Yes but he can be a better partner for someone else. Once the trust is broken, it's broken.

If he is consistent with the therapy and medication and he has made improvements, then he is serious about changing. It took a long time to make him the way he is and a year of therapy is a relatively short period of time to make all the changes. Marriage is a commitment, but you can't be in an unsafe environment either.Do you also go to therapy with him? It might be helpful for you too.

It appears to me his current treatment plan is still not working.

Yes, it is nice that the meds have lessened the intensity + frequency of his outbursts, but he needs to do MORE.

He needs to get to the point where his outbursts never occur & you do not have to feel like you are walking on eggshells in his presence.
Your anxiety will cripple you.

He may never be 100% right due to his bad childhood.
You need to make peace w/that.

Or he may find a more effective treatment plan where he is better able to control his temper.

Either/Or.

Until he can totally eradicate his tantrums, it is best if you do not live under the same roof.

Living in limbo must be pure hell.
And you definitely do not deserve this “quality” of life.

Please seek out peace.
Everyone deserves a life filled completely w/it!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He needs to go back into his past and deal with all of it to try and overcome the PTSD. I have it because of emotional trauma as a child. I had to literally tear off layer after layer of my past no matter how much it hurt, to try to get to a place where I could function without using anger. It worked, but it took years. I didn't go to therapy, I did it on my own. Therapy does me no good. I can't open up to anyone. Now I no longer punch walls and break my fingers, I don't go off on my husband over little things, I am controlled with medication for my depression and anxiety, and we have a good marriage. I talk to my husband, my ex-husband, and my adult sons. They are always there to listen. I hope your husband is able to overcome this, OP. I've been there.

Any specific books or techniques that you used that you might be able to recommend to OP or others dealing with the same issues?

This guy has a website mentioned earlier that has a lot of reading material. http://pete-walker.com/fAQsComplexPTSD.html

Anonymous wrote:This is more than emotional abuse. What OP is describing is physical and emotional abuse. He may not ever "hit" OP, but blocking her, slamming things, grabbing her, etc. are all beyond what I would consider emotional abuse.

And if he doesn't do it at work, he is capable of emotionally regulating himself. He just finds it too hard to do it all the time.

My DH is like this and he has gotten a lot better over the years. Now he at least knows when he is about to lose it and he goes into another room and has his tantrum. I don't like it, but as long as he is not anywhere near me or touching me he can deal with his frustration however he wants. I consider it a starting point, and I would rather he not do this at all, but marriages are not perfect equations that will always work out the way you want.

PS some men are like this without any trauma. My DH has never had any significant trauma in his life. His parents just behaved this way, so he picked it up. It is something to think about.

This is more than emotional abuse. What OP is describing is physical and emotional abuse. He may not ever "hit" OP, but blocking her, slamming things, grabbing her, etc. are all beyond what I would consider emotional abuse.

And if he doesn't do it at work, he is capable of emotionally regulating himself. He just finds it too hard to do it all the time.

My DH is like this and he has gotten a lot better over the years. Now he at least knows when he is about to lose it and he goes into another room and has his tantrum. I don't like it, but as long as he is not anywhere near me or touching me he can deal with his frustration however he wants. I consider it a starting point, and I would rather he not do this at all, but marriages are not perfect equations that will always work out the way you want.