The main thing is to have a talk with her. Daughter you don't want to ever put anything in writing (text) or a picture that you wouldn't want your pastor, Rabbi, etc to see.

Explain the dangers of the internet, that pictures never go away, that this can have legal and long term issues.

But that's what you need to talk about - todays technology.

Not all that long ago - 30 year when I was 14 - I used to talk to a few of my 14 year old girl friends on the phone at night. We would be up to all hours talking dirty to each other on the phone. We didn't have a cell phone. We just had their parents drop them off to hang out. (I made sure to set it up when I knew my parents were going out).

Girl came over, my parents went out. And as soon as they were gone we would've sex. 14 year olds do that.

So don't focus on the sex. (get Birth control).

Focus on the internet.

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one thinking you need to have a talk with your daughter rather than treating her like a child and taking things away? Ask her how she would feel if the people she has been sexting with make photos public and all her friends would see them. Explain that nothing online is truly private and once a photo is on the internet it will never go away.

She IS a child, idiot. And an incredibly dumb, immature one at that.

Anonymous wrote:OP, obviously you have a lot of stuff going on with her. Sexting at 14 is unusual behavior. I suspect it's not the only troubling thing she does.

You need a global approach for dealing with her. This isn't about a phone, this is about a child exhibiting very troubling behavior that is quite dangerous. I would advise you not to get caught up in nonsense details like what kind of phone she has and look at the bigger picture.

She needs help. You have 4 years to get it under control and then you can't make her do Jack shit. Four years sounds like a long time, everyone on here will tell you is a blink.

Get her help. Get her help.

You're right she needs help. You're wrong that it's atypical behavior. Welcome to 2018 (or 2015 really).

OP, obviously you have a lot of stuff going on with her. Sexting at 14 is unusual behavior. I suspect it's not the only troubling thing she does.

You need a global approach for dealing with her. This isn't about a phone, this is about a child exhibiting very troubling behavior that is quite dangerous. I would advise you not to get caught up in nonsense details like what kind of phone she has and look at the bigger picture.

She needs help. You have 4 years to get it under control and then you can't make her do Jack shit. Four years sounds like a long time, everyone on here will tell you is a blink.

Get her help. Get her help.

Anonymous wrote:You can trust nothing out of her mouth, OP.
She needs drastic measures at this point.
Meet with her teachers to find out how she's doing
(and behaving) in school.

And you know this how, having never met this girl? Take it down a notch.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a tough one OP.

You need to put her on birth control asap. Then haul her butt in for a full battery of STD testing. Take her bedroom door off. Password protect your wi-fi, or change the current password.

final step is to order a bunch of brochures for boarding schools and leave them around for her to see them.

Boarding school, where I’ll have no parental supervision at all? Sign me up!

At least her parents won't have to witness it. Seriously, though, op needs to get dd std tested and on birth control. She is likely sexually active and I don't think op can get that tiger back in the cage.

Anonymous wrote:This is a tough one OP.

You need to put her on birth control asap. Then haul her butt in for a full battery of STD testing. Take her bedroom door off. Password protect your wi-fi, or change the current password.

final step is to order a bunch of brochures for boarding schools and leave them around for her to see them.

Boarding school, where I’ll have no parental supervision at all? Sign me up!

This is a tough one OP.

You need to put her on birth control asap. Then haul her butt in for a full battery of STD testing. Take her bedroom door off. Password protect your wi-fi, or change the current password.

final step is to order a bunch of brochures for boarding schools and leave them around for her to see them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am at a loss as what to do.
This is not the first time she was caught. I had doubts so I replaced her iphone with a watered down version of android phone. A few weeks later she started using ipad/ipod without our permission. I removed all iOS devices from our home and then she asked her friend for her spare old iphone without our knowledge/permission and was using that to facetime.
We failed at parenting her.

I haven't told this to my husband as he will be really heartbroken.
I maybe sounding overly dramatic but I am so disappointed. Just wanted to get this off my chest.

Why does she still have a phone?

+ 1 million

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one thinking you need to have a talk with your daughter rather than treating her like a child and taking things away? Ask her how she would feel if the people she has been sexting with make photos public and all her friends would see them. Explain that nothing online is truly private and once a photo is on the internet it will never go away.

You think she doesn’t know this? Everyone knows this. I’m sure one of her friends, if not the daughter personally, has had SOMETHING screenshotted before. Get a clue.

The fact that you don’t want to involve her FATHER and the fact that she even still has a phone tell me all I need to know about your parenting. Sounds like “trying to talk to her” and making excuses or giving her ours has blown up in your face. She needs punishment, consequences, and discipline. She’s clearly not afraid of you, of getting punished, or getting caught. I know the liberal losers will say “but OMG!!!! Your child should never fear you!!!” But THIS is what happens when there is no fear of God in a teenager.

Maybe this can be a lesson to others.

Am I the only one thinking you need to have a talk with your daughter rather than treating her like a child and taking things away? Ask her how she would feel if the people she has been sexting with make photos public and all her friends would see them. Explain that nothing online is truly private and once a photo is on the internet it will never go away.

Tell your husband


Second, change the wifi pw

And lastly she prob sent nudes thru snap

Yeah, you failed cuz you allowed her to have so much access to technology.

^^

Excuse me, your DH will be "heartbroken." He'll live.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:she can't use an old iphone without being on someone's plan. Plans need to be paid for, and have user agreements. Whose paying for her plan?

Oh, and show her this:

https://www.aclu.org/blog/juvenile-justice/minnesota-prosecutor-charges-sexting-teenage-girl-child-pornography

She is either using her SIM card from her android phone or connecting to wifi just like an ipod would. I haven't looked thoroughly into it yet as I found out just two days ago.

Thanks for the article. I am gathering some news stories about laws regarding sexting as well as dangers associated with this behavior. Not sure though if it will help her understand.

Your mistake is trying to make her understand. Teens are stupid and no logic will reach her. Read Yes Your Teen is Crazy.

She needs protection from herself. Do whatever you have to do to figure out why she is seeking this type of attention. Get some therapy.

+1

And for Pete's sake, bring your DH into this. So what if he is "disappointed;" this is his daughter headed down the wrong track and he needs to know about it. Sounds like you both need to Parent Up.

If this were my kid, the phone would be long gone.