Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my siblings said they're putting a couple presents under the tree "from me" (that they bought) so that their child feels valued, because my one $20 present isn't enough. What would you think of this? FYI this is in a pretty big family - lots of aunts/uncles, and lots of cousins.

Is the bolded what your sibling said, or is this how you interpreted it?

What would the explanation be, otherwise?

That your sibling bought too many presents and wants to make the other relatives look like rock stars to the kids.
That your sibling thinks money is tight for you and wants to look out for you.
Etc.

Too many presents? Then donate or return some.

Thinks money is tight? Don't overcompensate. Let them show love with their behavior, not "stuff." Especially without talking to them about it and asking if this is something they would be on board with.

It's incredibly rude and offensive, no matter how you spin it.

Good then next year you won't have to send anything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I buy my kids presents in my parents' name because my parents can't be bothered, so I don't see anything wrong with it in theory, but not in the scenario you described where you're already buying the kid a gift.

Same, but because my parents are on a fixed income. One year they gave them toothpaste and I knew I had to do a little more.

I think this is just incredibly odd. Why do you have to do "a little more" in someone else's name? Buy your kids whatever, from you. But putting another person's name on it is very rude.

A little more context - they are in their 80s and in declining health. Before their health decline, they bought inexpensive age appropriate gifts. My kids still cherish a book Grandpa gave them 5 years ago. But toothpaste?
When I was a child, my grandma gave me odd gifts like that. I thought she hated me. Turns out she was just really old and not all there. I’d rather my kids don’t think grandparents don’t like them since they got toothpaste. Honestly, getting nothing is better than an awkward present like that.

I bought my DS a gift from his older half brother that was expensive, but we both agreed he would LOVE and it i their mutually shared interest (sports jersey). Said half brother is a student, so no extra money to spare, but he also bought DS his own small gift. I did discuss purchase with my step ds beforehand though and he was on board.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I buy my kids presents in my parents' name because my parents can't be bothered, so I don't see anything wrong with it in theory, but not in the scenario you described where you're already buying the kid a gift.

Same, but because my parents are on a fixed income. One year they gave them toothpaste and I knew I had to do a little more.

I think this is just incredibly odd. Why do you have to do "a little more" in someone else's name? Buy your kids whatever, from you. But putting another person's name on it is very rude.

With their knowledge or without? My kid is my ex-MIL's only younger grandchild (there's a 20 year gap). It is incredibly important to her that she be able to spoil him at the holidays, but she's on a very tight budget. When she was younger and healthier, we'd go out together and I'd point out things I thought he'd like, and she'd pick one or two. I'd put them on my card, and she'd write me a postdated check to cover it, and then I'd "forget" to deposit it. It was a win/win. He got things I would have bought anyway, she got the credit.

Now, they're both older, and she can't go out to shop any more, so she writes the check to him, and he gives it to me and I "cash" it and take him shopping, and he writes her a thank you note. Again, I don't actually deposit it.

I think it's fine, but, we're both in on the game. If it was behind her back, I'd feel differently.

Rude and a sad reflection of her values.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my siblings said they're putting a couple presents under the tree "from me" (that they bought) so that their child feels valued, because my one $20 present isn't enough. What would you think of this? FYI this is in a pretty big family - lots of aunts/uncles, and lots of cousins.

Is the bolded what your sibling said, or is this how you interpreted it?

What would the explanation be, otherwise?

That your sibling bought too many presents and wants to make the other relatives look like rock stars to the kids.
That your sibling thinks money is tight for you and wants to look out for you.
Etc.

Anonymous wrote:if that's how they want to spend their money....whatever....

Point... missed...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I buy my kids presents in my parents' name because my parents can't be bothered, so I don't see anything wrong with it in theory, but not in the scenario you described where you're already buying the kid a gift.

Same, but because my parents are on a fixed income. One year they gave them toothpaste and I knew I had to do a little more.

I think this is just incredibly odd. Why do you have to do "a little more" in someone else's name? Buy your kids whatever, from you. But putting another person's name on it is very rude.

Anonymous wrote:I buy my kids presents in my parents' name because my parents can't be bothered, so I don't see anything wrong with it in theory, but not in the scenario you described where you're already buying the kid a gift.

Same, but because my parents are on a fixed income. One year they gave them toothpaste and I knew I had to do a little more.

Very odd. Next year, opt out of ALL gift giving between the relatives. Parents can just buy for their own kids.

conspiracy theory: she bought too much, and her spouse will flip if they find out, so she's passing some of them off as coming from you. she wants you to play along.

if that's how they want to spend their money....whatever....

She shouldn't have told you. That was very rude.

hah. My dog buys a lot of gifts for people.

But what your sister did is just rude.