Anonymous wrote:OP, his behavior reminds me of my father's, and that story has a rather sad ending. DH needs counseling.
Anonymous wrote:OP, did you give him any reason to mistrust you? Had an affair?
If you were a DH posting about your DW's insecurities, I suspect lots of responses would ask that question.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP you need to insist that he get help. He will absolutely resist because the notion of getting help will make his anxiety even worse but you will need to insist. You can try the nice "honey I love you so much" thing but frankly that won't do it. You are going to have to threaten him and threaten him hard. I've been there, there is zero way he will do it if you don't get very harsh because he will fight you as if he's drowning.
Take control and do it today.
I don't know. It sounds like he's OK with asking for help. He might be receptive to this suggestion. His behavior sounds like a "performance" to me.
Anonymous wrote:OP you need to insist that he get help. He will absolutely resist because the notion of getting help will make his anxiety even worse but you will need to insist. You can try the nice "honey I love you so much" thing but frankly that won't do it. You are going to have to threaten him and threaten him hard. I've been there, there is zero way he will do it if you don't get very harsh because he will fight you as if he's drowning.
Take control and do it today.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This has been an ongoing problem with my DH. Every night after we put the kids to bed, he finds a way to start a meaningless argument with me for attention. Then he starts with “You don’t love me?” “Am I fat?” “No one loves me” “All you care about us yourself!” “Cant you cuddle with me!” He must ask me 5x a day if I love him or if I think he is fat. The last couple months he’s had a bad cough and post nasal drip but refuses to do netti pot, make a ctor appt or take the Flonase I bought him. He tells me every night that I don’t know what it’s like to be him and that I don’t care that he’s sick. Then he says things like he thinks he has cancer or thinks he’s having a heart attack. If I don’t act immediately concerned or worried he says I don’t love him and wish he was dead!!! He’s spent the last 3 hours talking about himself while I was trying to wind down and read a book. (He also hates when I read because he says it’s rude to him). What the heck can I do about this!? I do love him but the constant neediness and insecurity is honestly very annoying.
Either you really arent making him feel wanted or he is just a mess. Maybe both, i cant comprehend that type of person whining. How old is he? It amazings me how many guys I see, especially in the 20-35 range are complete p*55@ies.
Could be both! He’s 42.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This has been an ongoing problem with my DH. Every night after we put the kids to bed, he finds a way to start a meaningless argument with me for attention. Then he starts with “You don’t love me?” “Am I fat?” “No one loves me” “All you care about us yourself!” “Cant you cuddle with me!” He must ask me 5x a day if I love him or if I think he is fat. The last couple months he’s had a bad cough and post nasal drip but refuses to do netti pot, make a ctor appt or take the Flonase I bought him. He tells me every night that I don’t know what it’s like to be him and that I don’t care that he’s sick. Then he says things like he thinks he has cancer or thinks he’s having a heart attack. If I don’t act immediately concerned or worried he says I don’t love him and wish he was dead!!! He’s spent the last 3 hours talking about himself while I was trying to wind down and read a book. (He also hates when I read because he says it’s rude to him). What the heck can I do about this!? I do love him but the constant neediness and insecurity is honestly very annoying.
Either you really arent making him feel wanted or he is just a mess. Maybe both, i cant comprehend that type of person whining. How old is he? It amazings me how many guys I see, especially in the 20-35 range are complete p*55@ies.
Anonymous wrote:This has been an ongoing problem with my DH. Every night after we put the kids to bed, he finds a way to start a meaningless argument with me for attention. Then he starts with “You don’t love me?” “Am I fat?” “No one loves me” “All you care about us yourself!” “Cant you cuddle with me!” He must ask me 5x a day if I love him or if I think he is fat. The last couple months he’s had a bad cough and post nasal drip but refuses to do netti pot, make a ctor appt or take the Flonase I bought him. He tells me every night that I don’t know what it’s like to be him and that I don’t care that he’s sick. Then he says things like he thinks he has cancer or thinks he’s having a heart attack. If I don’t act immediately concerned or worried he says I don’t love him and wish he was dead!!! He’s spent the last 3 hours talking about himself while I was trying to wind down and read a book. (He also hates when I read because he says it’s rude to him). What the heck can I do about this!? I do love him but the constant neediness and insecurity is honestly very annoying.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He sounds like he may have anxiety. His thoughts are repeating and gettin stuck.
He needs to see someone to have his mental health assessed. As hard as it is for you to hear him express his thoughts. think how it is for him living with these thoughts in his head 24/7.
His insecurities are not that uncommon but less typical for men. Often that degree of perseverating and need for reassurance is a sign of pretty intense anxiety.
+1 This is anxiety, OP, with possible OCD - and he’s relying on you to soothe him again and again. He needs treatment.