Skip ahead- child is now 16 and has an "eating disorder" in which she will only eat junk. I am not making this up - mom says "at least she's getting calories"
This is my neighbor. I witness this weekly. I don't know how to hold my tongue any more. This girl is skin and bone, and for "dinner" ingests a Coke and a bubble tea. ! "at least she's getting calories"

Nope. I just use it as a teaching moment for my own DCs, who also witness this joyous scene.

I would be fine with McDonald's as a special grandma/granddaughter tradition.

I could even tolerate a Twinkie once a week.

Pepsi? That's over my line.

Perhaps your mom is going overboard because she thinks you are being ridiculously strict. Can you try working out a middle ground with her? One that won't damage your child's overall health but will still allow some special treats with Grandma?

I love how everyone is boxing the caregiver.

So OP, can her.


Now what?

The kid is 18months. Not even 5 when they whine and ask for it. It’s just lazy caregiving. I wouldn’t stand for it and would say no to babysitting by this grandparent with out my presence. This is the age when tastebuds form, sugar dependencies start etc. Treats are ok but not as an everyday thing. I have a 2 year old and she’s eat cookies and ice cream and chocolate all day if I let her. I don’t and Dave myself the tantrums and delight in her smiles when she gets a weekly treat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. If it were once in a while, fine -- my in-laws took DC out when she was around that age, and got her fries at burger king. we don't really eat fast food at home, but it was one time, so who cares. but every day, and instead of the food you've provided? no way.

+1
When my parents visit, they absolutely let my kid have more junk food than we do. Grandparents get to spoil their grandkids, within reason. But they aren't caring for her on a regular basis, and if they were, they wouldn't be feeding her like that. An occasional treat is one thing, but feeding a kid junk all the time is not okay.

PP here. Yep. when they babysit her, they always ask what we want her to have for dinner. It's also easier that way -- we know what she likes.

Grandparents are there to be loving, stable influences on a child NOT to undermine responsible parenting.

Anonymous wrote:Nope. If it were once in a while, fine -- my in-laws took DC out when she was around that age, and got her fries at burger king. we don't really eat fast food at home, but it was one time, so who cares. but every day, and instead of the food you've provided? no way.

+1
When my parents visit, they absolutely let my kid have more junk food than we do. Grandparents get to spoil their grandkids, within reason. But they aren't caring for her on a regular basis, and if they were, they wouldn't be feeding her like that. An occasional treat is one thing, but feeding a kid junk all the time is not okay.

Anonymous wrote:Okay I am not an anti junk food person. The McDonalds as a treat does not really bother me.

Bu5 twinkies and pepsi for a toddler? Nope. Nope. Nope.

You have to draw the line somewhere and it is way before twinkies.

+1
Giving a toddler Pepsi would put me over the edge.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like my diet and I grew up to be slim, perfectly healthy (just had complete blood work done!) and a Division 1 athlete. I’m actually getting McNuggets for lunch. Live a little.

I love you common sense. I really do.

Just want to add, Grandma does what Grandma wants. We have no rules. Don't like it, find another crunchy to sit for you. Kids need pampering. You all sound like mean mothers denying your kids of life's greatest moments.

Eating fast food from early childhood is not common sense. Especially when healthier alternatives are easily available. There is a child obesity epidemic in this country. For every person who turned out fine there are many struggling with lifelong health issues.

Junk food is not pampering. I would not allow any unsupervised visits.

So just because you get something from free from a family member, you should allow them to do what they want with your child?

If the OP posted that her mother watched her kid and let him ride short distances not buckled up, this board would be up in arms. If OP posted that her mother watched her kid and let the kid sit in front of a TV or iPad all day, everyone would be posting studies to share with the mom about the dangers of screen time delaying development. But because it's food related the OP needs to just chill and be grateful she has free care?

Nah. It's your kid. You're not being overbearing. An 18 moth old especially does not need McDonald's, Twinkies, and Pepsi within a 2-day span.

Grandparents spoil in general; it's their thing. But they should still respect your wishes. My parents know that they can treat the kids to ice cream after school or a doughnut, but not every single time they are with them. Make a rule that she can give him one special treat every X amount of time she spends with him. Push the importance of experiences with him vs. giving treats.

My grandma was one to always treat us. My memories of her are of her feeding us. I don't remember any experiences with her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like my diet and I grew up to be slim, perfectly healthy (just had complete blood work done!) and a Division 1 athlete. I’m actually getting McNuggets for lunch. Live a little.

I love you common sense. I really do.

Just want to add, Grandma does what Grandma wants. We have no rules. Don't like it, find another crunchy to sit for you. Kids need pampering. You all sound like mean mothers denying your kids of life's greatest moments.

Are you obese with disordered eating? McDonalds or even food in general is not one of life's greatest moments. That's a really gross and unhealthy way to view food.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like my diet and I grew up to be slim, perfectly healthy (just had complete blood work done!) and a Division 1 athlete. I’m actually getting McNuggets for lunch. Live a little.

I love you common sense. I really do.

Just want to add, Grandma does what Grandma wants. We have no rules. Don't like it, find another crunchy to sit for you. Kids need pampering. You all sound like mean mothers denying your kids of life's greatest moments.

NP, but would not sweat the McD's or the Twinkie, to be honest. Pepsi, though? There is nothing trashier than giving a toddler soda. There is no need to do that

My 18 month old would never eat regular food if I let her have pepsi and twinkies.

I'm not psycho about food but feeding a kid mcdonalds when they already have a healthful lunch they could be eating? Nope. McDonalds is for when you don't have time to cook or you're on a long roadtrip.

Nope. If it were once in a while, fine -- my in-laws took DC out when she was around that age, and got her fries at burger king. we don't really eat fast food at home, but it was one time, so who cares. but every day, and instead of the food you've provided? no way.

Anonymous wrote:
I love you common sense. I really do.

Just want to add, Grandma does what Grandma wants. We have no rules. Don't like it, find another crunchy to sit for you. Kids need pampering. You all sound like mean mothers denying your kids of life's greatest moments.

Have higher standards about what constitutes "life's greatest moments," Grandma. Fast food and soda do not constitute pampering.