Anonymous wrote:Given that it's "our" money, I wouldn't worry. He doesn't have much money that's just "his" other than his retirement account which has about the same amount that I have in mine. I also was the sole bread winner at one point, so this doesn't worry me all that much either, as long as he can be a great sahd.

I get it now, thanks for the clarification. His money is “our” money but your money is “your” money. Feminism at it’s best.

I would question how he had spent all of our savings and proceed accordingly.

Lost his job or all our money? All our money, I'd be raging pissed. Come on, is that even a question? His job? Not an issue, happened before and we lived off mine until he could find another.

Anonymous wrote:I lived it. I'll tell you what we did- we worked harder than ever to pick ourselves back up. It made us stronger than before. I love my husband, not our money so I would never leave him for that.

btw, It was because of a bad business deal and not because we misspent it. Learned a hard lesson and we are now better than we were before.

I lived it. I'll tell you what we did- we worked harder than ever to pick ourselves back up. It made us stronger than before. I love my husband, not our money so I would never leave him for that.

Anonymous wrote:No problem, he'll just earn it back.

If he lost his ambition/drive? We'd have problems.

I tend to agree with this. My DH had a DUI several years ago and was suspended from work for a period of time so we had to make ends meet on my income (we are not rich, by any means, FWIW). So we have been through sort of a shorter “test” rough patch and we made it. He’s a wonderful person I can’t imagine being without. (Also, FWIW, he has not driven after having even one drop of alcohol since then, and neither have in so he learned his lesson. If he hadn’t, that would be a whole other issue.)

He'd just earn more. ??

You mean I would have to work? I would leave.

Only if he drank it, snorted it, shot it up, smoked it, spent it on hooker pooter.

I'm a till death us do part loyal but I'm not going down the above for anyone.

Stupid question.

Anonymous wrote:You mean if he plowed through millions of dollars in savings and ignored my requests to stop unnecessary spending?

Of course I would leave him. I have a feeling that if I posted the above scenario as what was going on in my life, the vast majority of posters would call that abuse.

+ 1

I assume that includes retirement, college savings and investments. It would be a hard blow for us.

He did and I did. Here is to working women!!

It’s all our money, so we both would have to tighten our belts for a while. Maybe sell the house and live frugally while we both work to rebuild what was lost.

Anonymous wrote:No problem, he'll just earn it back.

If he lost his ambition/drive? We'd have problems.

This

You mean if he plowed through millions of dollars in savings and ignored my requests to stop unnecessary spending?

Of course I would leave him. I have a feeling that if I posted the above scenario as what was going on in my life, the vast majority of posters would call that abuse.