My boyfriend who promised me the moon walked away 6 weeks ago and we haven't had any contact. My heart aches and my children have begged me to NOT take him back if he should circle back. He may. My brain tells me he isn't coming back and I am trying to open up to the possibility that I will date others. Still though managing dispoointment, releasing hope and embracing the reality takes time. Allow yourself that time. Find peace in the silence. Find strength in your ability to stand alone and reclaim your Independence. I may always long for this beautiful man, but, like you I WILL NOT CONTACT him. I will hold space in my heart for love and be open to whatever may be coming next. Trying not to expect a thing allows the universe to open and possibilities will be more available to you. Don't force, chase or demand anything. Just go with the current on this one. Someone told me ;and it really stung but it's true), if he wanted to see you he would. Be brave. Let him go. Allow space for the unexpected coming your way in 2018. I will try to do the same.

The best way to get over one man is to get under another.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I know I'm staying in touch for the wrong reasons. I consider him a catch (obviously) and find it flattering that he wants to spend time and sleep together. I'm touched when he reaches out. It makes me feel nice when he confides in me - as he did the other day when he was telling me about his visit to his family, telling me about how he's feeling. It makes me feel good when he says he'll call me soon.

Wtf is wrong with me??

Nothing is wrong with you. But, why don’t you give him some time to miss you? You are too available when he needs emotional support and sex. Ignore him for awhile. Don’t respond a few times when he reaches out. Let him think about what he is missing as well as what being with you entails ( accepting and loving you and the kids.) if he doesn’t come back, realize this connection is one sided and you deserve better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I know I'm staying in touch for the wrong reasons. I consider him a catch (obviously) and find it flattering that he wants to spend time and sleep together. I'm touched when he reaches out. It makes me feel nice when he confides in me - as he did the other day when he was telling me about his visit to his family, telling me about how he's feeling. It makes me feel good when he says he'll call me soon.

Wtf is wrong with me??

Why did you break up?

He realized he didn't want to date someone with kids - I have two. Otherwise we got on quite well. But obv that's a total dealbreaker, and I should value myself more than to deal with someone who feels this way. It just hurts

Oh no, no, no. You have to value yourself more. He needs to go bye bye. This is his loss, not yours. There is someone out there. If you're wasting your time pining for this one, you won't find the right one. I understand you enjoy his company and you're probably lonely, but this isn't the solution. You need to find something you enjoy--something that you are obligated to once a week. I find that signing up for a multi-week course is a great way to meet new people. You can take a cooking or painting series, learn a new computer software, a new language, a study at your place of worship, a gym class---anything that obligates you out of the house once a week. You'll do something for yourself and find that meeting new people in general is a great way to avoid the loneliness.

Get this book.

https://www.amazon.com/Ignore-Guy-Get-Survival-Mastering-ebook/dp/B00C7VJ1KA/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1514819891&sr=8-3&keywords=no+contact+book

No contact works and the guy may decide he does want you after all but after time passes, you may decide you don’t want him after all.

Anonymous wrote:He is using you for sex and emotional support and has conditioned you to accept less from him. He’s getting all the benefits of a relationship without having to be in one, why wouldn’t come back for more if you are okay with this situation? He’s probably seeing someone new that he likes more and keeping busy with you until things evolve into something with substance with the other person.
Baggagereclaim.co.uk

Same poster here. You need to go no contact (NC) with the intention of moving on but you might be surprised with the end result, he might realize that he would rather be with you+ kids than not having you in his life but for this to work, you absolutely need to go NC, you need to stay strong and keep your eyes on the prize. It has worked for me(different situation though)

Good luck

He is not that into you. You have no future together. Delete and block him.

OMG. Delete and block him! He is using you for sex and as an emotional waste dump. He gets everything from you and you get nothing. You are not friends. You are not his therapist. Don’t waste another second of 2018 on him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I know I'm staying in touch for the wrong reasons. I consider him a catch (obviously) and find it flattering that he wants to spend time and sleep together. I'm touched when he reaches out. It makes me feel nice when he confides in me - as he did the other day when he was telling me about his visit to his family, telling me about how he's feeling. It makes me feel good when he says he'll call me soon.

Wtf is wrong with me??

Why did you break up?

He realized he didn't want to date someone with kids - I have two. Otherwise we got on quite well. But obv that's a total dealbreaker, and I should value myself more than to deal with someone who feels this way. It just hurts

He is using you for sex and emotional support and has conditioned you to accept less from him. He’s getting all the benefits of a relationship without having to be in one, why wouldn’t come back for more if you are okay with this situation? He’s probably seeing someone new that he likes more and keeping busy with you until things evolve into something with substance with the other person.
Baggagereclaim.co.uk

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I know I'm staying in touch for the wrong reasons. I consider him a catch (obviously) and find it flattering that he wants to spend time and sleep together. I'm touched when he reaches out. It makes me feel nice when he confides in me - as he did the other day when he was telling me about his visit to his family, telling me about how he's feeling. It makes me feel good when he says he'll call me soon.

Wtf is wrong with me??

Nothing's wrong with you. You're lonely and have low self-esteem, like many people. It's hard to see that this guy doesn't give a crap about you when he's being attentive and sweet. Really, though - this guy doesn't care about you. If he did, he would leave you alone to grieve that relationship and move on. He values the boost he gets from your attention more than he values your well-being. So what if he's a catch? You have not caught him. If he wanted to be with you, he would.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I know I'm staying in touch for the wrong reasons. I consider him a catch (obviously) and find it flattering that he wants to spend time and sleep together. I'm touched when he reaches out. It makes me feel nice when he confides in me - as he did the other day when he was telling me about his visit to his family, telling me about how he's feeling. It makes me feel good when he says he'll call me soon.

Wtf is wrong with me??

Why did you break up?

OP here. I know I'm staying in touch for the wrong reasons. I consider him a catch (obviously) and find it flattering that he wants to spend time and sleep together. I'm touched when he reaches out. It makes me feel nice when he confides in me - as he did the other day when he was telling me about his visit to his family, telling me about how he's feeling. It makes me feel good when he says he'll call me soon.

Wtf is wrong with me??

No contact has worked extremely well for me. For some absence makes the heart grow fonder; however, for me it had the opposite effect. The longer we are apart the more I see how necessary it was to break up. 2017 was a bad year for a lot of people, but it was actually pretty awesome for me. Mainly because he wasn't in my life, which resulted in zero chaos.

Anonymous wrote:Delete, block, pretend he died. NEXT! Date other men. Have fun, keep busy.

I think that is well put. You can do something now. In the long run, new experiences will reduce the memory of the ex.