Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is doing overnights for his sport.

You think I should tell the coaches my son can't do an overnight?

The HS athletes are usually pretty well supervised when they travel for sports and they don't play against college teams on college campuses....so there is that.

It's not travel sports. My son is doing overnight visits with college kids in their dorms. All recruited athletes do it. They don't go as a team.

A college coach invites your child to their campus for an official visit and they stay with and are entertained by the college student athletes.

http://www.ncaa.org/student-athletes/future/eligibility-center/what-official-visit

Your son has been recruited to attend the college. I don't know how wild and crazy these official campus visits get. I would assume that the hosting students wouldn't allow things to get too out of line. But that is only a guess.

I too consider myself lucky that I got through my high school years unscathed. I remember going to UGA in highschool several times with girl friends. Went to frat parties. Saw all kinds of new things but the one that stuck with me is its the first time I saw coke (but did not partake). I was a bit of a wild child but had enough common sense to avoid the most dangerous stuff.

My parents were as clueless as they come. My kids wont be so "lucky" as there is very little they would be able to get by me. Plus, I talk to them all the time about how easy it is to find yourself in a bad situation if you make one bad choice. Things snowball fast.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is doing overnights for his sport.

You think I should tell the coaches my son can't do an overnight?

The HS athletes are usually pretty well supervised when they travel for sports and they don't play against college teams on college campuses....so there is that.

It's not travel sports. My son is doing overnight visits with college kids in their dorms. All recruited athletes do it. They don't go as a team.

A college coach invites your child to their campus for an official visit and they stay with and are entertained by the college student athletes.

http://www.ncaa.org/student-athletes/future/eligibility-center/what-official-visit

I went to a Penn State Halloween party when I was 16 because my brother invited me for the weekend. He watched me like a hawk the entire time. It was fun and I learned never to drink grain alcohol again.

Anonymous wrote:My son is doing overnights for his sport.

You think I should tell the coaches my son can't do an overnight?

The HS athletes are usually pretty well supervised when they travel for sports and they don't play against college teams on college campuses....so there is that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all are being unfair, it is more important to make sure your kid knows you are their friend than actually parenting them. I know far too many parents that have told their kids to do stuff then the kids no longer like them.

TROLL. Nice try.

Pretty sure PP was being sarcastic.

My son is doing overnights for his sport.

You think I should tell the coaches my son can't do an overnight?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you assume the parents knew anything about it? I would have brought different clothes with me and sneaked over to the party after telling my parents I was sleeping at a friend's house at that age. We would have told her parents something similar. I partied a lot this way in high school (and I also got top grades at a demanding private).

+1 and thank my lucky stars I didn’t get raped, or become pregnant, or have alcohol poisoning, etc.! Doesn’t mean I condone or recommend this to my teen now that I am an adult. And my folks were clueless/distracted.

Thank God you have the experience to have perspective in your parenting and to teach your own teens. OP is pointing fingers, and that is the absolute WORST way to handle this type of situation. You can't raise teens by pointing fingers. It doesn't work that way.

OP, are you foreign, raised by foreign parents, or both? Because I find your cluelessness to be something that is prevalent in these circles. My advice is for you to watch YOUR OWN KID. I know your M.O. is blaming someone else, but that is not going to work when you are raising teens.

The most self righteous parents of high school teens that I have seen have by far the most troublesome teens. By far.

Anonymous wrote:Why would you assume the parents knew anything about it? I would have brought different clothes with me and sneaked over to the party after telling my parents I was sleeping at a friend's house at that age. We would have told her parents something similar. I partied a lot this way in high school (and I also got top grades at a demanding private).

+1 and thank my lucky stars I didn’t get raped, or become pregnant, or have alcohol poisoning, etc.! Doesn’t mean I condone or recommend this to my teen now that I am an adult. And my folks were clueless/distracted.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, what sort of parent allows this? College frat creeps invite young teen girls because they're so naive and gullible. I didn't believe my daughter when she said dozens of girls from school were at colleges all weekend, then she showed me the snapchat stories and instagram posts. Wow!

While I agree OP, you sound extremely alarmist and extremely sheltered about the situation. You do you - stop worrying about what the other parents allow and don't allow, because it sounds like you are looking for fault for when your teen screws up (and they will, you are NOT immune). Enough with the finger pointing, because you will lose any credibility you had that way (both with other parents, and anyone else). You look at your family, and what works best for you. You discipline your family, and enforce your rules - mind your own.

Why would you assume the parents knew anything about it? I would have brought different clothes with me and sneaked over to the party after telling my parents I was sleeping at a friend's house at that age. We would have told her parents something similar. I partied a lot this way in high school (and I also got top grades at a demanding private).

Anonymous wrote:When I read posts like this, I sometimes wonder if I'm the only person in the DC area who actually went to high school herself. No, I wouldn't want my high schoolers going to drunken college parties, but how is it shocking to anyone that this happens? It happened when we were kids, why would our kids be different? Know your kids, know your kids friends, have a check-in system, make sure they know your expectation and the consequences for failing to meet them. It's not a guarantee that they won't get in trouble, but it goes a long way.

+1

Judging and trying to police other peoples' children only draws attention to you and your child, and gets you and your child shunned. Mind your own house and mind your own children and stop worrying about WTH everyone else is doing - because you really have no idea. None.

Anonymous wrote:You all are being unfair, it is more important to make sure your kid knows you are their friend than actually parenting them. I know far too many parents that have told their kids to do stuff then the kids no longer like them.

TROLL. Nice try.

When I read posts like this, I sometimes wonder if I'm the only person in the DC area who actually went to high school herself. No, I wouldn't want my high schoolers going to drunken college parties, but how is it shocking to anyone that this happens? It happened when we were kids, why would our kids be different? Know your kids, know your kids friends, have a check-in system, make sure they know your expectation and the consequences for failing to meet them. It's not a guarantee that they won't get in trouble, but it goes a long way.