Anonymous wrote:On the flip side I like to mention that I have kids but also a full time live in Nanny takes care of them to a about distracting my work.

I think Asians m applicants can use that to their advantage

Ugh , applicants (not Asians) autocorrect typo

Anonymous wrote:On the flip side I like to mention that I have kids but also a full time live in Nanny takes care of them to a about distracting my work.

I think Asians m applicants can use that to their advantage

.

Ugh , applicants (not Asians) autocorrect typo

On the flip side I like to mention that I have kids but also a full time live in Nanny takes care of them to a about distracting my work.

I think Asians m applicants can use that to their advantage

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I should also mention that I currently work from home, and many of my interviewers know that or it comes up, so perhaps they and I are flagging that for obvious reasons.

That being said, in the past six months I've gotten the following said to me:

1A: told about her teenage child dying suddenly and how far she lives from the office
1B: out of state CEO told me about his son working at a nearby trade association

2A: told they have a single child and were going out for T-giving
2B: basically the same, but I knew her.

3A: learned w/in the first five minutes that she was a step-mom to toddlers, so never experienced newborn needs

4A: phone screener told me she works from home with kids and dogs
4B: hiring manager was a single mom with a sick kid at home with nanny.

I wish I were making this stuff up. Wow, I've been interviewing a ton!

It isn't wrong for interviewers to tell you their family status. You can also disclose yours if you want. But you don't have to.

I wouldn't read too much into it. Studies indicate that employers typically look at having kids as a boon for a male (indicates you are stable, family person, reliable, etc) and a negative for women (for all the reasons women get mommy-tracked and men don't usually). I don't think 3 kids is so many that anyone would think it a problem. If you had, maybe, 9 kids I would not mention the number! but 3 is perfectly ordinary.

Anonymous wrote:Commute may be a real issue for employers. I tend to think they probably just want to make sure you realize the commute is going to be brutal and are committed/have some good reason. Otherwise, they fear they may lose you.

In my experience, kids come up in interviews. I seriously had a hiring manager last year complain to me about his "young female employees going out on maternity leave" and then take a long pause to look at me expectantly. The moment had every appearance of him looking for reassurance that I was not about to go out on maternity leave. I decided then and there I didn't want to work for that asshole (and I'm done having kids).

Other people bring it up under the guise of "what do you do when you're not in the office?" or "what matters to you outside of work" and other "get to know you" questions. It bugs me a little, and I never do more than mention them, but I have decided not to avoid it entirely. basically, I want a workplace that is okay with hiring people with kids. and if they don't want me because I'm a woman with kids, then I don't want them either. But . . . not everyone has the luxury of that attitude, I realize.

This is where I am too. I have a job that is really flexible and family friendly. While I could find a job that pays more fairly easily, I'm not willing to go work somewhere that isn't accommodating. The employer isn't the only one asking weed out questions in the interview. I'll probably end up staying here for a while.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't put your address on your resume. While I shouldn't factor that in, I do wonder if the applicant is going to have commute issues.

I also wouldn't volunteer anything about your family life.

100+ do not put an address on your resume. Not only might people judge the distance but your neighborhood too. As a person of color, I try to remove anything that might trigger bias.

Yep. I do the same as a POC. There is nothing on my resume that gives away my POC status. I used to live in Prince George's County and left my address off back then. Now I live in MoCo and sometimes leave it on.

I have young relatives with obviously ethnic names and have counseled them successfully to do the same. Ex, Dashaun Smith on resume is now Shaun Smith. Still potentially black, but not the same red flag to a hiring manager. This stuff matters so much.

Anonymous wrote:Don't put your address on your resume. While I shouldn't factor that in, I do wonder if the applicant is going to have commute issues.

I also wouldn't volunteer anything about your family life.

100+ do not put an address on your resume. Not only might people judge the distance but your neighborhood too. As a person of color, I try to remove anything that might trigger bias.

OP here, I should also mention that I currently work from home, and many of my interviewers know that or it comes up, so perhaps they and I are flagging that for obvious reasons.

That being said, in the past six months I've gotten the following said to me:

1A: told about her teenage child dying suddenly and how far she lives from the office
1B: out of state CEO told me about his son working at a nearby trade association

2A: told they have a single child and were going out for T-giving
2B: basically the same, but I knew her.

3A: learned w/in the first five minutes that she was a step-mom to toddlers, so never experienced newborn needs

4A: phone screener told me she works from home with kids and dogs
4B: hiring manager was a single mom with a sick kid at home with nanny.

I wish I were making this stuff up. Wow, I've been interviewing a ton!

Anonymous wrote:It’s also illegal to make hiring decisions based on commute at least in DC.

It’s definitely not illegal. Maybe just unwise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I have worked in NYC and had people commuting to work from Nassau and Suffolk, and worked in SF and had people commuting from Livermore. So I don't worry about distance.

And I don't know why you'd be talking about your kids so much that you're mentioning their ages. Stop doing that. Maybe you talk to much about your private life in an interview and THAT is the problem.

Hiring manager here. I agree with this. Different people have different thresholds as far as commutes go; you cannot assume anything here.

And I am confused as to why kids come up at all. Employers can’t ask, so why disclose this?

Well guess what. They do.

Well, it is illegal to discriminate based on familial status - it is prohibited by federal law. Anyone who is stupid enough to ask that question is opening themselves, and their company, up for a discrimination case if the person isn’t hired.

And which federal law would that be, that makes it illegal to discriminate based on family status?

Anonymous wrote:Commute may be a real issue for employers. I tend to think they probably just want to make sure you realize the commute is going to be brutal and are committed/have some good reason. Otherwise, they fear they may lose you.

In my experience, kids come up in interviews. I seriously had a hiring manager last year complain to me about his "young female employees going out on maternity leave" and then take a long pause to look at me expectantly. The moment had every appearance of him looking for reassurance that I was not about to go out on maternity leave. I decided then and there I didn't want to work for that asshole (and I'm done having kids).

Other people bring it up under the guise of "what do you do when you're not in the office?" or "what matters to you outside of work" and other "get to know you" questions. It bugs me a little, and I never do more than mention them, but I have decided not to avoid it entirely. basically, I want a workplace that is okay with hiring people with kids. and if they don't want me because I'm a woman with kids, then I don't want them either. But . . . not everyone has the luxury of that attitude, I realize.

This is my experience when I assist my organization with interviews. Obviously we don't want people using their commute as an excuse to be late or have bad attendance, but we also know that a tough commute can wear on people and we want to hire people who are in it for the long haul. We usually just ask something more general about their willingness to commute and be in the office rather than make a blanket judgement about the distance because everyone's threshold is different. Same with kids. We know it's illegal to ask, and we don't, but most people end up bringing it up themselves even indirectly. And we just want to know that flexibility works both ways - we can accommodate parents needing unexpected time off or remote days, but we also want to know that the employee is committed and won't just use kids as a get out of jail free card all the time. It's about how the person presents themselves and their attitude toward these things rather than simply having kids or having a long commute.

Anonymous wrote:It’s also illegal to make hiring decisions based on commute at least in DC.

I work in Maryland but for a national organization and my HR will not allow us to consider commute as part of the hiring decision. If it looks onerous, the recruiter will mention during the initial screening interview that we don’t have a telecommuting policy (which is true, unfortunately). But that doesn’t always work - we once had someone whose commute was 1.5+ hours one way. HR did discuss with her, but she seemed certain that it won’t be a problem. Well, she lasted all of two months and then quit because she couldn’t handle the commute.

I never asked question about commute or kids. With that said, I have had a long commute, and currently have a moderate commute. Kids is such a personal question. And there are so many sides.

But, what I have learned is the resume usually tells me if the person is competent or not (assuming they are not lying). So, I usually use an in-person interview to see if they will fit in our culture. Our shop is innovated and family friendly. What I mean by family friendly is we understand emergencies come up. We will deal with it. It does not mean that, since you have kids you don't pull your weight.

As an example, I often ask the following question: A fellow employee has a family emergency -- the child was self harming. He left the office with short notice even though there was an important customer meeting. As he is leaving, since he can't find his manager, he approaches you and asks for help on the task. What do you do? How do you feel?

(In my case, there is no perfect answer but there are wrong answers. For example, letting the meeting fall on the floor. )

Commute may be a real issue for employers. I tend to think they probably just want to make sure you realize the commute is going to be brutal and are committed/have some good reason. Otherwise, they fear they may lose you.

In my experience, kids come up in interviews. I seriously had a hiring manager last year complain to me about his "young female employees going out on maternity leave" and then take a long pause to look at me expectantly. The moment had every appearance of him looking for reassurance that I was not about to go out on maternity leave. I decided then and there I didn't want to work for that asshole (and I'm done having kids).

Other people bring it up under the guise of "what do you do when you're not in the office?" or "what matters to you outside of work" and other "get to know you" questions. It bugs me a little, and I never do more than mention them, but I have decided not to avoid it entirely. basically, I want a workplace that is okay with hiring people with kids. and if they don't want me because I'm a woman with kids, then I don't want them either. But . . . not everyone has the luxury of that attitude, I realize.

It’s also illegal to make hiring decisions based on commute at least in DC.