OP here. No excuses for myself. I do feel dumb, scared, and cornered with the situation, though the answer is right here in my face.
To answer at least couple of questions. I'm foreign, I came to the US 10 years ago.
We are not married.
He didn't want a child until I got pregnant, I was sick the whole term, he was helping morally, was sweet and supportive, cooking for me in the middle of the night.
He didn't want to move in, stating that " it never turns out well" I insisted, since we were having a baby.
He is a personal trainer/ bartender. I know, that's not a real job.

where is the "Oh Honey" poster?

This guy does not want to change, he is "happy" with the status quo. He is 'content' with you supporting him. Has he ever had a stable job before? Is he capable of supporting himself and a family?

Honestly, I would cut your losses now and leave. Sounds like you have a supportive Mom, can you live with her for a bit until you figure out your next move?

I wouldn't waste any more time on this guy. Not one more second.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You both sound very young. It's hard to believe people in their 30s and 40s don't have their shit together yet. I know many people fit into that category and it baffles me every time.

Helpful how?

Grow up, get your shit together, and kick him out. Don't make babies with losers. Don't engage in a relationship with a 40-something man child. Set higher standards.

Anonymous wrote:You both sound very young. It's hard to believe people in their 30s and 40s don't have their shit together yet. I know many people fit into that category and it baffles me every time.

Helpful how?

Dump him before you get knocked up again.

You both sound very young. It's hard to believe people in their 30s and 40s don't have their shit together yet. I know many people fit into that category and it baffles me every time.

Anonymous wrote:Why would you ever date, move in with, or have a baby with someone like this? Sorry, that’s all I’ve got. Good luck.

These posts are inevitable, but make me so, so mad. Abuse increases over time. By the time the baby comes along, the person being abused is so beaten down and used to being called crazy that they doubt their own perception of the situation.

Please, educate yourself.

Anonymous wrote:Are you.married?

See a lawyer. He could file for child support. Regardless you need to end this. He is a user and loser.

Please, please, please leave him before you really have to pay for child support AND alimony. Seriously. This is what happened to me. My boyfriend was great....when he was a boyfriend. After kids and marriage, he lost his job, couldn't find another (more accurately, no jobs were up to his standard) and just did what he liked (his hobbies). I waited about 6 years. When I finally got enough courage to leave, he claimed he was the SAHP and needed alimony until he could find a job. He got it!!!! for 2 years!!! Ugh, it was salt in the wound (I also found out he was cheating on me - a brief fling that lasted about 6 months about a year after he lost his job) so GET OUT NOW!!!!

Yuck.

DTMFA

What's your question?

He sounds like a waste of space & an absolute loser to me.

He is taking full advantage of you supporting him and has no incentive to even search for a job.

He does NOTHING at all for you.
You are so much better off on your own, all alone.

It’s a New Year OP.
Make a fresh start + make a clean break from this man.

He is bringing you down.

Are you.married?

See a lawyer. He could file for child support. Regardless you need to end this. He is a user and loser.

Why are you still with him? You and your child deserve better.