I would move quickly to IVF—and possibly donor egg.

I had a TFMR at 38, had a baby at 39, then another TFMR AT 41. We were lucky to have no trouble conceiving, but I couldn’t bear another termination for chromosomal reasons. We moved to IVF about 15 months ago.

I did four rounds of IVF. Got over 60 eggs. Only 3 made it to blast. All abnormal.

We just did a round of frozen eggs with a proven donor. Out of seven, five fertilized and we got four blasts. Transferred one and froze two. One arrested. Currently waiting on my test. The 26 yr old donor eggs are clearly an improvement over my 41-42 yr old ones.

When I first went to IVF, my therapist said she felt confident with my history that I could have another child, but it might be through a donor egg. I scoffed. I didn’t even consider it.

What I’ve heard and read from DE moms is that they wished they’d gone to DE sooner. I wish I had, too. It took me awhile to get here, but the hormones, emotions, weight gain, and mental toll were harrowing.

Best of luck with whatever you choose.

I would do one full IVF cycle right away (noting good tip of PP that in-processing can take a few months, sometimes longer) and then any follow-on transfers if you have enough embryos to work with. PGS/PGD testing is tricky. If you can easily afford it it may be worth it to you. Note it is not 100% accurate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need #3 so badly? What if there are major medical issues with the child? I wouldn't risk it.

NP here. Honestly, what kind of question is that? If someone wants 3, 5, 0r 10 kids it's their prerogative. We are here to support each other. Those desperately trying to have even one (like me) or those wanting 3 or whatever the number should receive the same support.
Let's be nicer ladies.

Agree with you, PP. Not your choice, not your family.