Anonymous wrote:I don't believe in 50/50 custody. A child needs one home base. They can't go back and forth all the time.

But it’s not like your beliefs are valid.

Anonymous wrote:If most dads were completely honest, they do 50/50 to try to avoid child support.

If most moms were completely honest, they ask for more custody to try and get more child support.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He wants to pay less child support.

And she wants more.!

+1000

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He wants to pay less child support.

And she wants more.!

+1000

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He wants to pay less child support.

And she wants more.!

+1000

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He wants to pay less child support.

And she wants more.!

+1000

Anonymous wrote:He wants to pay less child support.

And she wants more.!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think i'd gut it out so my ex wasn't forced overseas. What is going to happen to his visa once you divorce is finalized? No way would I want my kids to be separated from their dad like that.

I'm not OP, but-- What do you mean by "gut it out"? Do you mean OP should "stick it out" and not finalize the divorce? So she should remain legally married to him just so he gets to stay in the U.S.? It's on the ex to figure out his own visa issues now. Please go back and read: He had very little interest in his kid until he suddenly wanted a major alteration to custody out of the blue, and the issue may be keeping his money as much as wanting to see his child. Sure, maybe he had a genuine change of heart about seeing his kid and is totally sincere but that's still not a reason for OP to stay legally tied to him either.

That is solely OP's opinion. Also, OP wanted sole custody. The dad doesnt sound unreliable here. I'm the PP and initially thought that my ex didn't really care about visitation either and I've come to realize that I was wrong over the years. It's hard to be objective when you're still processing the hurt over the demise of the relationship. OP and her ex should be careful about how visitation and custody are handled right now because it will have profound consequences either way. This child could end up growing up without a father (if he moves) or with a strong relationship with dad and regular contact with both parents. That's a big effing deal.

Anonymous wrote:I think i'd gut it out so my ex wasn't forced overseas. What is going to happen to his visa once you divorce is finalized? No way would I want my kids to be separated from their dad like that.

Agreed. I think you're missing the forest for the trees here.

To add some perspective here, DD didnt have an overnight with dad until she was nearly 4. It changed to 2 nights a week at that point. He was responsible for pickup from daycare and then she returned home with me. You filed for child support without warning, so I can understand why he doesn't trust you.

If most dads were completely honest, they do 50/50 to try to avoid child support.

Anonymous wrote:I don't believe in 50/50 custody. A child needs one home base. They can't go back and forth all the time.

You're right about this. Doesn't and hasn't worked for the kids at all age levels.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't believe in 50/50 custody. A child needs one home base. They can't go back and forth all the time.

Thank goodness the courts don't agree with you.

Thank goodness my ex does, so we can do what we both feel is best for our kids.

FYI, your lawyer was smart insisting tbat you file. gaining jurisdiction means that your case will be subject to resolution by US law instead of the law of the country you and/or DH came from. Mediating would have given your DH time to see the shape of a potential settlement and decide whether to evade it by leaving the country and filing suit in his home country.

He can still leave and try to evade custody/support, but it's better that you filed while he is still here.

Anonymous wrote:I think i'd gut it out so my ex wasn't forced overseas. What is going to happen to his visa once you divorce is finalized? No way would I want my kids to be separated from their dad like that.

I'm not OP, but-- What do you mean by "gut it out"? Do you mean OP should "stick it out" and not finalize the divorce? So she should remain legally married to him just so he gets to stay in the U.S.? It's on the ex to figure out his own visa issues now. Please go back and read: He had very little interest in his kid until he suddenly wanted a major alteration to custody out of the blue, and the issue may be keeping his money as much as wanting to see his child. Sure, maybe he had a genuine change of heart about seeing his kid and is totally sincere but that's still not a reason for OP to stay legally tied to him either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can notify the state department not to issue a passport to your child unless both parents consent. They put a note in their system about this. It's to prevent children being taken back to one parent's home country.

I thought both parents had to be physically present (or get notarized consent from absent parent) to even get a passport?

This is true. Does the kid already have a passport?