Anonymous wrote:My DD's friend told a bunch of kids at school today that she is pansexual. This is not a statement that I would expect from an 11 year old. Not sure what to make of this.

pp here.

This happened a lot when my kids were in MS recently. It's a label the friend is experimenting with -- it's possibly she truly IS this, but more likely it'll be something else later in life. They spend a lot of time talking to impressionable kids about tolerance and gays and lesbians and the like, so some kids do ultimately end up "trying on" the various labels.

It's not just sexuality. My daughter experimented with cutting after an academic unit on "self harm" -- she probably would never had had the idea to do this without the school introducing the concept to her. She did it only once or twice and very superficially, but it happened.

Another kid started talking about wanting to die after a lot of lessons about suicide awareness. That triggered a bunch of protocols. The kid wasn't actually suicidal, but he got a lot of attention.

The flip side of all of this well-meaning awareness is that some impressionable kids who are prone to drama get ideas.

Anyway, it's not YOUR kid, so there's nothing for YOU to do about it except be kind to the child if she's in your home, just like you would be to any other child.

Anonymous wrote:11 years old? My 11 year old isn't exploring his sexuality and wouldn't know the words for it even if he was. Who exposes their kid to this kind of stuff? Let kids be kids.

Kids expose it to other kids. I wouldn't have thought my daughter knew what it meant either, but when I asked her if she knew what It was, she said yes (and explained it).

Anonymous wrote:She’s probably spending a lot of time reading about gender/orientation issues on Tumblr. She likes the idea of being able to love anyone, regardless of gender, cis/trans, etc. She also probably likes being the “woke” kid in her grade when most of her peers don’t know what pansexual even means. So a little attention seeking and a lot of good intentions, most likely. It may or may not stick. She’ll be fine.

-6th grade teacher who sees one of these kids every year or so.

OP here. Actually my daughter already knew what Pansexual meant before her friend announced it.

I assume it means that she doesn't know yet who she is attracted to so she is open to possibilities (not that she's actually attracted to everyone). My sons friend said that in 6tg grade too but now in 8th says he's only interested romantically in boys.

This new trend where pre-pubescent children feel the need to declare a label for their sexual preferences has got to stop.,

Anonymous wrote:It's really just bisexual but includes being attracted or being open to being attracted to people who are transgender or non gender binary.

I wonder what our grandparents' generation would say if they could read stuff like "just bisexual".

Anyway, I read the OP and had to look up the official definition: adjective "not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity."

So I'd interpret that to mean basically turned on by everyone and everything. Which I'd suppose was almost certainly said for shock value, since apparently it's not that unique or interesting to be "just bisexual" anymore.

It's really just bisexual but includes being attracted or being open to being attracted to people who are transgender or non gender binary.

Kid sounds like she has problems. I.wouldnt ban the relationship, but I definitely would not encourage it. I certainly would not allow anymore sleepovers with this kid.

Last year, in 7th grade, a girl in my ds' class told him she was pansexual. She was 12. I said I didn't know what that meant but he did because she told him. She continued to bring it up often though he hardly knew her and was not interested in the conversation.

He said that she described it as being open to a sexual relationship of any kind with anyone, she wouldn't turn anyone away.

Your kids are watching porn after school. Great parenting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tend to agree with the "make nothing of it" idea. Adults shouldn't shame the child in ANY way but don't need to make it out as a big, life-altering deal. An 11 year old is allowed to explore their romantic preferences (and by saying this, I don't mean dating or sex of course) as much as anyone else. Pansexual means they're open to loving any person. As long as they aren't harming anyone by telling them this (and I'm not sure how) then this is perfectly fine! They will solidify how they identify when they grow up and enter the dating world.

They are harming themselves. Thus it is not "perfectly fine."

How?

Yeah. How? If anything, I think people with attitudes like you are harming them more.

Anonymous wrote:
She's trying to be original in the sexual identity department.

It's really hard to do that these days

In other words, ignore.

The whole sexual identity thing has become the go-to place for 12-18 year olds. Five years ago you would have been damned and beaten had you revealed that you were changing sexes or thought that you were. Now its cool and the insecure types run and hide under the rainbow and the rest of their peer group think that they are the coolest ever.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tend to agree with the "make nothing of it" idea. Adults shouldn't shame the child in ANY way but don't need to make it out as a big, life-altering deal. An 11 year old is allowed to explore their romantic preferences (and by saying this, I don't mean dating or sex of course) as much as anyone else. Pansexual means they're open to loving any person. As long as they aren't harming anyone by telling them this (and I'm not sure how) then this is perfectly fine! They will solidify how they identify when they grow up and enter the dating world.

They are harming themselves. Thus it is not "perfectly fine."

How?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That the child has a very vivid imagination, little parental supervision at home, and probably not someone I would want my kid hanging around with.

. WAy to be open minded ! All kids are trying on different identities from 5th to 9th grade. They sort it out by 20th, but it’s confusing so please shut your mouth and open your ears.

Sorry, but being "open-minded" about something like this when an 11 year old is involved is Idiocy in Action.

Exactly.

Anonymous wrote:I tend to agree with the "make nothing of it" idea. Adults shouldn't shame the child in ANY way but don't need to make it out as a big, life-altering deal. An 11 year old is allowed to explore their romantic preferences (and by saying this, I don't mean dating or sex of course) as much as anyone else. Pansexual means they're open to loving any person. As long as they aren't harming anyone by telling them this (and I'm not sure how) then this is perfectly fine! They will solidify how they identify when they grow up and enter the dating world.

They are harming themselves. Thus it is not "perfectly fine."