of threads over the last couple of years that indicate most women don't take their husband's last name anymore, at least in the DC area. Other people get divorced and the DW doesn't change her last name back for whatever reason. There have been threads on that here, too. Like the one where they got divorced and he got remarried, his new wife took his last name, and the ex-wife kept his last name.

I am in the middle of a divorce. We separated 5 years ago. I will have changed my name a total of 3 times since marrying this jerk. He is really good at manipulating people. I see it all for what it was now. But I love my maiden last name and would never change it for another man. Now my daughter and I will have different last names. I don't care. She'll eventually be old enough (way past adulthood) when I tell her why when the question comes up.



I remember as a teen thinking about my grandma having 4 different last names in her life. Didn't make sense to me.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2018 22:28     Subject: Re:wife keeps her name
I think nothing of it.