For me, with my X, the line came when she discussed her DH’s penis size and how she compensated for it. Straight women over 40 don’t usually talk about that with straight men they don’t want sexually.

Anonymous wrote:Are you keeping your conversations with your friend a secret?
Are you hiding the amount of times you text him from your DH?
Would you openly allow your DH to read your messages with your friend?
Do you deep down, have a tingle of feelings for your friend?
Is there sexual chemistry there?
Do you share unflattering details about your DH with your friend?



Answer yes to any of these, and it's definitely an EA. Stop it and step away if you want to stay married.

Actually, answer “no” to this one to determine EA: Would you openly allow your DH to read your messages with your friend?

Or even easier: Is the level of physical attraction increasing the more you communicate with this guy? If yes then well your DH is right.

Get out, there's something going on.

If you have to think about boundaries, you're already in a messy situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you keeping your conversations with your friend a secret?
Are you hiding the amount of times you text him from your DH?
Would you openly allow your DH to read your messages with your friend?
Do you deep down, have a tingle of feelings for your friend?
Is there sexual chemistry there?
Do you share unflattering details about your DH with your friend?



Answer yes to any of these, and it's definitely an EA. Stop it and step away if you want to stay married.

Totally agree with this.

Well stated! +1

This is spot on.

I know this for a fact, because the first four of those gradually became true for me and my friend (though we mostly emailed rather than texting), and although we didn't share unflattering details about our spouses, we eventually alluded to our challenges at home.

A few months of that and we were sneaking away from family events to communicate.

Now we're sleeping together. And I can tell you now, I knew we'd crossed a line when I realized I wouldn't want my spouse to know how much we emailed, the time of night, and what we were saying.

Anonymous wrote:It's an emotional affair if it negatively affects your relationship with your husband and [b]if you tell him things that you wouldn't feel comfortable your DH knew.

I'm not sure I agree with this. I tell my best friend (same sex) things I don't want my husband to know, like I'll complain about something he's said or done and I wouldn't want him reading that text or hearing that conversation because it might upset him. Maybe that's different than what you meant. I agree it can be a fine line.