Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men like to monologue, women like conversations.

Just because she asked a question does not mean you are a professor that can lecture or monologue.

Yes!!!

+1 My god, you've just helped me figure out what drives me nuts about 'discussions' I have with my husband. It's one long monologue. He talks at me and takes forever to get to the point. Any advice on how to handle these differences?

Anonymous wrote:My DH pauses a lot when he speaks, so much so that the other person then starts to speak only to have him get mad and say that he wasn't finished. How the heck are we supposed to know you weren't finished. Stop pausing so much.

Haha . Sorry I had to chuckle.

Interrupting is poor manners, and frequently done to reinforce hierarchical and often misogynistic power dynamics. Participating in a conversation does not require interruption.

I work in a law firm and we don't generally interrupt each other when we're talking. We listen. THEN we speak. She's full of shit.

Oh please. I have worked in multiple firms, and other practices of law. Basically every single conversation is just a series of one interruption after the other. The idea that lawyers do not interrupt is a joke.

As for whether OP or his spouse is a douche... it is totally contextual. A couple questions I'd have for OP: (1) Have you thought about how long you tend to speak in "one go." Longer then e.g. 1 minute 2 so I think would be monologue, and you may be the problem. (2) In these "interruptions," is it an attempt to change the subject or to expand or ask questions about what you bring up? If you are talking about your commute and DW interjects, hmmm, how long did it take you today? then I wouldn't say that was disrespectful but just a back and forth about the subject you were discussing. If instead she interjects, uh huh, what should we eat tonight? then yes, she is cutting you off.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm overly quiet, but I have watched how my husband handles it with our extended family. He stops talking and lets them do their spiel. Then an awkward pause, from there he continues exactly where he left off, not saying anything about what they interrupted with. Highly amusing to watch especially when 10-15 minutes go by sometimes, before he swings things back on track. Takes a few rounds of this each visit, before they seem to catch on that they have cut him off and are being rude. I like the look of confusion on their faces, until it sinks in.

He sounds like a dick. Like an arrogant dick who thinks this is a sophisticated technique. Its ruder than interrupting because he is effectively saying "I'm not listening to you, just waiting for you to finish so I can carry on with my boring monologue"

It would be politer to say nothing, to respond to what that person is actually saying, to listen.

Your husband's technique is totally Bovine. Not to be applauded or duplicated.

You are obviously someone who interrupts others. No one said it was a monologue.

Actually I do not interrupt people, ever. And I'm actually gracious when I'm interrupted. And further, if your husband is RESUMING something he was saying previously, it is indeed, a monologue, by actual definition.

Yet you say OP’s husband sounds like an “arrogant dick”, is “boring and “totally bovine”. You are anything but gracious.

You are clearly just plain old STOOPID.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm overly quiet, but I have watched how my husband handles it with our extended family. He stops talking and lets them do their spiel. Then an awkward pause, from there he continues exactly where he left off, not saying anything about what they interrupted with. Highly amusing to watch especially when 10-15 minutes go by sometimes, before he swings things back on track. Takes a few rounds of this each visit, before they seem to catch on that they have cut him off and are being rude. I like the look of confusion on their faces, until it sinks in.

He sounds like a dick. Like an arrogant dick who thinks this is a sophisticated technique. Its ruder than interrupting because he is effectively saying "I'm not listening to you, just waiting for you to finish so I can carry on with my boring monologue"

It would be politer to say nothing, to respond to what that person is actually saying, to listen.

Your husband's technique is totally Bovine. Not to be applauded or duplicated.

You are obviously someone who interrupts others. No one said it was a monologue.

Actually I do not interrupt people, ever. And I'm actually gracious when I'm interrupted. And further, if your husband is RESUMING something he was saying previously, it is indeed, a monologue, by actual definition.

Yet you say OP’s husband sounds like an “arrogant dick”, is “boring and “totally bovine”. You are anything but gracious.

Anonymous wrote:I'm overly quiet, but I have watched how my husband handles it with our extended family. He stops talking and lets them do their spiel. Then an awkward pause, from there he continues exactly where he left off, not saying anything about what they interrupted with. Highly amusing to watch especially when 10-15 minutes go by sometimes, before he swings things back on track. Takes a few rounds of this each visit, before they seem to catch on that they have cut him off and are being rude. I like the look of confusion on their faces, until it sinks in.

I do this with my husbands family. Most of the time, though, they don’t notice that I have stopped speaking. I think they are more interested in hearing themselves speak than in hearing what I have to say

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm overly quiet, but I have watched how my husband handles it with our extended family. He stops talking and lets them do their spiel. Then an awkward pause, from there he continues exactly where he left off, not saying anything about what they interrupted with. Highly amusing to watch especially when 10-15 minutes go by sometimes, before he swings things back on track. Takes a few rounds of this each visit, before they seem to catch on that they have cut him off and are being rude. I like the look of confusion on their faces, until it sinks in.

He sounds like a dick. Like an arrogant dick who thinks this is a sophisticated technique. Its ruder than interrupting because he is effectively saying "I'm not listening to you, just waiting for you to finish so I can carry on with my boring monologue"

It would be politer to say nothing, to respond to what that person is actually saying, to listen.

Your husband's technique is totally Bovine. Not to be applauded or duplicated.

You are obviously someone who interrupts others. No one said it was a monologue.

Actually I do not interrupt people, ever. And I'm actually gracious when I'm interrupted. And further, if your husband is RESUMING something he was saying previously, it is indeed, a monologue, by actual definition.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm overly quiet, but I have watched how my husband handles it with our extended family. He stops talking and lets them do their spiel. Then an awkward pause, from there he continues exactly where he left off, not saying anything about what they interrupted with. Highly amusing to watch especially when 10-15 minutes go by sometimes, before he swings things back on track. Takes a few rounds of this each visit, before they seem to catch on that they have cut him off and are being rude. I like the look of confusion on their faces, until it sinks in.

He sounds like a dick. Like an arrogant dick who thinks this is a sophisticated technique. Its ruder than interrupting because he is effectively saying "I'm not listening to you, just waiting for you to finish so I can carry on with my boring monologue"

It would be politer to say nothing, to respond to what that person is actually saying, to listen.

Your husband's technique is totally Bovine. Not to be applauded or duplicated.

You are obviously someone who interrupts others. No one said it was a monologue.

Anonymous wrote:I'm overly quiet, but I have watched how my husband handles it with our extended family. He stops talking and lets them do their spiel. Then an awkward pause, from there he continues exactly where he left off, not saying anything about what they interrupted with. Highly amusing to watch especially when 10-15 minutes go by sometimes, before he swings things back on track. Takes a few rounds of this each visit, before they seem to catch on that they have cut him off and are being rude. I like the look of confusion on their faces, until it sinks in.

He sounds like a dick. Like an arrogant dick who thinks this is a sophisticated technique. Its ruder than interrupting because he is effectively saying "I'm not listening to you, just waiting for you to finish so I can carry on with my boring monologue"

It would be politer to say nothing, to respond to what that person is actually saying, to listen.

Your husband's technique is totally Bovine. Not to be applauded or duplicated.

Anonymous wrote:My DH pauses a lot when he speaks, so much so that the other person then starts to speak only to have him get mad and say that he wasn't finished. How the heck are we supposed to know you weren't finished. Stop pausing so much.

+1!! My DH does this all the time. He complains constantly about people interrupting him (including me) and if I mention his pausing he gets more irate. This is also a man who can talk forever, so when I hear a long pause, I think it’s my chance to respond. Ugh!!

I work in a law firm and we don't generally interrupt each other when we're talking. We listen. THEN we speak. She's full of shit.

Anonymous wrote:
I am sorely tempted to do this with people who are slow-talkers. At least I am aware of my proclivities and do my best not to interrupt.

agree.. it's hard to listen to slow talkers, even more so if they are monotone.