Anonymous wrote:I just turned 33 and recently ended a 1.5 year relationship. He broke it off. I am a currently work 80+ hours a week. I am a little terrified I will end up 40 and still single. How do I look for a husband while working 80+ hours a week? My ex-boyfriend is a colleague, and majority of the people I work with are already married or have major deal breakers. My biggest caveat is I still undecided if I want children.

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn’t you want to have at least one child?

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I want to get married. I might have kids later on but I’m too unsure to yes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn’t you want to have at least one child?

Huge repsonsility and major life change, less focus on my career, lack of sleep, strain it puts on many marriages, worry of caring for another human life, etc. I’ve always been very nurturing but I don’t know if I have what it takes to be a mom. I feel a child will be more of a career ender than a gift at this point. I may change my mind, but the thought of having children right now is very overwhelming and dreadful.

Basically the OP as well but I'm 32. I also work long hours however I also have a 7-figure income level, more than worth the trade off.

My answer to this -

- I like my lifestyle - traveling when I want, staying in the best resorts, enjoying splurges
- I hate mess, my penthouse looks like a magazine cover
- I'm mostly an introvert and can't imagine being around someone or several someones with no 'down' time
- I have no interest in moving to the suburbs or a suburban area where the best schools are
- I like having a serious amount of disposable income and 529s, daycare, college tuition, and general kid care would not be amenable to that
- I enjoy sleep

The last one is really important. I didn't come to this conclusion without actually doing some research. I had one of my girlfriend's stay over with her 8-month old for 5 days and 5 nights. During that time the kid would not sleep unless he was moving, she had to either be walking him, pacing with him, driving, or put him in a stroller and hoofing it. If he wasn't crying about sleep or fussing for attention, it was nursing. Sure that's only 12 months roughly of day-and-night attention but its not like toddlers are any easier. Or tweens are better once they can run around the house or teens don't have attitudes.

I like my life. I don't want to mess it up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn’t you want to have at least one child?

Huge repsonsility and major life change, less focus on my career, lack of sleep, strain it puts on many marriages, worry of caring for another human life, etc. I’ve always been very nurturing but I don’t know if I have what it takes to be a mom. I feel a child will be more of a career ender than a gift at this point. I may change my mind, but the thought of having children right now is very overwhelming and dreadful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I divorced at 34 and didn’t have, and don’t want, kids. I had zero trouble whatsoever finding dates and eventually the man who would become my awesome DH—but, while I have a great job, I work 40 hours a week (only occasionally more), have interesting and fun hobbies (where I meet a lot of people, hint hint), and know how to relax and have fun.

I would not have considered dating someone who was so very job-centric with no other interests or down time.

Op here. I want to get married. I might have kids later on but I’m too unsure to yes. I do have plenty of hobbies outside of work. I love to workout, go out for drinks, go to baseball games, travel, try new restaurants, etc. Wanting to one day become a doctor requires crazy residency hours, which leaves little time for other things. That’s the career I chose, but it won’t always be these crazy hours. If you met a resident doctor, you wouldn’t date him because of he works too much?

Anonymous wrote:I divorced at 34 and didn’t have, and don’t want, kids. I had zero trouble whatsoever finding dates and eventually the man who would become my awesome DH—but, while I have a great job, I work 40 hours a week (only occasionally more), have interesting and fun hobbies (where I meet a lot of people, hint hint), and know how to relax and have fun.

I would not have considered dating someone who was so very job-centric with no other interests or down time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn’t you want to have at least one child?

Huge repsonsility and major life change, less focus on my career, lack of sleep, strain it puts on many marriages, worry of caring for another human life, etc. I’ve always been very nurturing but I don’t know if I have what it takes to be a mom. I feel a child will be more of a career ender than a gift at this point. I may change my mind, but the thought of having children right now is very overwhelming and dreadful.

Career ender?! Lady, you need to step back from your job a bit and get perspective.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn’t you want to have at least one child?

Huge repsonsility and major life change, less focus on my career, lack of sleep, strain it puts on many marriages, worry of caring for another human life, etc. I’ve always been very nurturing but I don’t know if I have what it takes to be a mom. I feel a child will be more of a career ender than a gift at this point. I may change my mind, but the thought of having children right now is very overwhelming and dreadful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn’t you want to have at least one child?

Huge repsonsility and major life change, less focus on my career, lack of sleep, strain it puts on many marriages, worry of caring for another human life, etc. I’ve always been very nurturing but I don’t know if I have what it takes to be a mom. I feel a child will be more of a career ender than a gift at this point. I may change my mind, but the thought of having children right now is very overwhelming and dreadful.

This is the reason my ex-boyfriend broke it often. He was certain he wanted to have children, and my uncertainty lead him to reconsider marrying me. I’m thinking of doing online dating and putting it on my profile that I don’t want kids. Maybe it will attract men who are unsure themselves or decided they don’t want children. I know my pool is limited because I am almost 50% positive I don’t want children. If I did, maybe not until 38+.