Anonymous
12/07/2017 19:09
Subject: Re:How to spice up sex life in newer marriage...
In today’s climate, it’s risky for even a married man to initiate.
Anonymous
12/07/2017 18:33
Subject: How to spice up sex life in newer marriage...
How was it when you were dating? Or did you think he'd change as soon as you got married?
Anonymous
12/07/2017 17:23
Subject: How to spice up sex life in newer marriage...
HOw far into the 40 lb weight gain are you?
Anonymous
12/07/2017 17:09
Subject: How to spice up sex life in newer marriage...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I disagree. Men like newness too.
Yes, but in the linked video Tracey Cox speaks about a phenomenon that is exclusive to women: the biological loss of sex drive after giving birth to kids.
Furthermore, there is a difference between "liking newness" versus losing sexual interest in a long-term partner. Both men and women like newness, I would imagine equally so. But there is substantial evidence that many women LOSE sexual interest in long-term partner (to the point of avoiding sex with him), whereas most men continue to want sex with a long-term partner.
Bottom line: the reasons for loss of interest are quite different for a man versus a woman.
The enormous difference in testosterone levels between men and women help explain why men can retain sexual interest in a long term partner despite facing hurdles (e.g. loss of newness, stress, etc.) where women can lose theirs entirely in the face of the same challenges. I know it's depressing to chalk these things up to chemicals rather than behavior.
Anonymous
12/07/2017 15:08
Subject: How to spice up sex life in newer marriage...
Anonymous wrote:I disagree. Men like newness too.
Yes, but in the linked video Tracey Cox speaks about a phenomenon that is exclusive to women: the biological loss of sex drive after giving birth to kids.
Furthermore, there is a difference between "liking newness" versus losing sexual interest in a long-term partner. Both men and women like newness, I would imagine equally so. But there is substantial evidence that many women LOSE sexual interest in long-term partner (to the point of avoiding sex with him), whereas most men continue to want sex with a long-term partner.
Bottom line: the reasons for loss of interest are quite different for a man versus a woman.
Anonymous
12/07/2017 13:32
Subject: How to spice up sex life in newer marriage...
Set outward boundaries (baby steps) and expectations.
Don't say I want you to do this. Give him an end game, not orgasm. This way he knows how you want to be pleased and he has room to participate with his own ideas and thoughts.
Mentally think about it as hallway you are going to walk together. You have established that you want sex, that is floor. Limits, types of sex etc are the walls. What you want is the door at the end of the halway encourage him to lead the way. There is no roof because there should never be a cap on great sex.
Don't say I want you to do this. Give him an end game, not orgasm. This way he knows how you want to be pleased and he has room to participate with his own ideas and thoughts.
Mentally think about it as hallway you are going to walk together. You have established that you want sex, that is floor. Limits, types of sex etc are the walls. What you want is the door at the end of the halway encourage him to lead the way. There is no roof because there should never be a cap on great sex.
Anonymous
12/07/2017 13:32
Subject: How to spice up sex life in newer marriage...
cooks, cleans, does the laundry... aren't these the same excuses women say for not wanting sex
Anonymous
12/07/2017 13:19
Subject: How to spice up sex life in newer marriage...
Stress can be a real drive killer, even for people with a high drive. So can lack of sleep. Testosterone drops off late at night. Easiest suggestions - morning sex, read in bed together instead of watching TV, go to bed earlier. More difficult suggestions - make it exciting by talking about fantasies, past exploits, dirty thoughts. The closeness and comfort of marriage can be a drive killer for men (and women sometimes) even while it is necessary to relationship success.
Anonymous
12/07/2017 11:56
Subject: How to spice up sex life in newer marriage...
Sleep naked.
Anonymous
12/07/2017 11:53
Subject: How to spice up sex life in newer marriage...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote: DH and I have been married 3 years. Great guy, cooks, cleans, does laundry, driven, good job, but our sex life is severely lacking. No he isn't cheating, I don't look like shit, and I have told him many times but claims he is just tired and stressed from work... any advice?
A hundred bucks says he secretly watches a ton of porn. Get that fixed ASAP...
+1
If you find it take note and try and mimic what you see. He'll probably be delighted. My DH was looking at stuff during our dry spell late in my third trimester. I took a mental note and now we video chat during his business trips and I use it as inspiration haha.
Anonymous
12/07/2017 11:50
Subject: How to spice up sex life in newer marriage...
OP - do you dress sexy on a daily basis? If so, what do you consider sexy?
Anonymous
12/07/2017 11:50
Subject: How to spice up sex life in newer marriage...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Relax! Stop nagging him for sex, it's not a turn on. You can suggest it once in a while. Be affectionate with hugs and kisses and be supportive. Unfortunately due to biology the man has to be the aggressor in the bedroom- you simply can't screw a man who's not interested.
But you can screw a woman who's not interested?
Technically speaking yes
Anonymous
12/07/2017 11:34
Subject: How to spice up sex life in newer marriage...
Anonymous wrote:It sounds like he's not attracted to you. Could be physical or could be you annoy him.
My thoughts too but op says he gets into it. Does he really? Does he do all the things you like?
Anonymous
12/07/2017 11:00
Subject: How to spice up sex life in newer marriage...
It sounds like he's not attracted to you. Could be physical or could be you annoy him.
Anonymous
12/07/2017 10:53
Subject: How to spice up sex life in newer marriage...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote: DH and I have been married 3 years. Great guy, cooks, cleans, does laundry, driven, good job, but our sex life is severely lacking. No he isn't cheating, I don't look like shit, and I have told him many times but claims he is just tired and stressed from work... any advice?
A hundred bucks says he secretly watches a ton of porn. Get that fixed ASAP...
+1