Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lead with kindness.

This.

Your LV purse, red bottom shoes and your fancy car won't mean anything of your attitude is ugly.

They definitely still mean something and it can’t be overcome by a good attitude.

They may mean something but they do not convey elegance.

Anonymous wrote:Wear neutral colors. Stay trim/fit. Blow out your hair. Keep your nails short and natural (clear or nude polish). Carry a nice bag in a neutral color without an obvious logo.

now THAT is boring. No acrylic talons, please, but a little color never hurts.

And come to think of it, I don't think you can be young AND elegant. Elegance implies a certain age.

Anonymous wrote:As most of the posters say, elegance is mostly about being tall and thin. A long neck and unblemished skin is especially useful. I think if you are tall and very thin, with good skin, it is hard not to be elegant.

This helps for sure, but elegance is mostly about manners. Look at today's fashion models, they are all tall and thin with long necks and clear skin, but elegant is not a word that comes to mind. Elegance requires calm, controlled behavior, and projecting the vibe of unperturbed, quiet competence. Like you would know what to do whatever life throws at you. That and never making anyone feel uncomfortable.

I've given up on elegance and have settled for neat and clean appearance. I focus mostly on being kind and warm. I am average height, slightly overweight and AA with lots of wild curly hair that will not be tamed.

Pretty much anyone who describes elegance will never pick someone with my appearance so I've given up on that and I just work on being neat and NICE.

As most of the posters say, elegance is mostly about being tall and thin. A long neck and unblemished skin is especially useful. I think if you are tall and very thin, with good skin, it is hard not to be elegant.

Anonymous wrote:My mother is the most elegant woman I've ever known. She is tall and thin, so that helps. She is always calm. I have never - literally not one time- heard her raise her voice. She is kind to everyone. Like the PPs suggested, she doesn't wear flashy, trendy clothes. She just has a calm, kind presence about her.

Do they make a tablet to help me with this? Seriously.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lead with kindness.

This.

Your LV purse, red bottom shoes and your fancy car won't mean anything of your attitude is ugly.

They definitely still mean something and it can’t be overcome by a good attitude.

Be kind, be grateful, be generous, be interested in other people and their lives, spend time on art and culture and reading.

To me elegance is mostly inner.

My mother is the most elegant woman I've ever known. She is tall and thin, so that helps. She is always calm. I have never - literally not one time- heard her raise her voice. She is kind to everyone. Like the PPs suggested, she doesn't wear flashy, trendy clothes. She just has a calm, kind presence about her.

Anonymous wrote:So, essentially, be really boring.

No; there's a happy medium between boring and tacky.

Anonymous wrote:Tell me how you dress, etc. money isn’t an issue

Dress like Claire Underwood.

So, essentially, be really boring.

Be thin, with great skin and white even teeth. Do the best with the hair you have. Measured makeup.

Do not wear anything remotely revealing.

No cheap fabrics. Good quality, well fitting garments. Nothing frou-frou, nothing too going-outy if you're aiming for a rich mom style.

Elegance is mostly about your manners. Do not rush, move too quickly, fidget, or talk/laugh too loudly. Exude calmness, control and self-confidence in a quiet way. Be unperturbed no matter what happens.

Anonymous wrote:The least elegant moms I knew growing up were the ones who were very influenced by teen hair and clothing trends.

Yeah the "I'm a cool mom" types who tried to dress, talk and act like teens and just made everyone else uncomfortable...