Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife surprised me on a business trip! I was almost my birthday and she drove 7 hours to drop the kids off at her moms then flew out of that airport another 4 hours to my work location. She booked a day of golf for us (which is my thing, not hers) and literally had 5k worth of brand new golf clubs next to her when she was knocking on my hotel room door. I felt like the worst person alive. I mean Hitler had grace over me at that moment. I could see her through the peep hole and the bow on the clubs and her smile. And there was NOTHING I could do. I couldn't stuff AP in the closet. Although I wanted to.

Was it actually a surprise or did your wife know about the AP and come see you on purpose to catch you?

NP here. Something also tells me she had an inkling.

Golf guy here. She didn't know. I could just tell. Everyone who has heard the story (and didn't know her/us) says that but I just know. She was so shocked. She wasn't even mad she was just really confused for a good 5 minutes. It would have been 10x better if she came down to catch me in the act.

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering how some of you were caught, and how your partner handled it. We're you mad they caught you?

Did they use GPS, software on your phone, or follow you? Did they hire a PI, or have a friend follow you? Voice activated recorder?

I've had acquaintances on both ends over the years, but I'm thinking with technology it must be harder to get away with it for very long.

I have no idea how my ex-husband found out about my affair. I was out of town at a friend's baby shower and my AP was in the same city for work and we met up. I woke up at 5am in my hotel room to my phone ringing and my husband saying, "Is there anything you want to tell me about what you've been doing and where you are right now?" I'd been trying to muster the courage to tell him that I was leaving him and why I was leaving him, so I just told him that I was having an affair, who it was with, and that I wanted a divorce. I asked him how he found out, and he told me I didn't deserve to know, which he was probably right about.

We had a pretty amicable divorce (one kid, but no money arguments or custody arguments) and maintain a pretty civil relationship now, 10 years later. AP and I stayed together and have been married for 8 years. My ex is getting married this summer and we are invited to the wedding. At the end of the day, I do not regret my divorce at all, but I do regret that I cheated instead of just leaving and starting a relationship with my now-DH free and clear. That is not the sort of person I want to be, and I'm deeply sorry that I hurt and humiliated my ex the way I did. He wasn't a great husband, but he's a good guy who didn't deserve what I did to him.

Anonymous wrote:My ex husband was just an idiot. Left his email logged in on his laptop. I was convinced he wasn't having an affair but my mom kept insisting he was hiding something. I expected to find nothing at all and call her up and say something like, "You have to let this go. He's not hiding anything." Instead I found evidence of at least 2 APs.
The next day I asked him if he was cheating and he looked me straight in the eye and lied to my face. And just for good measure, I guess, added that he would never do something like that because his dad cheated on his mom and he saw how much that hurt her.

Ugh. That last part

Anonymous wrote:

I don't know if she'd drive 7 hours, fly 4 hours, and spend $5000 on clubs... just for revenge.

Money is relative though, it may not have been a huge expense to her. I know I'd do it. Don't underestimate a woman scorned.

My ex husband was just an idiot. Left his email logged in on his laptop. I was convinced he wasn't having an affair but my mom kept insisting he was hiding something. I expected to find nothing at all and call her up and say something like, "You have to let this go. He's not hiding anything." Instead I found evidence of at least 2 APs.
The next day I asked him if he was cheating and he looked me straight in the eye and lied to my face. And just for good measure, I guess, added that he would never do something like that because his dad cheated on his mom and he saw how much that hurt her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife surprised me on a business trip! I was almost my birthday and she drove 7 hours to drop the kids off at her moms then flew out of that airport another 4 hours to my work location. She booked a day of golf for us (which is my thing, not hers) and literally had 5k worth of brand new golf clubs next to her when she was knocking on my hotel room door. I felt like the worst person alive. I mean Hitler had grace over me at that moment. I could see her through the peep hole and the bow on the clubs and her smile. And there was NOTHING I could do. I couldn't stuff AP in the closet. Although I wanted to.

Was it actually a surprise or did your wife know about the AP and come see you on purpose to catch you?

NP here. Something also tells me she had an inkling.

+1. I can't believe she played golf with you the next day. I would have gone all Tiger Woods' ex on you and taken that 7 iron to your car and maybe your head

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife surprised me on a business trip! I was almost my birthday and she drove 7 hours to drop the kids off at her moms then flew out of that airport another 4 hours to my work location. She booked a day of golf for us (which is my thing, not hers) and literally had 5k worth of brand new golf clubs next to her when she was knocking on my hotel room door. I felt like the worst person alive. I mean Hitler had grace over me at that moment. I could see her through the peep hole and the bow on the clubs and her smile. And there was NOTHING I could do. I couldn't stuff AP in the closet. Although I wanted to.

Was it actually a surprise or did your wife know about the AP and come see you on purpose to catch you?

NP here. Something also tells me she had an inkling.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife surprised me on a business trip! I was almost my birthday and she drove 7 hours to drop the kids off at her moms then flew out of that airport another 4 hours to my work location. She booked a day of golf for us (which is my thing, not hers) and literally had 5k worth of brand new golf clubs next to her when she was knocking on my hotel room door. I felt like the worst person alive. I mean Hitler had grace over me at that moment. I could see her through the peep hole and the bow on the clubs and her smile. And there was NOTHING I could do. I couldn't stuff AP in the closet. Although I wanted to.

Was it actually a surprise or did your wife know about the AP and come see you on purpose to catch you?

I don't know if she'd drive 7 hours, fly 4 hours, and spend $5000 on clubs... just for revenge.

Anonymous wrote:My wife surprised me on a business trip! I was almost my birthday and she drove 7 hours to drop the kids off at her moms then flew out of that airport another 4 hours to my work location. She booked a day of golf for us (which is my thing, not hers) and literally had 5k worth of brand new golf clubs next to her when she was knocking on my hotel room door. I felt like the worst person alive. I mean Hitler had grace over me at that moment. I could see her through the peep hole and the bow on the clubs and her smile. And there was NOTHING I could do. I couldn't stuff AP in the closet. Although I wanted to.

Was it actually a surprise or did your wife know about the AP and come see you on purpose to catch you?

Golf guy here. I just opened the door and told her. At the time I didn't think AP and her knew each other but we later found out they share a hairdresser and a cleaning lady. You never know how small your world is until the explodes. We actually went golfing (ex and i) the next day and just had a long 10 hour convo. We decided that day to end it. We didn't do the "i think I can get over this" dance.

Golf Guy did you get to keep the clubs?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering how some of you were caught, and how your partner handled it. We're you mad they caught you?

Did they use GPS, software on your phone, or follow you? Did they hire a PI, or have a friend follow you? Voice activated recorder?

I've had acquaintances on both ends over the years, but I'm thinking with technology it must be harder to get away with it for very long.

The wife of ex DH's BF was at a work function in a hotel restaurant and saw me and AP walking through a hotel lobby and snapped a pic of us getting on the elevator. She sent it to BF who sent it to DH. By the time we finished and I came downstairs, DH was in the lobby and had called or texted about 20 times. I saw him first and ducked out the back fire door before he saw me. He texted me the pic, said it was over and that I needed to be gone before he got home. Yea, he was mad.

Does anyone think women are more likely to be tattle-tales than men? DH told me that that his friends would have affairs known to the rest of them buddies and when I asked, "No one ratted So-and-So out?" he says no...Curious to know what pple think.

I'm a woman so can't say for sure, but I can imagine my male friends keeping it a secret to cover their friends.

Anonymous wrote:Golf guy here. I just opened the door and told her. At the time I didn't think AP and her knew each other but we later found out they share a hairdresser and a cleaning lady. You never know how small your world is until the explodes. We actually went golfing (ex and i) the next day and just had a long 10 hour convo. We decided that day to end it. We didn't do the "i think I can get over this" dance.

My sister discovered her SO was cheating on her with her hairdresser at a time when my sister was regularly confiding in said hairdresser about their relationship. Beware the hairdresser!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm wondering how some of you were caught, and how your partner handled it. We're you mad they caught you?

Did they use GPS, software on your phone, or follow you? Did they hire a PI, or have a friend follow you? Voice activated recorder?

I've had acquaintances on both ends over the years, but I'm thinking with technology it must be harder to get away with it for very long.

The wife of ex DH's BF was at a work function in a hotel restaurant and saw me and AP walking through a hotel lobby and snapped a pic of us getting on the elevator. She sent it to BF who sent it to DH. By the time we finished and I came downstairs, DH was in the lobby and had called or texted about 20 times. I saw him first and ducked out the back fire door before he saw me. He texted me the pic, said it was over and that I needed to be gone before he got home. Yea, he was mad.

Does anyone think women are more likely to be tattle-tales than men? DH told me that that his friends would have affairs known to the rest of them buddies and when I asked, "No one ratted So-and-So out?" he says no...Curious to know what pple think.

I walked in on my mom and a neighborhood dad when I was 16. I was supposed to be at a soccer game but it was rained out so I walked home. She is still with him, and if he were a more appropriate boyfriend for her we might have a better relationship, but I really cannot forget what I saw, because I saw all of both of them.

One of my friends suddenly kept going out of state to visit her family. Typically she would do that every 3-4 years. Then when it was 3 times in one year we all became suspicious. On FB we kept seeing this guy near her in the photos, or next to her. "Yes she was that dumb". Her husband caught on too, plus his grown kids probably showed him.
She left her 14 year marriage for the bf, and moved in with him. A year later she was telling everyone what a big mistake she made. When she tried to get back with the husband he told her to pound sand. He was totally humiliated that everyone of their friends and family knew because of FB.