Anonymous
11/05/2017 09:39
Subject: Is “informing someone of a mistake” criticizing?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How much responsibility does Person B have to step it up to try to meet Person A’s standards?
Does Person B benefit from random shards of glass not being in the apartment, even though Person B would allow that while living alone?
In the corner under a cabinet or under the fridge? No
Are there kids in this house? Pets? Is it a magical place where things don't move around and shift? Where the fridge might not scoot out and back in, causing completely unexpected glass in the middle of the floor? This whole thread is bonkers to me. If glass is broken, you clean it up. There is no acceptable amount of broken glass you just live with.
Person A has joined the thread.
Anonymous
11/05/2017 09:34
Subject: Re:Is “informing someone of a mistake” criticizing?
If the person A did not reassemble the pieces to make sure that nothing is missing then person A is still ok.
Anonymous
11/05/2017 09:34
Subject: Is “informing someone of a mistake” criticizing?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How much responsibility does Person B have to step it up to try to meet Person A’s standards?
Does Person B benefit from random shards of glass not being in the apartment, even though Person B would allow that while living alone?
In the corner under a cabinet or under the fridge? No
Are there kids in this house? Pets? Is it a magical place where things don't move around and shift? Where the fridge might not scoot out and back in, causing completely unexpected glass in the middle of the floor? This whole thread is bonkers to me. If glass is broken, you clean it up. There is no acceptable amount of broken glass you just live with.
Anonymous
11/05/2017 09:31
Subject: Is “informing someone of a mistake” criticizing?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How much responsibility does Person B have to step it up to try to meet Person A’s standards?
Does Person B benefit from random shards of glass not being in the apartment, even though Person B would allow that while living alone?
In the corner under a cabinet or under the fridge? No
Anonymous
11/05/2017 09:30
Subject: Is “informing someone of a mistake” criticizing?
Anonymous wrote:How much responsibility does Person B have to step it up to try to meet Person A’s standards?
Does Person B benefit from random shards of glass not being in the apartment, even though Person B would allow that while living alone?
Anonymous
11/05/2017 09:27
Subject: Is “informing someone of a mistake” criticizing?
Men shouldn't be corrected, women should expected to be
Anonymous
11/05/2017 09:26
Subject: Re:Is “informing someone of a mistake” criticizing?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I can believe Person A is too particular, but Person B is overcorrecting if he/she thinks leaving shards of glass big enough to hold in hand is acceptable. Getting every last barely visible piece of glass is a pain, but a pretty good idea. If I were Person A, I might go a little insane with a partner who thinks leaving some glass is fine, and in turn overcorrect as a result. Maybe you two are doing it to each other.
You're dwelling on the example and missing the bigger picture that OP is using this one example to convey.
Well it's a poor example and I have no reason to assume this is every single interaction.
Anonymous
11/05/2017 09:22
Subject: Re:Is “informing someone of a mistake” criticizing?
Anonymous wrote:I can believe Person A is too particular, but Person B is overcorrecting if he/she thinks leaving shards of glass big enough to hold in hand is acceptable. Getting every last barely visible piece of glass is a pain, but a pretty good idea. If I were Person A, I might go a little insane with a partner who thinks leaving some glass is fine, and in turn overcorrect as a result. Maybe you two are doing it to each other.
You're dwelling on the example and missing the bigger picture that OP is using this one example to convey.
OP, if the other person is your significant other/spouse, it sounds as if some serious commitment to couples therapy is needed as you're both stuck in a very damaging dynamic. Think hard about what attracted you to this person and what is positive about this person, and weigh carefully whether you and he or she --and you -- will take therapy seriously and commit to changes that will come up in therapy. If Every. Little. Interaction. is like the example, you shouldn't go on without either working on the dynamic behind the problem or working on getting out of the relationship.
Anonymous
11/05/2017 09:21
Subject: Is “informing someone of a mistake” criticizing?
Anonymous wrote:we know you are person B, OP.
That said, taking a flashlight to get under the fridge glass is silly. That can wait til next time.
It seems like nobody on Person B's side has ever had their foot penetrated by shift/crumbling old glass shards.
Anonymous
11/05/2017 09:20
Subject: Is “informing someone of a mistake” criticizing?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Dad, is that you? Mom is tired of cleaning up after you and tired of your passive-agressive attitude to household participation. Mom is also tired of having more work because you did a crappy job on your household chores. She wouldn't have had to deal with an ant infestation if you could sweep properly.
Also, your grown kids don't like cleaning your messes any more than Mom did. A grown man should be able to clear his own plate from the table and help clean up after dinner without being asked. This is why when we see you it is mostly inviting you for dinner out rather than inviting you to spend the weekend at the house like we do with Mom. (Yeah, you got divorced because after we left the house, Mom wised up and realized that she was taking care of one man-child who would never grow up. So she left the nest instead.)
Person B is generally the one responsible for cooking, loading/unloading dishwasher, and washing dishes.
Is Person A critical on that as well? If Person A is critical for something they are never responsible for, that is a legitimate criticism of Person A. If Person A is critical of something they're overly responsible for, then that is not. In this scenario, Person B did less working knowing Person A would cover for them, in a task that was not the directly responsibility of either person. Person A is at least allowed to note mistakes in that scenario.
Anonymous
11/05/2017 09:19
Subject: Is “informing someone of a mistake” criticizing?
Anonymous wrote:You are both exhausting. Person A is soul sucking and person B is doing a bad job on purpose.
What if Person B is not going a bad job on purpose. Person B is not performing to Person A’s standards and could try harder to meet the standards. But, Person B is performing to the standard that they would be happy with if they lived alone. How much responsibility does Person B have to step it up to try to meet Person A’s standards?
Anonymous
11/05/2017 09:19
Subject: Is “informing someone of a mistake” criticizing?
we know you are person B, OP.
That said, taking a flashlight to get under the fridge glass is silly. That can wait til next time.
That said, taking a flashlight to get under the fridge glass is silly. That can wait til next time.
Anonymous
11/05/2017 09:15
Subject: Is “informing someone of a mistake” criticizing?
Anonymous wrote:Dad, is that you? Mom is tired of cleaning up after you and tired of your passive-agressive attitude to household participation. Mom is also tired of having more work because you did a crappy job on your household chores. She wouldn't have had to deal with an ant infestation if you could sweep properly.
Also, your grown kids don't like cleaning your messes any more than Mom did. A grown man should be able to clear his own plate from the table and help clean up after dinner without being asked. This is why when we see you it is mostly inviting you for dinner out rather than inviting you to spend the weekend at the house like we do with Mom. (Yeah, you got divorced because after we left the house, Mom wised up and realized that she was taking care of one man-child who would never grow up. So she left the nest instead.)
Person B is generally the one responsible for cooking, loading/unloading dishwasher, and washing dishes.
Anonymous
11/05/2017 09:14
Subject: Is “informing someone of a mistake” criticizing?
You are both exhausting. Person A is soul sucking and person B is doing a bad job on purpose.
Anonymous
11/05/2017 09:14
Subject: Is “informing someone of a mistake” criticizing?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Jeeze. Would person B have left glass on the floor had person A not stepped in and vacuumed?
Yes? Well, then, Person B really does need to step it up.
No? Person A needs to chill.
Person B would have removed glass and vaccumed if they had been home alone when it happened. There is potential that Person B would have missed a piece of glass that flew far away or under the fridge.
Person A would have removed everything from the kitchen to sweep and vaccum and then used a flashlight to examine the crevices and make sure no glass was missed.
Person B knows Person A is overly particular, took the task of picking up the big pieces, and then purposely left big pieces? Was Person B baiting Person A? That doesn't seem healthy.
Person B didn’t knowingly leave big pieces behind, but probably did a less borough job than they normally would have knowing Person A would be going over it again.