OP, I don't think it matters much whether it fits the definition of cheating or not. The thing that matters is how it would make your husband feel. For example, if you told him and he got upset, I'm pretty sure telling him that it wasn't actually cheating would make him feel any better.

Also, do you have access to DH's Facebook account? If so, just de-friend the guy from DH's account. I doubt your DH will even notice.

Did you send pics? Is this groomsman a loose cannon? Do you believe you will need to interact with him again in the future in person?

If yes to all three, I'd advocate telling DH and dealing with the fallout.

If no to the last two questions, I'd just block the guy and not respond to him again.

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I wouldn't care either way if the situation were flipped, but if you asked me that before this all happened I'd answer differently. I'd be pissed but work through it.

Do you all think this is cheating?

If your husband has a similar temperament and attitude he'll probably feel the same way...pissed but willing to work through it.

Tell him and if the groosman has a wife, tell her too.

I wouldn't tell. And I wouldn't worry this groomsman would reveal anything to your husband. He was trying to go behind his back, so he's not going to say anything -- don't worry. Just quit responding to any texts. Ignore, ignore, ignore. No "thanks", no nothing... It's even your brief responses that's keeping him engaged in this.

Did you know this groomsman before the wedding? If he was a stranger before, you don’t really know who you’re dealing with.

How explicit were the texts? Would you be able to have them read back to you? Photos too?

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I wouldn't care either way if the situation were flipped, but if you asked me that before this all happened I'd answer differently. I'd be pissed but work through it.

Do you all think this is cheating?

Doesn't matter if WE think it's cheating. You know your husband. Would HE think it was cheating? Mine would.

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I wouldn't care either way if the situation were flipped, but if you asked me that before this all happened I'd answer differently. I'd be pissed but work through it.

Do you all think this is cheating?

If you have to ask.....

OP here, I wouldn't care either way if the situation were flipped, but if you asked me that before this all happened I'd answer differently. I'd be pissed but work through it.

Do you all think this is cheating?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Ummm I can block him but I'm worried that will make him angry and he'll message my DH. They are FB friends. You are rude.

Men are generally not as vindictive and vengeful as women. If you ignore the guy completely what will most likely happen is he will lose interest and move on to the next willing lady. Most men aren't looking to start facebook drama.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Flip it.
If it were your husband who flirted/sexted with a bridesmaid would you want him to tell you?

No. I would not. What is the point in that? To make me feel crappy?

No the point is if the situation were reversed and you WOULDN'T want your husband to tell you for reasons X, Y, & Z then why is it so inconceivable that he probably would share the same sentiments and WOULDN'T want you to tell him for those same reasons.

Anonymous wrote:Flip it.
If it were your husband who flirted/sexted with a bridesmaid would you want him to tell you?

No. I would not. What is the point in that? To make me feel crappy?

I would NOT tell him. And I would block this person. If you can’t take that step, though, do not reply st all to his texts. He’s clinging to any reply, however innocent, as hope it can turn into something else. Do you and/or your husband ever see this person? Have you cheated previously?

Flip it.
If it were your husband who flirted/sexted with a bridesmaid would you want him to tell you?