Anonymous
02/16/2018 06:28
Subject: Re:Sibling to move out after parents death
Anonymous wrote:OP here, yes the Will divides the house equally to the 4 kids. This older brother has plenty of money to buy his own home although he'd never want to actually buy this family home. To big and probably to expensive for him.
Although he lives with my dad still, he's far from a care giver. If anything he does little to help. I do more and I live miles away. I don't think my 3 other siblings we be money hungry but I think there's a certain amount of frustration that this brother has been living almost scott free in this house for 55 years while the rest of us pay mortgages and property taxes like most adults.
I'm guessing the others will want him out fairly soon after my dads passing. There's a ton of work and cleanup to get the house ready to sell and of course it all falls on me to take care of. At this point I'm thinking of giving him 3 months to move out. As for talking to him about future plans, that makes sense but I know it won't go over well.
If he lives with him, he is doing a heck of a lot,even if he doesn’t bring your father to the doctor and such.
Anonymous
02/16/2018 05:40
Subject: Re:Sibling to move out after parents death
Is it possible your brother has a social/psychological challenge that has prevented him from "living a normal life," which, in our society includes the process of separating from parents geographically to some extent, wanting to be "out on one's own," living with friends and/or significant other, etc. Of course, in our society, it's just so extremely rare (and, to me, of some concern) if an adult, especially by age 55, has never wanted to move away from home and such, if he hasthe practical resources to do so (except in situations of need or perceived need to care for someone remaining at home, poverty, etc.--which, as you mentioned, doesn't seem to be the case here).
I wonder if that--a social or psychological difficulty your brother may be experiencing---is something you and your other siblings might want to consider/look into (if that's even a remote possibility)?
I wonder if that--a social or psychological difficulty your brother may be experiencing---is something you and your other siblings might want to consider/look into (if that's even a remote possibility)?
Anonymous
02/16/2018 05:29
Subject: Sibling to move out after parents death
If you and your siblings can’t reach an agreement on your own, you should get legal advice specific to your area before you proceed. Chances are your brother will have some rights as a tenant and you won’t want to make mistakes because they can be costly to everyone.
Anonymous
02/16/2018 02:39
Subject: Re:Sibling to move out after parents death
OP here, yes the Will divides the house equally to the 4 kids. This older brother has plenty of money to buy his own home although he'd never want to actually buy this family home. To big and probably to expensive for him.
Although he lives with my dad still, he's far from a care giver. If anything he does little to help. I do more and I live miles away. I don't think my 3 other siblings we be money hungry but I think there's a certain amount of frustration that this brother has been living almost scott free in this house for 55 years while the rest of us pay mortgages and property taxes like most adults.
I'm guessing the others will want him out fairly soon after my dads passing. There's a ton of work and cleanup to get the house ready to sell and of course it all falls on me to take care of. At this point I'm thinking of giving him 3 months to move out. As for talking to him about future plans, that makes sense but I know it won't go over well.
Although he lives with my dad still, he's far from a care giver. If anything he does little to help. I do more and I live miles away. I don't think my 3 other siblings we be money hungry but I think there's a certain amount of frustration that this brother has been living almost scott free in this house for 55 years while the rest of us pay mortgages and property taxes like most adults.
I'm guessing the others will want him out fairly soon after my dads passing. There's a ton of work and cleanup to get the house ready to sell and of course it all falls on me to take care of. At this point I'm thinking of giving him 3 months to move out. As for talking to him about future plans, that makes sense but I know it won't go over well.
Anonymous
02/15/2018 23:17
Subject: Sibling to move out after parents death
If he's been taking care of your father, he should get the house!
Anonymous
02/15/2018 23:08
Subject: Re:Sibling to move out after parents death
What's the hurry. Give at least two years. Then sell and divvy up the money. You all are like ghouls.
Anonymous
02/15/2018 23:03
Subject: Sibling to move out after parents death
If the child living in the home did all the care taking, that is far from lazy and they should get at least a year, if not keep the house. Otherwise, you should have stepped up to help.
Anonymous
02/15/2018 23:01
Subject: Re:Sibling to move out after parents death
Anonymous wrote:I would start by just having an open ended conversation with your brother: "What do you see yourself doing after dad passes?" If he says-"I already have my eye on this sweet little condo" or "I'm moving in with my secret lady friend" or "Dad and I talked and he wants me to have the house," then you'll have a better sense of what you're working with
This.
Presumably all your siblings know you are the executor. Honestly, it’s better to have these conversations before someone dies. They’re uncomfortable and unpleasant, so many people don’t which often makes everything more difficult when someone dies.
Anonymous
02/15/2018 22:55
Subject: Sibling to move out after parents death
Anonymous wrote:Here's a strange one. I've got a 55 year old brother who still lives at home but is financially stable enough to buy his own house. My elderly father hasn't much time left and I'll be the one in charge of the estate including selling my deceased parents home when he's gone.
Although I'm in no need of money myself I realize my other siblings haven't done as well and will be looking for the family house to be sold ASAP. What's the proper amount of time to give my brother to move out and buy his own place? I can see this being hard subject to bring up when it happens.
Have you all talked about this? Are you certain they all want it sold immediately? Is hard to think about, but is your father in any condition to have a conversation with your brother about this plan?
Anonymous
02/15/2018 16:41
Subject: Sibling to move out after parents death
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Maybe your dad is planning to leave him the house.
This is probably the case. dad gives brother the house and splits the rest of the estate with the rest of the siblings.
have you given any thought to the fact that maybe dad has already deeded the house over your brother and its no longer part of dads estate?
I'm sure OP knows the contents of the will if he's the executor.
Op
Anonymous
02/15/2018 16:32
Subject: Sibling to move out after parents death
You may want to ask this question again in the real estate forum, OP. Setting aside the question of what's in the will, etc., there may be local and state real estate laws that apply. Your sibling might have tenant rights of some kind.
Agree with the pps that the best thing to do is for you to have upfront conversations with your sibling and parent about what will happen. That's just sooooo much better than leaving you in the position of having to be the bad guy.
Agree with the pps that the best thing to do is for you to have upfront conversations with your sibling and parent about what will happen. That's just sooooo much better than leaving you in the position of having to be the bad guy.
Anonymous
02/15/2018 16:26
Subject: Sibling to move out after parents death
I went through this but it was a lazy grandchild that lived with my Dad. I gave him 60 days to move out. I notified him officially that he had to be out by X date. That created some tension because I went the legal route. I wanted to give my nephew time to find his own place but I also wanted to let him know I was very serious that he needed to be out. No more freeloading off Grandpa.
Anonymous
02/15/2018 14:52
Subject: Re:Sibling to move out after parents death
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I would start by just having an open ended conversation with your brother: "What do you see yourself doing after dad passes?" If he says-"I already have my eye on this sweet little condo" or "I'm moving in with my secret lady friend" or "Dad and I talked and he wants me to have the house," then you'll have a better sense of what you're working with
+1
+1. If he has the finances, the personality type of someone like this (55/still at home) is that he will pay the market rate and stay there. He doesn't sound like he's good with change. Just have the convo while dad is alive. It is a lot less depressing and anxiety producing than after.
Anonymous
02/15/2018 13:25
Subject: Sibling to move out after parents death
My mom's will gives her boyfriend one year to figure it out before I can sell (I'm the executor).
She and I agreed that was fair. He's a good guy.
She and I agreed that was fair. He's a good guy.
Anonymous
02/15/2018 12:59
Subject: Re:Sibling to move out after parents death
Anonymous wrote:I would start by just having an open ended conversation with your brother: "What do you see yourself doing after dad passes?" If he says-"I already have my eye on this sweet little condo" or "I'm moving in with my secret lady friend" or "Dad and I talked and he wants me to have the house," then you'll have a better sense of what you're working with
+1