Anonymous
Post 11/14/2017 16:38     Subject: MIL reneging on childcare promise
Anonymous wrote:OP here. How about I clarify? This was me "blowing up" after more than two years of comments about us having another baby: "We'll have a baby when we feel ready, it's really not appropriate to keep commenting about it when you don't know the full situation and it isn't your business."

I can assure you MIL is not treated like "trash" at all.

Anyway, the posters saying it's a blessing in disguise are right and I think that's what I believe deep down. I was just reading another thread about little babies getting sick at daycare and it freaked me out and got me overthinking.


Ignore the irritant MIL aspect for now...how well did she care for your child that 1st year? Safe and loved? Did you come home and find the baby in a crib with an ancient poop diaper? Her feeding s/he a bowl of potato chips? Use MIL for care if she did that job well. If everyday was a battle that's another story.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2017 16:08     Subject: MIL reneging on childcare promise
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Team MIL.


+1 I wouldn't work for anyone who blew up at me either.


Grammy here and agree 100%! First, I wouldn't provide daycare for my grandkids (not an issue because my DIL stays at home.). I raised my kids. I love keeping my grandkids occasionally and do so any chance I get! But I'm not a daycare provider. And more importantly, if you blew up at me, there is no way ever I would keep your child.

You made the mess. Deal with it.


Grammy, try a little reading comprehension. OP's MIL repeatedly offered to care for this child. In fact, all but begged OP and her DH to have this child so she could provide childcare.

So yippie for you that you'll never offer to watch your grandkids. That's your decision and one you are totally within your rights to make. But that is not the situation OP finds herself in with a MIL who pulled a bait-and-switch.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2017 15:31     Subject: MIL reneging on childcare promise
Anonymous wrote:OP here. How about I clarify? This was me "blowing up" after more than two years of comments about us having another baby: "We'll have a baby when we feel ready, it's really not appropriate to keep commenting about it when you don't know the full situation and it isn't your business."

I can assure you MIL is not treated like "trash" at all.

Anyway, the posters saying it's a blessing in disguise are right and I think that's what I believe deep down. I was just reading another thread about little babies getting sick at daycare and it freaked me out and got me overthinking.


While I don't disagree with your boundary-setting, it should have been your dh to say it, not you.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2017 15:18     Subject: MIL reneging on childcare promise
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. How about I clarify? This was me "blowing up" after more than two years of comments about us having another baby: "We'll have a baby when we feel ready, it's really not appropriate to keep commenting about it when you don't know the full situation and it isn't your business."

I can assure you MIL is not treated like "trash" at all.

Anyway, the posters saying it's a blessing in disguise are right and I think that's what I believe deep down. I was just reading another thread about little babies getting sick at daycare and it freaked me out and got me overthinking.


Hey, OP. At least try to put your mind at ease about daycare. My son started at about 13 weeks and did just fine. He was too young to have any clue what was even going on (in terms of separation from parents), and seems to really enjoy the stimulation of daycare.


Agree. DD started daycare at 4 months old and while she did get sick at first, it ended up not being a big deal and she absolutely loves daycare. She's a very active ten month old now and by Monday morning, she's so clearly done with our boring house and is clapping and dancing as we walk into daycare.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2017 15:15     Subject: MIL reneging on childcare promise
1) gifts and favors often come with strings attached. You should know this. Those strings can take the form of a lack of boundaries.

2) her offer to provide childcare should not have factored into your decision to have another baby AT ALL. Life happens. Aside from this, who’s to say she wouldn’t get sick and be physically unable to care for a child? Or god forbid die?
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2017 15:00     Subject: MIL reneging on childcare promise
Be prepared for a late change of heart from her closer to your due date. Your DH might be tempted (the money), but I would find it manipulative. Find a daycare and move on.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2017 15:00     Subject: MIL reneging on childcare promise
It's a blessing. She's toxic.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2017 14:55     Subject: MIL reneging on childcare promise
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Team MIL.


+1 I wouldn't work for anyone who blew up at me either.


Grammy here and agree 100%! First, I wouldn't provide daycare for my grandkids (not an issue because my DIL stays at home.). I raised my kids. I love keeping my grandkids occasionally and do so any chance I get! But I'm not a daycare provider. And more importantly, if you blew up at me, there is no way ever I would keep your child.

You made the mess. Deal with it.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2017 14:44     Subject: MIL reneging on childcare promise
Anonymous wrote:OP here. How about I clarify? This was me "blowing up" after more than two years of comments about us having another baby: "We'll have a baby when we feel ready, it's really not appropriate to keep commenting about it when you don't know the full situation and it isn't your business."

I can assure you MIL is not treated like "trash" at all.

Anyway, the posters saying it's a blessing in disguise are right and I think that's what I believe deep down. I was just reading another thread about little babies getting sick at daycare and it freaked me out and got me overthinking.


Hey, OP. At least try to put your mind at ease about daycare. My son started at about 13 weeks and did just fine. He was too young to have any clue what was even going on (in terms of separation from parents), and seems to really enjoy the stimulation of daycare.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2017 14:42     Subject: MIL reneging on childcare promise
Anonymous wrote:Be glad, you will be i. The long run even though it’s a gut punch right now. Consider looking into a nanny or nanny share. Sometimes that’s a less expensive option Han two kids in daycare and definitely less hassle than getting two kids prepped and out the door every morning and evening. Plus they’ll do the kids laundry, dishes, prep bottles etc.


Nanny share is a really good idea I haven't been thinking of. Thank you. -OP
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2017 14:32     Subject: MIL reneging on childcare promise
OP here. How about I clarify? This was me "blowing up" after more than two years of comments about us having another baby: "We'll have a baby when we feel ready, it's really not appropriate to keep commenting about it when you don't know the full situation and it isn't your business."

I can assure you MIL is not treated like "trash" at all.

Anyway, the posters saying it's a blessing in disguise are right and I think that's what I believe deep down. I was just reading another thread about little babies getting sick at daycare and it freaked me out and got me overthinking.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2017 14:20     Subject: MIL reneging on childcare promise
Anonymous wrote:Team MIL.


+1 I wouldn't work for anyone who blew up at me either.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2017 14:16     Subject: MIL reneging on childcare promise
Team MIL.
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2017 14:09     Subject: MIL reneging on childcare promise
Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't watch your kids either if you blew up at me.


Do you routinely harass your son and DIL about their reproductive choices?
Anonymous
Post 11/14/2017 13:58     Subject: MIL reneging on childcare promise
I wouldn't watch your kids either if you blew up at me.