OP, I think what you’re missing is having peers with whom you shared common formative experiences.

High school itself was hell. I was a cheerleader, AP classes, the whole 9, and I still wouldn’t re-live it for the world.

The only things I value from that time are my memories—most of which involved my part-time job—and friendships.

Consider yourself blessed that you didn't have to spend four years of your childhood mingling with mean spirited, disrespectful, selfish, and entitled brats. You didn't have to worry about the pressures of drugs, sex, alcohol, and other socially destructive things. You got to escape the Hell. High school is miserable and your mother did right by you by homeschooling you.

I spent 4 years waiting for it to be over. I second that you should be grateful to your mother.

It sucked. You should be grateful to your mother. Kids can be so nasty to each other.

And when you get into the workforce nothing has changed except people are older and now have their own families; the pettiness, cliques, losers, most popular, etc are still very much active

Anonymous wrote:If you had a social life through church's activities, you didn't miss a thing.

She still did. Home and church are very restricted environments of like-minded and similar people. School is most kids' first foray into learning what it's like to be around people who are NOTHING LIKE YOU and have completely different perspectives and backgrounds than you do. I am a teacher; at least 50% of the most important learning that goes on in school is done in the interactions between peers.

If you had a social life through church's activities, you didn't miss a thing.

Anonymous wrote:You did miss something. Whether the experience is good or bad, it's a common foothold in American life. It's a shared experience most adults have. I do think it sucks you didn't get it and this is a huge reason why I hate homeschooling- it deprives kids of natural, beneficial learning experiences and opportunities because of the parents' personal beliefs/ideologies/fears. Homeschooled kids absolutely miss out and it is a shame.

+1

You missed experiencing what's happening in the 'i am being petty' thread that is also hovering around the top of off topic right now.

OP, you're romanticizing this. It is quite possible you would have had a great time but many of us felt like outcasts. And a lot of us carry that high school image of ourselves into our adult life. What was so interesting at my 40th reunion was to see how some of the folks who were not the most popular in high school had a pretty good life.

In the senior class poll, I was voted third weirdest girl - probably because I was a jock and really political at a time when girls weren't supposed to do either. So I didn't fit in much of anywhere. Now in my 60s I'm very happy because - thanks to being a weirdo girl jock - I have continued to work out and feel really good. I wish I could bottle this and share it with today's teenagers and tell them to just keep doing what they do - things will get better.

Okay, so it's possible you would have had a great time. It's possible you would have had a lousy time. But I suppose you did lose out on a common experience whether it was good or bad and I can see regretting that.

How old are you now, OP?

I agree with your husband. I went to public high school in the 90's. I never went to a football game, a homecoming, prom, or graduation (I went by the school to pick up my diploma). I had one sleepover in high school, and went to one party.

In 9th grade - we were all obsessed with Bob Ross, and would watch him after school, and then the next morning in math class talk about it. Our teacher was very confused for a while - why didn't he know this seemingly popular kid all his students gushed about?

In another class we got extra credit if we could rap the entirety of Ice, Ice Baby after a test. It was very popular to think Vanilla Ice was a poser.

My So-Called Life was beloved by most girls when it was on.

The main thing was the clothing, for me. I am now 41, and Facebook friends with 3 or 4 people from my hometown. We never talk. We were not close in high school.

Anonymous wrote:I never went to my prom nor any football games. Most of my time spare time was spent working to help my parents pay the rent. I still would not want to miss my high school experience because it shapes me into who I am today. Who you are today is from your own experience. There is really no right or wrong path. Look at who you are today. Do you like who you are? If you do, then there isn't any point is reminiscing about the what-ifs because perhaps you would not turn out to be the same individual that you have become. You might not have the same husband, nor children, nor friends.

I never really went to elementary school in the States. There are also other kids whose family had to move often due to their parents' military or job status. Did they miss out on a "normal" childhood, or did it shape them to have a different perspective? Life would be mighty boring, and much of creativity and diversity in the world would be lacking if we were cut from the same fabric.

+1

OP, I think your feelings have less to do with high school and more to do with your realization that your mother's likely anxiety or other mental disorder foundationally impacted your life. Lots of people have non-typical HS experiences.

Anonymous wrote:I actually enjoyed it a lot, but don't have any interest in reliving it.

The most important lesson there was that I HAD to leave home and meet people who were a little more open-minded.

Same. I ended up going to college in a big metropolitan city and grad school in a Southern SEC college town. Both vastly different from each other and from my hometown. But at the same time, I do cherish the few remaining close friends I went through high school with. I don’t want to go back but it was fun to share first crushes, kisses, proms, and sports with them.