Anonymous wrote:TL; DR: It's more important to give your children a good education and relationship skills than buckets of money. The marriage partner they choose will probably have a bigger impact on their quality of life as adults than almost anything else you do, and you have very little control over that. And help your crazy relatives because their children will appreciate it. I hope this makes someone feel better. YMMV.

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I have a good deal of money, well into eight figures. When our kids were growing up we never lived to our incomes but we were comfortable. Our kids had to work for their allowances and there were no allowances in college or subsidies post college. They all have good careers, work hard and are making it on their own. We have set up 529 plans for their children and they know that there are trusts in place for them, but not until both my DH and I have passed which we hope will be a long time in coming. They will have very comfortable retirements but until then how they live is really up to them. We have provided bridge loans on mortgages which they pay back with interest and along with the 529 plans they know they are advantaged over many of their friends. It would be easy for us buy their homes or transfer a lot of money to them but we really believe that they need to be ambitious and work hard as we did. We never inherited anything substantial from our parents so we have made it on our won.

Anonymous wrote:I grew up very close to my five cousins. One of them is a billionaire who has supported "luxe" lifestyles for his siblings and their families. (He subsidized their houses, vacations, summer camps, college educations). We couldn't keep up so we don't have much contact anymore but I'm starting to see evidence on Facebook that the children of these cousins are not living up to expectations. It seems unlikely the billionaire's own children will continue the level of support to which they're accustomed.

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Anonymous wrote:I get what you're saying, OP, and don't find anything wrong with your post.

+1

+2 and I think there are a lot of people who think their wealth protects them from the vagaries of life

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Anonymous wrote:I get what you're saying, OP, and don't find anything wrong with your post.

+1

Anonymous wrote:I get what you're saying, OP, and don't find anything wrong with your post.

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Anonymous wrote:OP you sound smug and mean...especially about the cousin with the health condition, as a PP mentioned. Everyone knows money doesn’t buy happiness or health. Hell, my husband has a chronic health condition that no one would want “for a billion dollars” and we’re not even close to rich. I’m pretty sure most of this forum’s posters know that their kids’ lives are not going to be perfect bc of money, but they’re leaving behind whatever they can to ensure their children have the strongest financial foundation they can provide. I don’t begrudge them that.

+1. I don’t think there are too many adults thinking - omg I’m providing my kids a $10 million trust fund, their lives will be perfect. Most adults are not as naive as you think they are — they realize that bad marriages, recessions, and health issues can happen to anyone including their rich kids. But honestly you’re insecure and kidding yourself if you think money doesn’t make lives easier esp big money. It provides the parents (and kids) the security of knowing that if they lost their job or a pre existing condition caused health insurance cost to triple or they had to spend big money to see a top specialist that doesn’t take insurance, it would be no sweat financially. You’re kidding yourself if you think that kind of mental security isn’t priceless. It’s not all about flying first class and staying at the Ritz in Paris.

Not sure why you see the need to get mean about my post and call me insecure. Maybe you are right, but my post was not for those not-naive people. This forum appears to me to be chock full of people who have a really desperate attitude about money.

And of course money is important and can give you some security. But honestly- who cares? For many of us, we'll never "get rich" and it doesn't matter. If you have two working parents and good insurance, chances are really high that you will make it through a crisis ok. We have to save what we can and live our lives.

I’m being mean?? You’re mocking someone’s health problems?! If you think the security of wealth isn’t important, here’s a hint — don’t pursue it. If you think it’s fine that there are “high chances” that everything will be fine, great. Some people want to pursue true wealth to leave it behind for the next generation so that they aren’t relying on high chances + 2 working parents + good insurance. They can not work or their employer can quadruple insurance premiums and they’ll 100% guaranteed not have to make any financial choices or change their lifestyles one bit. If providing that kind of security is unappealing, don’t.

I wasn't mocking someone's health problems. And my point was that your attitude that "true wealth" is money, or will save you or the next generation, is kind of unhealthy. "True wealth" is spending less than what you make, and being healthy enough to make it through your day happy. Your employer can quadruple insurance premiums, or you could get hit by a bus, or your spouse could develop a gambling addiction and fritter all your money away. Shit happens to everyone and money isn't necessarily the answer. If you want tons of money, that's fine, more power to you. But it's not necessarily for your betterment or that of your children.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you sound smug and mean...especially about the cousin with the health condition, as a PP mentioned. Everyone knows money doesn’t buy happiness or health. Hell, my husband has a chronic health condition that no one would want “for a billion dollars” and we’re not even close to rich. I’m pretty sure most of this forum’s posters know that their kids’ lives are not going to be perfect bc of money, but they’re leaving behind whatever they can to ensure their children have the strongest financial foundation they can provide. I don’t begrudge them that.

+1. I don’t think there are too many adults thinking - omg I’m providing my kids a $10 million trust fund, their lives will be perfect. Most adults are not as naive as you think they are — they realize that bad marriages, recessions, and health issues can happen to anyone including their rich kids. But honestly you’re insecure and kidding yourself if you think money doesn’t make lives easier esp big money. It provides the parents (and kids) the security of knowing that if they lost their job or a pre existing condition caused health insurance cost to triple or they had to spend big money to see a top specialist that doesn’t take insurance, it would be no sweat financially. You’re kidding yourself if you think that kind of mental security isn’t priceless. It’s not all about flying first class and staying at the Ritz in Paris.

Not sure why you see the need to get mean about my post and call me insecure. Maybe you are right, but my post was not for those not-naive people. This forum appears to me to be chock full of people who have a really desperate attitude about money.

And of course money is important and can give you some security. But honestly- who cares? For many of us, we'll never "get rich" and it doesn't matter. If you have two working parents and good insurance, chances are really high that you will make it through a crisis ok. We have to save what we can and live our lives.

I’m being mean?? You’re mocking someone’s health problems?! If you think the security of wealth isn’t important, here’s a hint — don’t pursue it. If you think it’s fine that there are “high chances” that everything will be fine, great. Some people want to pursue true wealth to leave it behind for the next generation so that they aren’t relying on high chances + 2 working parents + good insurance. They can not work or their employer can quadruple insurance premiums and they’ll 100% guaranteed not have to make any financial choices or change their lifestyles one bit. If providing that kind of security is unappealing, don’t.