Anonymous wrote:Hell no. Nor would I allow Papa for a Grandpa for the same reason, though that is much more common. Mama is for the mother not grandmother, whether your child calls you Mama or Mom or Mommy or whatever. But that's ridiculous that she would expect to be called Mama even with her name added.

Papa is not a name for dad. It is a name for grandpa.

Milkenials who want to age themselves with unkempt beards apparently also want to age themselves by using a grandpa name instead of calling themselves dad or daddy.

Anonymous wrote:My child calls both grandmothers "Ma Smith" and "Ma Jones" - never did it occur to me that this was stepping on my toes.

Yeah I don't understand the insecurity of this thread. You are the mom, your child will not be confused. And why do you even GAF?

My child calls both grandmothers "Ma Smith" and "Ma Jones" - never did it occur to me that this was stepping on my toes.

I called my grandmother (dad's mom) "Mama." In her native language (as in many others) it means mother, obviously. All of my other cousins, who were much older than I am, called her the word for "Grandmother" in that native language. But because I wasn't around those cousins much and instead I always heard her referred to by what my dad called her, I wanted to call her that too. She loved it...the other aunts/uncles/cousins were annoyed by it...I didn't really get that it wasn't proper and I don't care.

I definitely knew who my mom was.

Your kid is going to call the grandparents whatever ends up working out. These things kind of naturally happen. My MIL had a completely RIDICULOUS name she wanted. We never said it, she couldn't enforce it, it never happened.

Hell no. Nor would I allow Papa for a Grandpa for the same reason, though that is much more common. Mama is for the mother not grandmother, whether your child calls you Mama or Mom or Mommy or whatever. But that's ridiculous that she would expect to be called Mama even with her name added.

That would really piss me off. No way.

It seems to me that branching out from the traditional grandparent names like grandma and grandpa just causes more angst in the world than it’s worth. I would just fall back on grandma and if the baby ends up mangling the name in some cute way you can start using that, if that’s what grandma wants.

OMG do we have the same MIL? Mine wants to be called Momma "insert first initial" too. It is SO weird and I can't grasp why she won't just use Grandma. I think it's her own insecurities with feeling "old" as she's one to get plastic surgery and wear VS Pink clothes at age 65.

Anonymous wrote:So much drama. I call my sil’s mother Mama x, who cares.

I’m not the OP, but this is entirely different. It was your choice, as an adult I assume? Mama is one of the first words a baby says and it’s understandable why the op doesn’t want her baby’s first word to be taken as being a call for the MIL (and it sounds like the OPs MIL will definitely claim that).

Anonymous wrote:So much drama. I call my sil’s mother Mama x, who cares.

+1. I call my own grandma "Momma".

Anonymous wrote:Oy. She sounds really annoying.

I would push back a little more on the absurd stuff—“what an absurd suggestion” etc.”

As for the name thing, teach your child from day one that “this is grandma! This is your grandma First name, she loves you so much!” etc. Just don’t play along, and make it clear to your DH that this matters to you—and that his mom is hurting your relationship with you by being so ridiculous. Remind him that she is using up your goodwill before the baby is even here.

On the flip side, OP will be using up her "outrage" on something trivial. Let the pissing match begin.

The bottom line is that a mom who's confident in her role as mom WILL NOT care about this.

Oy. She sounds really annoying.

I would push back a little more on the absurd stuff—“what an absurd suggestion” etc.”

As for the name thing, teach your child from day one that “this is grandma! This is your grandma First name, she loves you so much!” etc. Just don’t play along, and make it clear to your DH that this matters to you—and that his mom is hurting your relationship with you by being so ridiculous. Remind him that she is using up your goodwill before the baby is even here.

So much drama. I call my sil’s mother Mama x, who cares.

Anonymous wrote:OP here

Thanks for the replies. I know it's not the the most rational thing but it does bother me and I can see myself getting resentful towards her for it. She already has joked to take the kids from us at various points. Since we got married she would say things like, they can just live with me and they would probably be happier living with me than in a tiny big city apt, she asked if she could homeschool our kids and they can just live with her m-f. I've played nice. A lot. I'm just tired of always feeling like she is undermining me and crossing boundaries. It starts with mama X and then she will start using mama flat out.

My plan right now is just to refer to her as her initials to the kids.

Ugh. She tells terrible "jokes".

Honestly, I would just let her have the whole Mama X thing. Kids don't call their own mothers Mama X, your own mom could be simply Grandma. You'll still be Mom.

Well you're the one who gets to enforce it. Just call her grandma and your kid will too. My kid is 2 and still can't say grandma, so you have some time.

I can't STAND this new trend of boomers trying to come up with special names. My MIL tried out like 7 different names: Gigi, Nana, Nanny, Gaga, Grams, Oma on and on. At my baby shower all the other older women were all talking about their special names. What's wrong with grandma? Isn't that a big honor to become a grandma?