You have at least 2 issues besides the candy:

1) You have a resentment for your MIL's obesity and her ability to function. You sound like her disability from her obesity annoys you. You sound like you might be afraid that she is teaching your children her poor eating habits.

2) You sound like you resent that she is spoiling your children and you have to play "bad mommy" to her "fun grandma" role.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for the validation. I will ask her to stop. I really didn’t think I was going to get that response.

Unfortunately we work from home so there is no break room to leave it!

Send it to your local primary school or middle school. Teachers use candy for rewards all the time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
"Hello MIL, from now on we have decided to stop the candy train. Thank you so much for sending candy in the past. Please don't send any more."

"Hello MIL, thank you for the candy we received today. I got rid of it, since I told you we were not accepting candy anymore. I appreciate the thought, however."

"Hmm, what candy? Oh, I don't open your packages anymore now. They go straight in the trash."

And then she'll get it.

OP doesn't need to be cruel. The MIL is trying desperately to shower love on her grandchildren. There's a better way to handles this then "they go straight in the trash."

The last line was for fun, don't worry.

But seriously, 10lbs of candy is crazy. I would not hesitate to be very direct, at the cost of hurting her feelings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
"Hello MIL, from now on we have decided to stop the candy train. Thank you so much for sending candy in the past. Please don't send any more."

"Hello MIL, thank you for the candy we received today. I got rid of it, since I told you we were not accepting candy anymore. I appreciate the thought, however."

"Hmm, what candy? Oh, I don't open your packages anymore now. They go straight in the trash."

And then she'll get it.

OP doesn't need to be cruel. The MIL is trying desperately to shower love on her grandchildren. There's a better way to handles this then "they go straight in the trash."

Jesus, there is no need for OP to be awful to the mother in law. Just act like an adult human who was not raised by wolves and say thank you and then toss it if you must. Unless of course you like creating drama and hurting vulnerable people.

Have your husband talk to her about dialing it down--not no candy, just one box each or something reasonable. Have her say that you guys enjoy picking out holiday outfits, so please not to send those.

Why is this so hard?

Anonymous wrote:Say thank you, allow your kids to choose one candy (or you choose it for them. Bring the rest to work. Don't create drama when you don't need to.

This is the best way to handle it. But you appear to be a really, really ugly person who wants to create drama, so I'm sure you'll do the opposite. Go back and re-read your post, OP. Who talks like that about their MIL?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for the validation. I will ask her to stop. I really didn’t think I was going to get that response.

Unfortunately we work from home so there is no break room to leave it!

You really read into all these responses what you want huh?

Most posters are not validating you but telling you not to be an ahole about something so minor and easily dealt with in a compassionate/non confrontational manner.

Say thank you, allow your kids to choose one candy (or you choose it for them. Bring the rest to work. Don't create drama when you don't need to.

Donate the candy you don't want to a food pantry. Their kids may want treats for the holiday. No need to throw it away.

Toss it, bring to your local nursing home, have DH bring it to work... That is what we do. My coworkers never wanted it, but DH’s loved it.

I would be really annoyed with this too - it's just wasteful at the end of the day. There's probably a good balance for giving her room to make the gestures she wants to make but not giving you more crap to deal with. I think I might tell her that the dentist told you that you need to give the kids less candy, but your kids love getting letters from MIL (or small toys or something tangible if she insists). SO you can steer her in a more productive direction for the kids to actually enjoy what she's sending. Small books or cards or pencils even?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for the validation. I will ask her to stop. I really didn’t think I was going to get that response.

Unfortunately we work from home so there is no break room to leave it!

Do you have a senior center or nursing home or even a fire department near by? I feel like her intentions are very good and I have a feeling you don't want to hurt her feelings. You could ask her nicely and hopefully she will respond or you could just immediately get the candy out of your house.

What a great idea! Or you can package it all and send it to me.

Anonymous wrote:The candy is annoying. The other stuff is fine. Just give the candy away or freeze it and hand it out in tiny portions. I mean, honestly...this is not something to get bent out of shape about.

+1. You’ll be the office hero if you bring it into work. This is a problem you’re creating for yourself. It makes her happy to think she’s spoiling them, so just humor her.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for the validation. I will ask her to stop. I really didn’t think I was going to get that response.

Unfortunately we work from home so there is no break room to leave it!

Do you have a senior center or nursing home or even a fire department near by? I feel like her intentions are very good and I have a feeling you don't want to hurt her feelings. You could ask her nicely and hopefully she will respond or you could just immediately get the candy out of your house.

"Thanks for the candy- the kids loved using it with the Valentines cards they gave out to their classes!"