Anonymous
Post 03/08/2018 09:41     Subject: Have you received or have you given true unconditional love?
Anonymous wrote:The only people I would ever love unconditionally are my children. It has always struck me as lunacy to love anyone else unconditionally. Why in the world is placing no standards or constraint on love for others a good thing?


I agree. Other relationships require at minimum a modicum of active effort and mutual support. That simply isn't required for a parent toward a child.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2018 09:40     Subject: Have you received or have you given true unconditional love?
Anonymous wrote:Yes for our kids
Yes for our dog
No for H, there are things he could do to make me not love him.


Same. I could fall out of love with H if he were to become cruel, cheat on me, etc. There is literally nothing my kids could do to make me not love them. Same with my dogs.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2018 09:39     Subject: Have you received or have you given true unconditional love?
My love for my kids is the purest, which I suppose means it's the most unconditional.

However, my love for spouse and parents is also unconditional, but more easily damaged.

I hope you never have to find this out, but I discovered that even when my spouse did cheat and do some other things that hurt me, I still loved him. It surprised me. It also made it that much more painful.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2018 08:43     Subject: Have you received or have you given true unconditional love?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have unconditional love for my husband and have felt it towards my dog. The love I have for my kids isn't different than the love I have for my husband


Um ... gross.


PP here. Grow up.

I'm surprised other people don't feel unconditional love towards their husbands. I know he loves me unconditionally as well. He sees my faults and forgives me. When I'm having a rough time (postpartum), he doesn't think bad about me. It's a deep love that's been built. We feel like we're a team raising children for 18 years and then sending them off into the world, but afterwards it will still be DH and I.

I have heard a lot of friends in real life state that they love their kids more than their husbands and I just don't think that's true for me. I believe I love both equally, but DH is it for me.


I feel like I love my dh as much as a love my kids but that isn't the question. The question is about conditionality.

I can't imagine not loving my kids, I can see being disappointed in them and even scenarios where I cut them off but I can't see not loving them.

If my husband cheated on me, hurt our children intentionally or whatever I can see that killing or eroding my love for him.

Right now the love might be equal but I can't say my love for him is unconditional in the same way it would be for my kids.

Exactly this. My husband could do something to make me stop loving him. I don't think he ever would, but the possibility is there. My kids just couldn't. I would love them no matter what. If one turned out to be a serial murderer, I'd still try to help him. Forgiveness? I'm not sure - it's too hard to even imagine such a crazy scenario to know about that. But love, definitely. Always and forever. No matter what.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2018 08:39     Subject: Have you received or have you given true unconditional love?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have unconditional love for my husband and have felt it towards my dog. The love I have for my kids isn't different than the love I have for my husband


Um ... gross.


PP here. Grow up.

I'm surprised other people don't feel unconditional love towards their husbands. I know he loves me unconditionally as well. He sees my faults and forgives me. When I'm having a rough time (postpartum), he doesn't think bad about me. It's a deep love that's been built. We feel like we're a team raising children for 18 years and then sending them off into the world, but afterwards it will still be DH and I.

I have heard a lot of friends in real life state that they love their kids more than their husbands and I just don't think that's true for me. I believe I love both equally, but DH is it for me.


I feel like I love my dh as much as a love my kids but that isn't the question. The question is about conditionality.

I can't imagine not loving my kids, I can see being disappointed in them and even scenarios where I cut them off but I can't see not loving them.

If my husband cheated on me, hurt our children intentionally or whatever I can see that killing or eroding my love for him.

Right now the love might be equal but I can't say my love for him is unconditional in the same way it would be for my kids.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2018 08:37     Subject: Have you received or have you given true unconditional love?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have unconditional love for my husband and have felt it towards my dog. The love I have for my kids isn't different than the love I have for my husband


This is my experience, too. Married 14 years. We have the kind of love that very few people ever experience.

I feel badly for people who say they “never knew how much they could love someone until they had a child.” When I had my first child, there was nothing that surprised me about the depth or the intensity of the love I felt. I will say though, that it surprised me to know that I could love all of my children with equal intensity. When I had my first, I thought there was no way another child could match him.


Yes! When I had my child I fell even deeper in love with my husband. Whole new side to him I'd never seen and I was so proud/in love watching him interact with our kids.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2018 08:35     Subject: Have you received or have you given true unconditional love?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have unconditional love for my husband and have felt it towards my dog. The love I have for my kids isn't different than the love I have for my husband


Um ... gross.


PP here. Grow up.

I'm surprised other people don't feel unconditional love towards their husbands. I know he loves me unconditionally as well. He sees my faults and forgives me. When I'm having a rough time (postpartum), he doesn't think bad about me. It's a deep love that's been built. We feel like we're a team raising children for 18 years and then sending them off into the world, but afterwards it will still be DH and I.

I have heard a lot of friends in real life state that they love their kids more than their husbands and I just don't think that's true for me. I believe I love both equally, but DH is it for me.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2018 08:24     Subject: Have you received or have you given true unconditional love?
Anonymous wrote:I have unconditional love for my husband and have felt it towards my dog. The love I have for my kids isn't different than the love I have for my husband


This is my experience, too. Married 14 years. We have the kind of love that very few people ever experience.

I feel badly for people who say they “never knew how much they could love someone until they had a child.” When I had my first child, there was nothing that surprised me about the depth or the intensity of the love I felt. I will say though, that it surprised me to know that I could love all of my children with equal intensity. When I had my first, I thought there was no way another child could match him.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2018 08:16     Subject: Have you received or have you given true unconditional love?
Anonymous wrote:I have unconditional love for my husband and have felt it towards my dog. The love I have for my kids isn't different than the love I have for my husband


Um ... gross.
Anonymous
Post 03/07/2018 22:29     Subject: Have you received or have you given true unconditional love?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think my kids are the only people I could love no matter what the circumstances, even if they did something totally abhorrent.

Now, I've never *not* loved my parents and my husband...but they've never done anything shitty. I think if they did (husband cheated, abused me/kids, etc.) I wouldn't love them anymore. Knock on wood that it'd never get to that point!


Would you love your kids if they were physically abusive towards you?


NP. yes absolutely
Anonymous
Post 03/07/2018 22:19     Subject: Re:Have you received or have you given true unconditional love?
A lot of confusion between necessity and love. Lay off of the placenta smoothies, please.
Anonymous
Post 03/07/2018 22:09     Subject: Have you received or have you given true unconditional love?
Anonymous wrote:The only people I would ever love unconditionally are my children. It has always struck me as lunacy to love anyone else unconditionally. Why in the world is placing no standards or constraint on love for others a good thing?


It has nothing to do with not having boundaries or standards for others. Trust me, I have cut people out of my life because they did not respect my boundaries nor me.
Anonymous
Post 03/07/2018 21:59     Subject: Have you received or have you given true unconditional love?
The only people I would ever love unconditionally are my children. It has always struck me as lunacy to love anyone else unconditionally. Why in the world is placing no standards or constraint on love for others a good thing?
Anonymous
Post 03/07/2018 21:23     Subject: Have you received or have you given true unconditional love?
Yes, and I have experienced it beyond the love of a child and a family member. You need to learn how to give it without expecting anything in return.
Anonymous
Post 03/07/2018 20:47     Subject: Have you received or have you given true unconditional love?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think my kids are the only people I could love no matter what the circumstances, even if they did something totally abhorrent.

Now, I've never *not* loved my parents and my husband...but they've never done anything shitty. I think if they did (husband cheated, abused me/kids, etc.) I wouldn't love them anymore. Knock on wood that it'd never get to that point!


Would you love your kids if they were physically abusive towards you?


Yes, but not as much. If a toddler is abusing you, that's forgivable because they aren't fully in control of themselves at that age and it's your job to help them learn right from wrong. If a teenager is abusing you, they should know better and there is something wrong with that scenario.