Dear Midlife Crisis,

Everything your husband says makes complete sense.

Also, not to put too fine a point on it, but people who are desperate to change their appearance usually have an underlying anxiety or depressive disorder *that will come roaring back* after they change their appearance. So you would be putting yourself at risk for nothing.

It's not the sagging. It's coming to terms with your life and your age, that's the real issue here.

BUT.
It's your body.
You have that surgery if you want it!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with DH on this. Elective surgery is stupid, risky, and expensive. He said he likes your boobs!

But she does not! Some of us enjoy and need to feel attractive (not all women I am sure). Go do it!

That points to a need for therapy, not surgery.

Are you ugly beyond repair? If you feel attractive, then why shouldn’t she feel the same? There is nothing she can do about her breast sagging other than surgery so she should donit

He said he likes your boobs!

He didn't exactly say that. He said he's still attracted to me overall and the sagging doesn't particularly bother him. I am fairly sure that his position is that he liked them better the way they used to be, but the current situation isn't a deal-breaker in terms of his attraction to me.

I definitely have zero interest in a divorce or pleasing some other person besides DH and myself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with DH on this. Elective surgery is stupid, risky, and expensive. He said he likes your boobs!

But she does not! Some of us enjoy and need to feel attractive (not all women I am sure). Go do it!

That points to a need for therapy, not surgery.

Really???? What is wrong with this society if everything you feel needs to go theory go a therapist? Are you one and trying to increase your patiens’ List? She does NOT need a therapist because she wants to feel attractive. She needs a boob job.

The risk is not zero. Your kids are too young for you to take that risk. Spend the money on therapy for your self-esteem.

Anonymous wrote:I'm with DH on this. Elective surgery is stupid, risky, and expensive. He said he likes your boobs!

Then her dh shouldn't have boob job!
I've been in your position. Kids ravaged my body and my husband was supportive of having a tummy tuck. Feeling good about yourself is important too!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, you're not being selfish. If it's truly that important to you, your husband should be supportive. Men don't understand the impact having babies has on women.

+1. Stop sleeping with him. Say you feel totally uninterested because of your body image. I bet he'll give in.

Yea, I am sure that would do a lot for her body image issues - rejecting a DH who still is hot for her. What happens to her body image once he takes her rejection to heart and stops showing interest.

Using sex as a weapon always ends badly.

Team DH. (Woman here.)

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree with your DH. 100%.

I came on here thinking you were going to say your DH was pushing you to do it and you didn't want to.
You have a lovely DH who loves you unconditionally. What a prize. Don't be dumb.

This.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, you're not being selfish. If it's truly that important to you, your husband should be supportive. Men don't understand the impact having babies has on women.

+1. Stop sleeping with him. Say you feel totally uninterested because of your body image. I bet he'll give in.

-1 Don't be manipulative.

I have really small boobs and *always* been very self conscious about it. I have thought about getting a boob job, but my DH doesn't think I need one or should get one. He is also afraid that I will lose my sensitivity in that area (which he really likes). Yes, self image is important, but think about the risks and costs, and you have two kids (I have kids too). Money better spent on college savings (for us).

Maybe if you have a lot of money the cost is not as important.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with DH on this. Elective surgery is stupid, risky, and expensive. He said he likes your boobs!

But she does not! Some of us enjoy and need to feel attractive (not all women I am sure). Go do it!

That points to a need for therapy, not surgery.

Totally agree with your DH. 100%.

I came on here thinking you were going to say your DH was pushing you to do it and you didn't want to.

You have a lovely DH who loves you unconditionally. What a prize. Don't be dumb.

Anonymous wrote:I'm with DH on this. Elective surgery is stupid, risky, and expensive. He said he likes your boobs!

But she does not! Some of us enjoy and need to feel attractive (not all women I am sure). Go do it!

I do not have a problem with the cosmetic surgery per se but it is a "selfish" (not necessarily in a negative way) thing to do. I get the feeling good about yourself aspect of it and the self esteem issue. For that reason, I would probably support it, especially if I ended up with a DW with increased libido. I just simply wonder, given past discussions on DCUM, whether women here would feel the same if the DH wanted something like a hair transplant procedure or a penile enlargement procedure. In those cases, women insisted that the men were trying to make themselves attractive to other women.

I'm with DH on this. Elective surgery is stupid, risky, and expensive. He said he likes your boobs!