Anonymous wrote:DH needs to work harder. As a parent, he has the awesome responsibility of showing his daughter how a man should treat her. She needs to know with certainty that her dad thinks she is the most wonderful daughter in the world. This will make her strong. Tell DH to be patient, your DD is a soon to be teen (hormonal mess).

OMG yes this. My dad was so wonderful to me, and I'm sure I was a total snot right back. However, he was always always so proud of me, thought I was beautiful and amazing and capable of ANYTHING - I was the only girl in school that had no body image issues, and I really think its because of how my dad treated me.

So he proposes taking DD for a walk - what types of outings does he do with DS? Does he take DS for walks, and other lame outings (and DS is just easy going and does it?), or does he take DS on "fun" outings? If DS is going on fun outings, and DD is just getting invited on boring ones, then that could be part of the problem. (I'm sure DD is also a dramatic tween, because tweens have a tendency do be that way)

DH needs to work harder. As a parent, he has the awesome responsibility of showing his daughter how a man should treat her. She needs to know with certainty that her dad thinks she is the most wonderful daughter in the world. This will make her strong. Tell DH to be patient, your DD is a soon to be teen (hormonal mess).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does DH care that DD feels this way?

+1

Can't your DH find another activity, for example, to do with his DD (I agree, taking a walk sounds lame) such as a fro-yo outing or go see a movie (maybe you can make a suggestion).

Did you talk with your DH and let him know that from DD's (limited) point of view this is how she perceives things?

+1. Or combine the activity. Grab some froyo and walk around the mall or ideally outside when the weather improves. Most likely one of the reasons she doesn't like physical activity is because he'll make fun of her.

They need to meet each other half way. She needs to go on some of those lame walks, and he needs to do something she likes to do. This is the nature of any relationship. It's far easier when both parties have the same interest. To be frank, I wish my mom had insisted I do some of the boring shit my dad wanted to do (golf, anyone?) to help our relationship.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a manipulative tween. Don't feed her snarkiness.

I have to agree a bit here. Lots of talk about what he can do better (and yes, he probably can bend a bit more to her interests), but what about her? Did you point out that her defiance and stubborness are alienating? Does she recognize the times when he reaches out she chooses not to be with him? She needs to recognize that her behavior is part of this as well. Would defiance and laziness endear her to friends? Probably not, and frankly parents are not really all that different. No one likes to be rejected and treated badly - even if they are your father. Tell her to look inward.