Heck no. Playdates are for playing. I can see not 'micromanaging' social interactions for kids in Middle and High school - but if they are young enough to be having parents arrange playdates for them, then they are too young for screens to play a dominate part of their time together. Kids should be playing - crafts, building stuff, playing outside, make-believe, whatever. Not looking at a screen and sitting.

Anonymous wrote:I let them play video games but after an hour or so it's time to turn them off and play outside. But I don't have a real policy so sometimes it's more screen and sometimes it's less. Most of the times the boys decide what they are playing.

Same at my house. Also it depends on the guest.

We don't have a system right now, but I used to love playing video games with my friends, even as an adult.

Now that dd is older, I think it would be kind of fun to get a system again, and I think that would be fine for playdates.

On the other hand, I don't let them play games on the ipad during playdates because they can't use it at the same time for the games they like and one always feels like they aren't getting their fair share and it turns into grouchiness (7yos)

My 7 year old and one of his friends plays Minecraft occasionally. I limit that time to 1/2 and they have their own time-based system for alternating turns while playing during that time.

I generally do for half of the play date but not the whole thing. Honestly, it is tough - DS has HFA and definitely does have friends, but socially fatigues on play dates, and would probably do better with ones that are an hour or under. But at age 9, nobody does play dates that short. So once about an hour passes, I let them do some electronics to give the situation a break. I am sure some people will say that is why DS is still having trouble carrying longer play dates, but I don't think so.

I have a kindergarten girl, 2nd grade boy, and 4th grade girl. We do not have video games in the house, and therefore no one can play them while having a play date here. It hasn’t been a problem. The girls do a lot of pretend play while my son and his friends build and play other types of games (sports, board games, cards).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. That is playing. That is how they play. I think it's silly to micromanage their time together like that. I don't let my kids play electronics all weekend, but they can use their electronics time with their friends if their friends are over.

Way to let yourself off the hook.

It's not micromanaging them to set a ground rule.

Sorry, I disagree. It is micromanaging to say you may not play in this particular way at this particular time. This is assuming your let your kids play with electronics in the first place. If you love knitting and a friend love knitting and you want to knit together, wouldn't you feel managed if someone said, sorry, no knitting. Or if a friend came over to watch the superbowl and you were told, sorry, no screens. But it's all good. Different parents can have different rules. It will indeed have the chilling effect that OP worries about, but that is just a natural consequence to not letting kids do something together that each would be allowed to do if he was home alone. If you want to restrict screen time, then do that (we do that, too); I just think it's a bit silly to specifically forbid them to do games together.

To all of the electronic naysayers. What happens when your children outgrow toys but have a friend over? You don’t let them play video games?

What's the problem with electronics? It's a freaking playdate. Let them play.

Agree it depends on age, weather, etc. I have a 9 year old boy, and really, playing Wii with friends is one of the ways they play. Most of the games are interactive (e.g., they are trying to find something to defeat the X), so I think it counts as playing. I don't let them just watch videos. I try to limit the video game playing to 30 minutes, or maybe 45.

I never had video games as a kid, but I think my husband played Atari for hours with his friends at that age.

I have girls too, and it seems like less of an issue with the girls. (They sometimes do Wii, but the girls seem to expect it a lot less than the boys do, and have an easier time coming up with other games to play.) I'd like for that not to be a gender difference in play, but I can't really reformulate the whole neighborhood's gender dynamics.

Anonymous wrote:Yes. That is playing. That is how they play. I think it's silly to micromanage their time together like that. I don't let my kids play electronics all weekend, but they can use their electronics time with their friends if their friends are over.

Way to let yourself off the hook.

It's not micromanaging them to set a ground rule.

Yes, I do. No issue with it.

No. I have 7 yo DD. It can be a four-hour playdate, and they will find a lot to do, until they're so exhausted they start to bicker too much at each other, and there ends the playdate.

No, I don't allow electronics during play dates. I have an 8 yo DS.

No, we don’t allow. Play dates are for playing in our house. Other parents can have different rules, and that’s fine.