My sister's first boyfriend was an exciting loser. She was 17, he was mid-20s. He never went to college, had crappy minimum wage jobs, rode a motorcycle, sold pot at the mall.

My parents evident disapproval did nothing to deter this, though they never flat-out forbade her to see him.

Eventually she went off to college in another state, met other non-loser guys, and broke up with him. He tried to convince her to drop out and move in with him, but no deal.

Ultimately her good judgment prevailed. That's pretty much what you have to count on. There is simply no way you're going to stop her from having sex with this guy if she's determined to do so.

Anonymous wrote:It depends...is the loser male or female? It’s socially acceptable to push the male losers away, but if it a female losers it’s really hard.

Explain.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You needed to lay the groundwork for this years ago. Self esteem, judgement, etc. Losers don’t go for girls who are confident.

Yes they do. The key is to make sure your daughter rejects losers who go for her.

That’s the point. The DD has agency and needs to be able to judge for herself. Having daddy or big brother protect her is grossly sexist.

Anonymous wrote:Oh my, why is your kid into losers?

Oh get over yourself. We've all dated someone who would qualify as a "loser" in the eyes of someone else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad conveniently cleaned his rifles any time a boy came to pick me up.

My HS girlfriend's dad used to do that. So, I'd talk to him about guns for a while. Then I'd take her out on a date, and afterwards we'd go back to my place and have sex. All in all, these were great evenings!

Parental disapproval is an aphrodisiac.

Talk about how the kid reminds you of yourself when you were that age and how much you approve of him. That should do the trick.

It depends...is the loser male or female? It’s socially acceptable to push the male losers away, but if it a female losers it’s really hard.

Anonymous wrote:My dad conveniently cleaned his rifles any time a boy came to pick me up.

My HS girlfriend's dad used to do that. So, I'd talk to him about guns for a while. Then I'd take her out on a date, and afterwards we'd go back to my place and have sex. All in all, these were great evenings!

Anonymous wrote:You needed to lay the groundwork for this years ago. Self esteem, judgement, etc. Losers don’t go for girls who are confident.

Yes they do. The key is to make sure your daughter rejects losers who go for her.

My older brother beat my and my sister’s losers up. It was the best thing for me.

Anonymous wrote:Shame on you - this parent had asked for help and you are bashing their parenting!

I agree that if you try to push them apart, it will have the opposite affect. Best chances are to model a good relationship with your partner, and when there are moments of calm, and you can keep your emotions supressed, you can say, "We are a good pair because we love and respect each other, are kind and supportive of each other, etc. I see why you are attracted to so-and-so, can you share with me more about your relationship? Is it respectful? Is he kind to you? How do you support each other?" Then listen. You can hope she will eventually realize her mistake, but until then, be supportive or you may lose her entirely.

Please supply her with anti vomit medicine and a glass of water during this talk.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dad conveniently cleaned his rifles any time a boy came to pick me up.

“I’ve got a .45 and a shovel, and I doubt anyone would miss you.”

Yes, but oh so sexist . A girl can’t date a boy without daddy threatening violence?
Is this ‘loser’ nice to her? How exactly is he a ‘loser’?

You need to make sure your child knows how to prevent pregnancy and std's and has whatever he/she needs to do so. Let him/her know you are here for them without judgement, then stay out of it and pray it ends soon.

Anonymous wrote:How old exactly is your DD? There is a big difference between how one can & should deal with this issue with a 16 year old adult (a minor) & and an 18 year old DD (a legal adult).

^ that should read "a 16 year old DD" not "a 16 year old adult"!

Anonymous wrote:How old exactly is your DD? There is a big difference between how one can & should deal with this issue with a 16 year old adult (a minor) & and an 18 year old DD (a legal adult).

^ that should read "a 16 year old DD" not "a 16 year old adult"!

How old exactly is your DD? There is a big difference between how one can & should deal with this issue with a 16 year old adult (a minor) & and an 18 year old DD (a legal adult).