Yeah, I definitely was very visible until I after I had my second kid in my late 30s. I am too tired to give a crap. I've started focusing on being a better person, for my family and professionally. I'm just not an insecure kid anymore who needs the attention. When people talk to me, it's because I have something interesting to say. Not because they want to f me. I like that.

I am fit but a plain jane - I am friendly, but sexy - no way. That said, I have been hit on and approached by random men more in my late 40s and early 50s than ever before. There have been all sorts of weird things - a guy at Whole Foods walked right up to me and said "you are a beautiful woman - I just wanted to tell you that". Awkward and embarrassing - but I've had a few incidents like that. A few weeks ago a guy asked my husband at a party if I was his girlfriend (which we both found hilarious after 25 years of marriage and both wearing rings). Who knew?

I'm over 60 and I got home tonight after having my hair cut about an inch or so. My DH asked "did you get your hair cut" and I said yes and he said it looks great. I may be invisible to many but I only really care about one.

I feel very visible and important in many people lives and it has nothing to do with looks. I've never had the need to have my looks stop someone in their tracks. At the same time I do try to look good and I love a compliment just like everyone else. I'm very lucky to be married to a man who never needs to be forced into making a compliment.

Yes, invisible or worse, an intrusion or nuisance unless I'm whipping up a gourmet meal or planning a fun social event.

Many of us are 'invisible" at work because we are not petite or female, or fit a certain idea of "normal," and thus can't use our looks to move up the ladder. I always suspected there were many of the cute, perky, young, slim, boobed, or butted, who move up and around.

That being said, you will be fine as you discover new ways to be attractive, to be professional, more refined, and even sexy. The most attractive women that I've ever seen, were always most beautiful on the inside...

When you consider all the pigs out there (Lauer, Rose, Weinstein etc etc) being invisible is fine by me. I'm definitely not invisible to my DH and that's all I care about. The idea of being mentally undressed by some perv is not on my bucket list. Being physically undressed by my DH is fun.

When I glam it up a bit I don't feel invisible at all even to men 10 years younger - I'm 55. But in the course of a normal looking day even construction workers don't look at me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There was a great episode on 6 feet under where the mom and her friend (50s I suppose) go shop lifting because they are so invisible. I think of that whenever I feel down about no one noticing me... it has some advantages if you think about it!

Ruth and Bettina? Those ladies are in their mid to late 60's actually.

I have done this, no one notices 50+ women unless they are crazy looking or really tall. I get passed over at the deli counter on a frequent basis.

Anonymous wrote:Hm. Fat black woman here. Not sure I was ever on anyone's radar to begin with so can't relate but I can imagine there would be some loss felt at not getting attention in the way you have always received it without little to no effort.

Also, you may beso focused on the men who "don't see you" that you miss the men who do.

Love this!

Hmm. I feel like I have become invisible to random guys who might hit on me, but not invisible overall. I am not rich, but am well respected professionally, and people in my field care what I have to say about topics in my field, and seek out my opinion on it.

Loved "fat black woman's" take. Also, OP, I 100% relate. I don't miss the attention exactly, but notice my powers of influence are from different things now. But I also plan to increase my self-care. I feel so much better about myself when I dress with a little thought and care.

Anonymous wrote:There was a great episode on 6 feet under where the mom and her friend (50s I suppose) go shop lifting because they are so invisible. I think of that whenever I feel down about no one noticing me... it has some advantages if you think about it!

Ruth and Bettina? Those ladies are in their mid to late 60's actually.

I am ugly and overweight and I think this is one of the only advantages (not having that depressing feeling of lost beauty/invisibility).

*with