Skittles
11/01/2017 12:27
Subject: Re:Husband Buys All My Clothes and Selects My WardRobe Daily plus Controlling
Didn't realize your husband was a knock off Donald Trump.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 13:59
Subject: Husband Buys All My Clothes and Selects My WardRobe Daily plus Controlling
Obviously this is not normal. You know it’s not.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 13:58
Subject: Husband Buys All My Clothes and Selects My WardRobe Daily plus Controlling
Holy shit.
If you're happy living this way, then, ok, I guess.
But what are you teaching your children about healthy relationships? That they can only exist with surveillance? Does he do this to your kids, too?
If you're happy living this way, then, ok, I guess.
But what are you teaching your children about healthy relationships? That they can only exist with surveillance? Does he do this to your kids, too?
Anonymous
10/30/2017 13:12
Subject: Re:Husband Buys All My Clothes and Selects My WardRobe Daily plus Controlling
Anonymous wrote:OP I think it's important to understand why you are questioning this behavior now? Are your kids old enough that they just started not needing you as much? Has there been a change in your life (parent death? relocation? empty nest?)
More than finding his behavior odd is that you are questioning it now. From someone who has been married for about 20 years, I realize that we sort of get set in our ways and our patterns and our interactions with each other. It becomes the norm (when maybe at the beginning we would have thought a behavior or quirk was odd). So, it is VERY interesting to me that instead of you getting more set in your ways with your DH, you are suddenly questioning a behavior (and now habit) that has been happening all your marriage.
A simpler example would be if your DH had to drink coffee with honey before peeing every morning. Maybe some would think it odd, but you've been seeing it for decades and now it is something that is quite normal and a routine to you. Then, one day you wake up and out of the blue start questioning why he does that and how it bothers you. It's more disturbing that you are just now asking about this than the fact that he does this.
I agree that it's a little strange that the OP is questioning this behavior now. I disagree that it's "more disturbing" than her husband controlling her appearance and movements for 20 years.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 12:46
Subject: Husband Buys All My Clothes and Selects My WardRobe Daily plus Controlling
Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not normal. My husband has never bought my clothes or our kids clothes.
My husband has, but ....
1. he's the main parent
2. I think he's bought me clothes like three times and I've known him for 15 years.
OP, your husband is abusive. Whether or not you are fat, there ARE other men who would be attracted to you, either in spite of you being fat or partially because you're fat. In a healthy relationship BOTH people go out with friends without their spouses sometimes.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 12:42
Subject: Husband Buys All My Clothes and Selects My WardRobe Daily plus Controlling
Anonymous wrote:This is abusive behavior. He wants power and control over you. This is not healthy. I would seek out domestic violence services in your area.
DC: SAFE - 202-879-0720
Montgomery County: Family Justice Center - 240-773-0444
VA: (703) 237-0881
If he tracks your phone - then be careful and try to use a number that he doesn't have access to.
also read about healthy relationships and evaluate the health of your relationahip at liveisrespect.org
please also think about what kind of roles you are thinking about modeling for your kids. You think you are doing your kids a favor by staying together, but in reality you have taught your daughter that this level of control by a husband over a wife is normal. You are also teaching your son that your husband's behaviour is that of a "good husband".
They are older so it will take them years of therapy and failed/unhappy relationships before they figure out the negative impact your behaviour has had on them.
Or you can teach them what normal and healthy self-worth and interpersonal relationships are like.
Your choice. BTW, doing nothing is a choice.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 12:07
Subject: Husband Buys All My Clothes and Selects My WardRobe Daily plus Controlling
I buy my wife clothes occasionally because I think she's hot and I love to see her wearing something new. I'd never be able to tell her what to wear though - that wouldn't go down well at all. I just have to order stuff and hope she likes it enough to wear it.
As far as facetime, only when she's traveling and my son and I want to see/chat with her.
If this isn't a troll post your husband is a control freak.
As far as facetime, only when she's traveling and my son and I want to see/chat with her.
If this isn't a troll post your husband is a control freak.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 12:03
Subject: Re:Husband Buys All My Clothes and Selects My WardRobe Daily plus Controlling
OP I think it's important to understand why you are questioning this behavior now? Are your kids old enough that they just started not needing you as much? Has there been a change in your life (parent death? relocation? empty nest?)
More than finding his behavior odd is that you are questioning it now. From someone who has been married for about 20 years, I realize that we sort of get set in our ways and our patterns and our interactions with each other. It becomes the norm (when maybe at the beginning we would have thought a behavior or quirk was odd). So, it is VERY interesting to me that instead of you getting more set in your ways with your DH, you are suddenly questioning a behavior (and now habit) that has been happening all your marriage.
A simpler example would be if your DH had to drink coffee with honey before peeing every morning. Maybe some would think it odd, but you've been seeing it for decades and now it is something that is quite normal and a routine to you. Then, one day you wake up and out of the blue start questioning why he does that and how it bothers you. It's more disturbing that you are just now asking about this than the fact that he does this.
More than finding his behavior odd is that you are questioning it now. From someone who has been married for about 20 years, I realize that we sort of get set in our ways and our patterns and our interactions with each other. It becomes the norm (when maybe at the beginning we would have thought a behavior or quirk was odd). So, it is VERY interesting to me that instead of you getting more set in your ways with your DH, you are suddenly questioning a behavior (and now habit) that has been happening all your marriage.
A simpler example would be if your DH had to drink coffee with honey before peeing every morning. Maybe some would think it odd, but you've been seeing it for decades and now it is something that is quite normal and a routine to you. Then, one day you wake up and out of the blue start questioning why he does that and how it bothers you. It's more disturbing that you are just now asking about this than the fact that he does this.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 11:53
Subject: Re:Husband Buys All My Clothes and Selects My WardRobe Daily plus Controlling
I'm surprised that you work outside the home because most men that are this controlling want to know WHERE AND WHAT their wives are doing all the time and they also want to limit other human interaction.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 11:48
Subject: Husband Buys All My Clothes and Selects My WardRobe Daily plus Controlling
Does he pick out your undergarments too? Does he make you wait for him to use the restroom? This has been going on for at least 22 years and you are just discovering it's abnormal? This never came up before? You didn't compliment a co-worker: "I love the outfit your husband dressed you in. Where did he gets it?" and have them give you funny looks/replies?
Anonymous
10/30/2017 11:41
Subject: Husband Buys All My Clothes and Selects My WardRobe Daily plus Controlling
Male here, I buy my wife clothes that are or similar to things that she says she likes. Never telling her or selecting her wordrobe for the day.
Your husband sounds f'ing crazy and extremely insecure. We all have issues but he has a jumbo jet full of issues.
Start setting this up to leave. The more you do, the more comfortable you will be with being on your own.
Next time he lays your clothes out, leave them there and put on something you feel comfortable in. If he tried to argue, don't engage. Talk about anything else but that.
You need to begin the process of breaking his pimp hand.
Your husband sounds f'ing crazy and extremely insecure. We all have issues but he has a jumbo jet full of issues.
Start setting this up to leave. The more you do, the more comfortable you will be with being on your own.
Next time he lays your clothes out, leave them there and put on something you feel comfortable in. If he tried to argue, don't engage. Talk about anything else but that.
You need to begin the process of breaking his pimp hand.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 11:30
Subject: Husband Buys All My Clothes and Selects My WardRobe Daily plus Controlling
Anonymous wrote:Melania you don't have to take this
+1
Anonymous
10/30/2017 11:15
Subject: Husband Buys All My Clothes and Selects My WardRobe Daily plus Controlling
Melania you don't have to take this
Anonymous
10/30/2017 11:10
Subject: Re:Husband Buys All My Clothes and Selects My WardRobe Daily plus Controlling
oh god, no OP, this is not normal and not acceptable (unless, as someone said, its in the context of a mutually agreed upon relationship).
Let's put this in perspective .My husband has on a few occasions in 10 pls years suggested I wear something he likes very much--if we're going out somewhere together, but that's it and its on the level of "why don't you wear that sexy black dress? you look great in it" and usually said when I express frustration over what to wear. He would never critique my appearance or tell me what to do or ask me to check in with him during the day. I travel a lot and we FaceTime when we're apart, but that's normal. Nor would he ever put me down and tell me no one else would want me.
You say your daughter turned out wonderfully, but do you think she's accepted that this is normal? Will she get involved with a controlling and emotionally abusive man? I suggest you start seeing a therapist.
Let's put this in perspective .My husband has on a few occasions in 10 pls years suggested I wear something he likes very much--if we're going out somewhere together, but that's it and its on the level of "why don't you wear that sexy black dress? you look great in it" and usually said when I express frustration over what to wear. He would never critique my appearance or tell me what to do or ask me to check in with him during the day. I travel a lot and we FaceTime when we're apart, but that's normal. Nor would he ever put me down and tell me no one else would want me.
You say your daughter turned out wonderfully, but do you think she's accepted that this is normal? Will she get involved with a controlling and emotionally abusive man? I suggest you start seeing a therapist.
Anonymous
10/30/2017 11:06
Subject: Husband Buys All My Clothes and Selects My WardRobe Daily plus Controlling
Absolutely not normal. My husband has never bought my clothes or our kids clothes.