Anonymous wrote:My mother gave me the silent treatment all through childhood to control me. I no longer speak to her. Power games don’t fly with me, its emotional abuse.

That's awful, but good for you for getting away. It is emotional abuse.

In a perfect world, you would sit down with her and tell her how descructive her behavior is. I think your only choice is to not succumb to her whim when she starts talking to you again. Take a long break, then explain one final time that you will not deal with her abusive behavior. If/when she does it again--you are done.

Do you have other siblings or a father in the picture?

Anonymous wrote:My MIL did this. Her life s smaller now, since we DILs don't stand for it, and as a result, limit her access to our families. As she has come to understand that this behavior leaves her lonely, she has become less likely to do it.

She thinks I am a bitch.

Keep up the bitch then!!

Oh, time to ditch mommy long term. Does she live close by? That would be very unfortunate. Can you move?
These are not attributes that you want to pass on to your kids.
I would tell your kids that grandma is ‘in a snit and doesn’t want to talk to us’ and that she is being destructive to your family. Does DH have parents? Can you spend more time with them?

I wouldn’t ever interact with my mom when you aren’t physically with the children again. I would personally take a few years off from her stupid BS and not pick up the phone for a good 2 years and move on with your lives. Can you find any other friendly ‘step grandparents’ to hang out with some instead of mom? I’m being serious - we had a recent widower as grandpa to our kids for 20 years. Real grandpas either were dead or lived far away, step grandpa was one of the nicest people I’d ever met in my life and those 20 years together were wonderful.

My MIL did this. Her life s smaller now, since we DILs don't stand for it, and as a result, limit her access to our families. As she has come to understand that this behavior leaves her lonely, she has become less likely to do it.

She thinks I am a bitch.

My mother gave me the silent treatment all through childhood to control me. I no longer speak to her. Power games don’t fly with me, its emotional abuse.