Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a side note, why is everybody dismissing her stomach issues? My DD has GERD, it presents a lot like you describe. She had it since she was a kid, and yes food issues come with it hand in hand. Why lying about her stomach issues? Is your wife from a culture/or just crazy mind set that skinny is beautiful? Anyway, it is generally more common that older child will identify and "like" opposite gender parent more, I have observed this in almost all families I know. Which makes me wonder why is there a lack of bond between you two? Were you absent for a while? Are you divorced and not living with them? Something about your post is off.

I dismissed her stomach issues because OF COURSE someone who exists on french fries will say their stomach hurts. The girl has terrible nutrition. Fix that and maybe her stomach issues will go away.

Maybe not. Maybe she is eating French fries because they are not spicy and while they are oily, might not cause her issues. She might be eating potatoes because they don't cause her issues, potatoes are one of the top foods for people with gastritis.

Because of ALL the things in OP's post, it appears stress, anxiety and emotional regulation are the primary and most significant concerns. And, her stomach issues are most likely related to her mental health. If they are not, they can be addressed later. The priority is to address the unhappiness, anxiety and rigidity.

I don't think so. I think any stomach issues and iron need to be addressed first -- the girl is PASSING OUT!? Don't discount how much additional unhappiness she is feeling bc she doesn't physically feel well and energetic -- she may not even realize how bad she feels physically.

Because she's been like this for so long I have no doubt the DD doesn't realize how badly she feels. Her mother has as many, if not more, mental health issues as her DD does - lying to the doctor about the DD's symptoms and diet!? But, the 'stomach issues' cannot be treated without addressing the mental health issues. You clearly have limited experience with mental illness.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a side note, why is everybody dismissing her stomach issues? My DD has GERD, it presents a lot like you describe. She had it since she was a kid, and yes food issues come with it hand in hand. Why lying about her stomach issues? Is your wife from a culture/or just crazy mind set that skinny is beautiful? Anyway, it is generally more common that older child will identify and "like" opposite gender parent more, I have observed this in almost all families I know. Which makes me wonder why is there a lack of bond between you two? Were you absent for a while? Are you divorced and not living with them? Something about your post is off.

I dismissed her stomach issues because OF COURSE someone who exists on french fries will say their stomach hurts. The girl has terrible nutrition. Fix that and maybe her stomach issues will go away.

Maybe not. Maybe she is eating French fries because they are not spicy and while they are oily, might not cause her issues. She might be eating potatoes because they don't cause her issues, potatoes are one of the top foods for people with gastritis.

Because of ALL the things in OP's post, it appears stress, anxiety and emotional regulation are the primary and most significant concerns. And, her stomach issues are most likely related to her mental health. If they are not, they can be addressed later. The priority is to address the unhappiness, anxiety and rigidity.

I don't think so. I think any stomach issues and iron need to be addressed first -- the girl is PASSING OUT!? Don't discount how much additional unhappiness she is feeling bc she doesn't physically feel well and energetic -- she may not even realize how bad she feels physically.

Because she's been like this for so long I have no doubt the DD doesn't realize how badly she feels. Her mother has as many, if not more, mental health issues as her DD does - lying to the doctor about the DD's symptoms and diet!? But, the 'stomach issues' cannot be treated without addressing the mental health issues. You clearly have limited experience with mental illness.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a side note, why is everybody dismissing her stomach issues? My DD has GERD, it presents a lot like you describe. She had it since she was a kid, and yes food issues come with it hand in hand. Why lying about her stomach issues? Is your wife from a culture/or just crazy mind set that skinny is beautiful? Anyway, it is generally more common that older child will identify and "like" opposite gender parent more, I have observed this in almost all families I know. Which makes me wonder why is there a lack of bond between you two? Were you absent for a while? Are you divorced and not living with them? Something about your post is off.

I dismissed her stomach issues because OF COURSE someone who exists on french fries will say their stomach hurts. The girl has terrible nutrition. Fix that and maybe her stomach issues will go away.

Maybe not. Maybe she is eating French fries because they are not spicy and while they are oily, might not cause her issues. She might be eating potatoes because they don't cause her issues, potatoes are one of the top foods for people with gastritis.

Because of ALL the things in OP's post, it appears stress, anxiety and emotional regulation are the primary and most significant concerns. And, her stomach issues are most likely related to her mental health. If they are not, they can be addressed later. The priority is to address the unhappiness, anxiety and rigidity.

I don't think so. I think any stomach issues and iron need to be addressed first -- the girl is PASSING OUT!? Don't discount how much additional unhappiness she is feeling bc she doesn't physically feel well and energetic -- she may not even realize how bad she feels physically.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a side note, why is everybody dismissing her stomach issues? My DD has GERD, it presents a lot like you describe. She had it since she was a kid, and yes food issues come with it hand in hand. Why lying about her stomach issues? Is your wife from a culture/or just crazy mind set that skinny is beautiful? Anyway, it is generally more common that older child will identify and "like" opposite gender parent more, I have observed this in almost all families I know. Which makes me wonder why is there a lack of bond between you two? Were you absent for a while? Are you divorced and not living with them? Something about your post is off.

I dismissed her stomach issues because OF COURSE someone who exists on french fries will say their stomach hurts. The girl has terrible nutrition. Fix that and maybe her stomach issues will go away.

Maybe not. Maybe she is eating French fries because they are not spicy and while they are oily, might not cause her issues. She might be eating potatoes because they don't cause her issues, potatoes are one of the top foods for people with gastritis.

Because of ALL the things in OP's post, it appears stress, anxiety and emotional regulation are the primary and most significant concerns. And, her stomach issues are most likely related to her mental health. If they are not, they can be addressed later. The priority is to address the unhappiness, anxiety and rigidity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a side note, why is everybody dismissing her stomach issues? My DD has GERD, it presents a lot like you describe. She had it since she was a kid, and yes food issues come with it hand in hand. Why lying about her stomach issues? Is your wife from a culture/or just crazy mind set that skinny is beautiful? Anyway, it is generally more common that older child will identify and "like" opposite gender parent more, I have observed this in almost all families I know. Which makes me wonder why is there a lack of bond between you two? Were you absent for a while? Are you divorced and not living with them? Something about your post is off.

I dismissed her stomach issues because OF COURSE someone who exists on french fries will say their stomach hurts. The girl has terrible nutrition. Fix that and maybe her stomach issues will go away.

Maybe not. Maybe she is eating French fries because they are not spicy and while they are oily, might not cause her issues. She might be eating potatoes because they don't cause her issues, potatoes are one of the top foods for people with gastritis.

Because of ALL the things in OP's post, it appears stress, anxiety and emotional regulation are the primary and most significant concerns. And, her stomach issues are most likely related to her mental health. If they are not, they can be addressed later. The priority is to address the unhappiness, anxiety and rigidity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a side note, why is everybody dismissing her stomach issues? My DD has GERD, it presents a lot like you describe. She had it since she was a kid, and yes food issues come with it hand in hand. Why lying about her stomach issues? Is your wife from a culture/or just crazy mind set that skinny is beautiful? Anyway, it is generally more common that older child will identify and "like" opposite gender parent more, I have observed this in almost all families I know. Which makes me wonder why is there a lack of bond between you two? Were you absent for a while? Are you divorced and not living with them? Something about your post is off.

I dismissed her stomach issues because OF COURSE someone who exists on french fries will say their stomach hurts. The girl has terrible nutrition. Fix that and maybe her stomach issues will go away.

Maybe not. Maybe she is eating French fries because they are not spicy and while they are oily, might not cause her issues. She might be eating potatoes because they don't cause her issues, potatoes are one of the top foods for people with gastritis.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a side note, why is everybody dismissing her stomach issues? My DD has GERD, it presents a lot like you describe. She had it since she was a kid, and yes food issues come with it hand in hand. Why lying about her stomach issues? Is your wife from a culture/or just crazy mind set that skinny is beautiful? Anyway, it is generally more common that older child will identify and "like" opposite gender parent more, I have observed this in almost all families I know. Which makes me wonder why is there a lack of bond between you two? Were you absent for a while? Are you divorced and not living with them? Something about your post is off.

I dismissed her stomach issues because OF COURSE someone who exists on french fries will say their stomach hurts. The girl has terrible nutrition. Fix that and maybe her stomach issues will go away.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Therapy for sure. My kids have my depression and anxiety what has helped is my being open about it. I take medication and they do not but they know that’s an option and they know I waited far too long to try medication and that it’s made a huge difference in my life. I also am type A personality and I get overwhelmed very easily (too much noise etc.) they’re similar. They’re teens so only so much of this I can help them with but they know I meditate, they both have the calm app on phones, I need alone time when overwhelmed, exercise is key, sometimes playing with the dog and taking a bath or long shower is more important than getting an A on the test, nutrition, your daughters eating would really worry me, we talk about how food makes us feel , too much sugar making us feel horrible, sodas etc. need for a lot of water. We really emphasize relationships, spending time as a family, doing outdoor things (skiing, rafting, tennis, hiking, biking). Having a few good friends versus getting caught up in the whole popular thing. Being comfortable by yourself, alone versus lonely. We encourage silliness. This is the gift that returned to my life when I went on medication. I was ridiculously serious my whole life starting as a small child. Now I frequently embarrass my kids with “dancing like nobody is watching” and other general silliness. I work at being lighthearted as contradictory as that may be. I also believe strongly in vitamin D, Bs and folate to help those of us with more complicated chemistry.

What medication has worked for you?

Anonymous wrote:The words out of my 14-year-olds daughters mouth as I drive her home from a friends house.

She’s been a fairly anxious and sensitive child since she was pretty young. She has my wife’s Type A perfectionism and my anxiety and depressive tendencies.

The past 3 or 4 years have been rough. Since she’s started puberty I’ve become her enemy. We are so similar we butt heads. Often I feel like my wife encourages this divide. I’ll attempt to bond or connect with DD and my wife will shut it down. She’ll dismiss me as not understanding, often “it’s a girl thing”. My younger daughter is 12 and there doesn’t seem to be the same issues. We get along great, she’s a much easier going kid.

My 14-year-old behaviors have really concerned me. She has an eating disorder, although not one you’d consider traditional. She has had stomach issues since she was 6 or 7 (result of anxiety) and it’s manifested into her being super controlling over food. She also has a major phobia of getting sick. So she mainly only eats French fries, sometimes she’ll eat toast or an apple as well. I’ve been unsure how to handle this, I’ve been concerned from the beginning and my wife dismissed me and says, “she’s a picky eater”. My daughter is about 5% for weight and 90% for height. She’s severely anemic and has episodes of passing out my wife blames on menstruating although they often don’t coincide. She’ll lie to the doctor about my daughters symptoms and diet. I’ll push, that it’s become a big issue and I’m met with a lot of hostility from my wife and daughter. My daughter also is such a perfectionist she can not handle not being “perfect” in school. She’ll stay up 6 hours all night studying and be dead tired in the morning. I think she needs the sleep, wife says she’s just an dedicated student. If she does do poorly in anything she has a complete breakdown. We’ve both pushed her academically and now I feel like it’s backfired. She’s very smart and a great student but she dedicated so much time to school she puts self care and a social life as secondary. My wife seems to be proud of these attributes. I don’t understand. I don’t know what do do. I’m constantly dismissed when I see all these huge warning signs. I see so much of myself in my daughter. I struggled with horrible depression as a teen and young adult. I want her to get the help I never did.

“I don’t even know what happiness feels like”

Was her response when I asked her what would make her happy. I had to pick her up from a friends after she complained of a stomachache. She’s has very frequent stomachaches. She just looked lifeless as I drove her home, refusing to talk to me. I just asked her if she was happy, how I could make her happy and that was her response.

I couldn’t help but cry. She cried. We cried. She opened up a little more, but not a lot. She’s struggling and I feel like I’m the only one concerned.

I need help.

Anonymous wrote:Therapy for sure. My kids have my depression and anxiety what has helped is my being open about it. I take medication and they do not but they know that’s an option and they know I waited far too long to try medication and that it’s made a huge difference in my life. I also am type A personality and I get overwhelmed very easily (too much noise etc.) they’re similar. They’re teens so only so much of this I can help them with but they know I meditate, they both have the calm app on phones, I need alone time when overwhelmed, exercise is key, sometimes playing with the dog and taking a bath or long shower is more important than getting an A on the test, nutrition, your daughters eating would really worry me, we talk about how food makes us feel , too much sugar making us feel horrible, sodas etc. need for a lot of water. We really emphasize relationships, spending time as a family, doing outdoor things (skiing, rafting, tennis, hiking, biking). Having a few good friends versus getting caught up in the whole popular thing. Being comfortable by yourself, alone versus lonely. We encourage silliness. This is the gift that returned to my life when I went on medication. I was ridiculously serious my whole life starting as a small child. Now I frequently embarrass my kids with “dancing like nobody is watching” and other general silliness. I work at being lighthearted as contradictory as that may be. I also believe strongly in vitamin D, Bs and folate to help those of us with more complicated chemistry.