Anonymous
Post 02/13/2018 16:50     Subject: Re:I want to feel like my husband actually cares
Anonymous wrote:you have a lot a "major" surgery. You sound like you like drama.


Why are you being so mean? I really do hope that you is ailing you.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2018 16:49     Subject: I want to feel like my husband actually cares
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is this a new trend or has he always been this inconsiderate?


Hard to say. We lived such different lives before having a child. Take out food and long hours at work were the norm. Our house was never messy before children. I didn't have any surgeries or need to be taken care of.


Have you ever had these feelings that he doesn't care before?
Ever had a headache and disappointed he forgot to bring home some aspirin?
Ever had a cold and irritated that he didn't cater to you as you'd hoped/expected?
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2018 16:47     Subject: I want to feel like my husband actually cares
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow posters are harsh! Did you thank him for picking you up? Did he leave his job for that? If so that’s very thoughtful! Be appreciative of what you do get not what’s you don’t!


OP here. Thank him for picking me up from the hospital? You can't be serious.


I'm with you OP, it sucks. I had a hysterectomy recently and yes, I "thanked him" for picking me up at the hospital. He did zero help after that. Fortunately my recovery was easy, but I fear to think how it would be for something more serious. When he had he gall bladder out (years ago) I was pretty much his g*damned nursemaid for a week. It sucks to have a spouse that makes you feel pretty much worthless a lot of the time.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2018 16:46     Subject: I want to feel like my husband actually cares
OP, I was with you on the soup thing, but you lost me with your church complaint. Going to church is obviously your choice, yet you think that your husband should do chores while you're there? First thing in the morning on a weekend? Do you think he needs penance for not attending church when you think he should?

Now, if you said the two of you had agreed to do an hour of household chores together every Sunday, and then he sat on the couch the whole time, I'd be more sympathetic.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2018 16:44     Subject: I want to feel like my husband actually cares
Anonymous wrote:Is this a new trend or has he always been this inconsiderate?


Hard to say. We lived such different lives before having a child. Take out food and long hours at work were the norm. Our house was never messy before children. I didn't have any surgeries or need to be taken care of.

Anonymous
Post 02/13/2018 16:40     Subject: I want to feel like my husband actually cares
Is this a new trend or has he always been this inconsiderate?
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2018 16:39     Subject: I want to feel like my husband actually cares
Anonymous wrote:Wow posters are harsh! Did you thank him for picking you up? Did he leave his job for that? If so that’s very thoughtful! Be appreciative of what you do get not what’s you don’t!


OP here. Thank him for picking me up from the hospital? You can't be serious.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2018 16:37     Subject: I want to feel like my husband actually cares
Anonymous wrote:Wow posters are harsh! Did you thank him for picking you up? Did he leave his job for that? If so that’s very thoughtful! Be appreciative of what you do get not what’s you don’t!


This is the craziest response so far, congrats.

OP your husband sounds awful, and I'm sorry for you.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2018 16:32     Subject: I want to feel like my husband actually cares
Wow posters are harsh! Did you thank him for picking you up? Did he leave his job for that? If so that’s very thoughtful! Be appreciative of what you do get not what’s you don’t!
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2018 15:16     Subject: Re:I want to feel like my husband actually cares
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just curious, but if he forgot your soup, why did you not ask him to stop and get it after he picked you up? That's what I would have done. I would also go on strike if my husband sat around and did nothing. If he gets to do nothing, so do I.


op here. I did but he said he had to go back to work. we also had to wait for over an hour for the pain medicine after he picked me up. he went back to panera on the way home from work and somehow managed to order the wrong soup. i'm not supposed to eat anything acidic and he ordered a spicy tomato soup. i told him a million times to bring the broccoli soup. he even ordered broccoli cheddar for him and my son when they were there yesterday. I prepared a lot of soft foods the night before because i thought I was allowed to have solids. we don't eat a lot of ice cream, soups etc so i didn't have anything on hand at home.


PP who suggested you stopped doing things for him... this behavior suggests he's not paying attention and he doesn't care. I wouldn't even leave clean dishes out for him if I were you. Make it REALLY CLEAR you are not his maid, you are his partner.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2018 15:12     Subject: Re:I want to feel like my husband actually cares
Anonymous wrote:Just curious, but if he forgot your soup, why did you not ask him to stop and get it after he picked you up? That's what I would have done. I would also go on strike if my husband sat around and did nothing. If he gets to do nothing, so do I.


op here. I did but he said he had to go back to work. we also had to wait for over an hour for the pain medicine after he picked me up. he went back to panera on the way home from work and somehow managed to order the wrong soup. i'm not supposed to eat anything acidic and he ordered a spicy tomato soup. i told him a million times to bring the broccoli soup. he even ordered broccoli cheddar for him and my son when they were there yesterday. I prepared a lot of soft foods the night before because i thought I was allowed to have solids. we don't eat a lot of ice cream, soups etc so i didn't have anything on hand at home.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2018 15:09     Subject: I want to feel like my husband actually cares
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Don't pout and give him the silent treatment, just stop doing things for him. Don't do his laundry, don't fold his laundry, don't cook for him, etc. If he asks tell him you'll be ready for a marriage when he wants to have one.


Op here. This is a a good idea.


Possibly. Just be prepared that he may call your bluff.

And ? ... If I am going to be alone, I might as well be free to enjoy it.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2018 15:08     Subject: I want to feel like my husband actually cares
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Don't pout and give him the silent treatment, just stop doing things for him. Don't do his laundry, don't fold his laundry, don't cook for him, etc. If he asks tell him you'll be ready for a marriage when he wants to have one.


Op here. This is a a good idea.


I mean, you really shouldn't be doing any of this after major surgery anyway. He needs to step up.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2018 15:06     Subject: I want to feel like my husband actually cares
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Don't pout and give him the silent treatment, just stop doing things for him. Don't do his laundry, don't fold his laundry, don't cook for him, etc. If he asks tell him you'll be ready for a marriage when he wants to have one.


Op here. This is a a good idea.


Possibly. Just be prepared that he may call your bluff.
Anonymous
Post 02/13/2018 15:06     Subject: Re:I want to feel like my husband actually cares
Anonymous wrote:What - you can't pick up the phone and schedule Postmates or AmazonFresh deliveries?


Some how this is reasonable but expecting a full grown man to remember a simple soup order is less so? When he was already at the damn restaurant...