Anonymous wrote:Keep her in dance OP. Dancers are amazing athletes, fitter than many other sports.

If she is just recreational though right now and you want more cardio, try hip hop or jazz.

Or all star cheer.

Keep her in dance OP. Dancers are amazing athletes, fitter than many other sports.

If she is just recreational though right now and you want more cardio, try hip hop or jazz.

There are a few different things in OP's thread: daughter isn't healthy, daughter is self-conscious, daughter feels like she's not good at sports, daughter isn't doing enough sports (maybe activities in general) with peers. Can OP spend some time thinking about this and which are the things that are really important to their family?

For me, that would be the healthy aspect and that can be solved by simply increasing family activity level, encouraging daughter to try new kinds of exercise, even walking with an iPod, and finding a way to be healthy that she enjoys. It may be that for OP what matters most to their family is the social part, because OP mentioned wanting her to do a sport with her peers. OP may worry that daughter is missing out on important social experiences or that she's not making friends because she's not on a team sport. If this is what is important, then you could do what PPs recommend, where you try to pick a sport each season and/or find a coach for an activity to improve her base skills.

I'd try to really start with identifying what you value as a family and work backwards from there.

If you are interested in testing there are a number of options in the DC area. Most centers or practices offer both OT and PT, and can do initial evaluations that give you an idea of where her motor skills fall in comparison to the average for her age. If you only want to focus on gross motor rather than both fine and gross they may be able to work with you. Over the years we have had great experiences with Sensational Kids, Leaps and Bounds and Moco Movement Center.

Don’t forget there are lots of types of dance out there. If one style is just ok for her, another may be more to her liking.

Maybe she can help around the house and yard. How about some family games that require physical activity like twister. Has she tried jumping rope, hula-hoop,or hopscotch?

+1 for rock climbing. It's just you and the wall. Balance and control are more important than speed and strength. Maybe do a few private lessons so she can learn basic technique, and then you just get a membership or day passes to the gym.

Also +1 for martial arts. Finding the right gym is more important than the specific art.

Summer swim team can really help kids become good swimmers. Honestly, I wouldn't care if she doesn't want to compete in a meet because the daily laps hone their skills.

Martial arts. Hands down
DS is like this. He is not naturally athletic and hates losing but dislikes sports head to head competition since the other kids are just better normally. (Doesn’t want to play with us to improve either).
But he LOVES tae Kwon do. You make progress but you are only really competing with yourself since there are always new people joining so there is a very natural sense of well of course that person is better since they are a higher belt. You will be that good too when you have worked and practices that long.

Is she interested in science or nature? Hiking in Rock Creek is great exercise, but if she is there to do some naturalist study she won't even realize it is exercise.

We found that even though our kids seemed to be good swimmers at 6 or 7, when we stopped, by 10 or 11 they were just barely able to pass the summer camp swim test.

I suggest having 4 seasons of activity. One seems like it would be dance, one might be swimming, one might be try something new and the fourth might be something on a team.

While teams can be intimidating, most rec leagues only have one practice and one game a week. From experience, I can tell you that if you think your DC is intimidated by a team sport now, wait until middle school.

Another thing that some of our friends found was that some kids like relatively short but hard bursts of activity, like track practice and others are more able to handle activities that almost don't seem physical at all but are much better than sitting at home, like theater. Theater may not seem like a sport but it turns out that even late ES and certainly MS theater can take lots of hours. You don't have to be working very hard if you are putting in 10-20 hours a week compared to 2 hours per week for rec sports.

"at some point I guess they'll be good enough at it for life skill purposes that they can stop if they want"

Gymnastics? If you're near a gymnastics center, they often offer a free session in a beginning-level class, so DD could try it out. My DD is a competitive gymnast, but she has a lot of friends who take the rec classes and really enjoy them. No one is going to the Olympics, but they do build strength and gain confidence as they master skills.

OP, I recommend making her stick with a sport. My son is also relatively unathletic, but we made him stick with soccer and he has really gotten a lot better over the last 3 years.

Anonymous wrote:Have you had her motor skills tested? She may actually struggle with coordination, balance or core strength. Forcing her into activities without understanding what is going on could backfire and further undermine her confidence. If you test you may get an idea of what her strengths and weaknesses are, and OT or PT may help. Swimming, martial arts and track and field are often good athletic activities for kids who may struggle with group sports.

Who would do this type of testing? A PT?
We have wondered a bit about coordination. Her small motor skills are great, but large motor not as strong. Although not clumsy or completely uncoordinated, she struggles with many things. I'm not sure if it's lack of practice/trying or an underlying issue.

To answer a few other questions: We do bike and hike as a family some on weekends. She will not choose either activity, but once we get going she usually does okay. She is an okay swimmer. Very comfortable in the water, but strokes could use refinement and stamina is an issue (I think we will insist on swim lessons again), she enjoys skiing and has decent skills for her age.

Ideally we'd find something she can do and enjoy with peers, but we'll continue to work on things she can do with us in the meantime. I really appreciate all the suggestions and support. I almost didn't post in fear of being told to "parent" and force her to participate in activities.

-OP

I would be ok with dance and let that be the one she picks.
How good of a swimmer is she? I still have my kids do swimming as a non negotiable because we think it is a good life skill for safety reasons, though at some point I guess they'll be good enough at it for life skill purposes that they can stop if they want, but not sure what age that will be yet.
I might ask the gym teacher what the issue is and if you should get something like an OT eval.
If there's no issue I would try some family activities like skiing, rock climbing, maybe archery or fencing and adults can do martial arts too.