nclax
Post 11/03/2017 02:16     Subject: Why do some moms who can't stay at home, judge moms who choose to work?..
Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine who wishes she could stay at home but can not due to financial reasons. She became annoyed when I informed her I will be working PT.
I will admit, I know we are very blessing financially, but my choosing to work has nothing to do with our finances. I love working, and while I stayed at home for 2 years, I'm reading to transition back into my career, starting small and hoping to up my hours.
I love her dearly and as a friend, it hurt me to hear her scoff me for basically choosing to do what makes me happy. I'd like to think working has many blessings. I will not be as stressed as a mother, and being happy will enable me to function better, and dedicate more time to being the best mother I could possibly be. My friend didn't have time to hear any of this, her comment was abrupt and well to diffuse the situation, I changed topics.
I'm still stewing over this though. Should I call and ask her to meet me to work out this issue?.. I don't want things to get awkward between us. ...


I'm not sure what everyone else's problem is, but I feel your pain. I enjoy working and have a good career and salary, but it's not necessary for our financial survival. Daycare would eat over 1/2 of my salary so we chose a nanny, but I don't have to work. However, I love my career and working DOES make me a more engaged, fulfilled, and happy parent. My kids get the best part of me because I'm more than willing/able to fake it til I make it for 3-4 hours a day. 24/7 would be the OUTSIDE of too much.

I wouldn't say anymore to her except to say that you're sorry she doesn't see it your way. Not everyone has the option to stay home. But I, like you, would generally always choose a career I loved over the SAHM life.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2017 16:15     Subject: Why do some moms who can't stay at home, judge moms who choose to work?..
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Did you say that working part time would be less stressful than staying at home and make you a better mother? Because as a working mom in the same situation as your friend, the implication that working moms have less stress is rude and oftentimes incorrect, especially if they don't have money to throw at their problems.


It’s obvious you have never stayed home with young kids. Imagine having your thoughts interrupted every 2 minutes all day long. And never ever getting a day off. My job IS a break from my kids. Having balance is what makes me a better mother.


Different poster but I stayed home with two young kids, including one who was sick his first 18 months and neither of whom slept through the night the first year. It was much, much easier than working.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2017 14:06     Subject: Why do some moms who can't stay at home, judge moms who choose to work?..
Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine who wishes she could stay at home but can not due to financial reasons. She became annoyed when I informed her I will be working PT.
I will admit, I know we are very blessing financially, but my choosing to work has nothing to do with our finances. I love working, and while I stayed at home for 2 years, I'm reading to transition back into my career, starting small and hoping to up my hours.
I love her dearly and as a friend, it hurt me to hear her scoff me for basically choosing to do what makes me happy. I'd like to think working has many blessings. I will not be as stressed as a mother, and being happy will enable me to function better, and dedicate more time to being the best mother I could possibly be. My friend didn't have time to hear any of this, her comment was abrupt and well to diffuse the situation, I changed topics.
I'm still stewing over this though. Should I call and ask her to meet me to work out this issue?.. I don't want things to get awkward between us. ...


Right. You rubbed it in and you know you did. Not all women want to stay home but clearly your friend did.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2017 11:11     Subject: Why do some moms who can't stay at home, judge moms who choose to work?..
Anonymous wrote:
Are you sure she scoffed? Perhaps you're reading too much into her response? I don't understand why working part-time after staying home would elicit a scoffing.

And since I stayed home when our HHI was less than 80K (with one child who had special needs), the excuse that people don't have enough money to stay home always strikes me as very... suspicious. They just don't want to have to sacrifice their lifestyle. Not the same thing.




I agree with your first paragraph, but your second one is a bit presumptuous. It may not be about one’s present lifestyle, but future earnings and ability to save. Not everyone’s definition of what it means tp be able to afford to stay at home is the same.

OP - if the way your spoke to your friend is the same way you worded your post, she likely thinks you beleive it is harder to SAH than work. She may not be mad about it, but likely thinks your are a bit off for thinking it is easier (recognizing that better for a person and easier for a person are to different things).
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2017 00:05     Subject: Why do some moms who can't stay at home, judge moms who choose to work?..
Anonymous wrote:Because they can’t hack it doing both and can’t accept that kids of working moms have the same relationships with their parents and succeed just as well in life.


Well someone clearly didn't even read the OP, and just decided to jump right in with a slam on SAHMs. Try reading next time, twit. The friend works and *can't* stay home, though she would dearly love to.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2017 19:40     Subject: Why do some moms who can't stay at home, judge moms who choose to work?..
Anonymous wrote:Did you say that working part time would be less stressful than staying at home and make you a better mother? Because as a working mom in the same situation as your friend, the implication that working moms have less stress is rude and oftentimes incorrect, especially if they don't have money to throw at their problems.


It’s obvious you have never stayed home with young kids. Imagine having your thoughts interrupted every 2 minutes all day long. And never ever getting a day off. My job IS a break from my kids. Having balance is what makes me a better mother.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2017 19:22     Subject: Why do some moms who can't stay at home, judge moms who choose to work?..

Are you sure she scoffed? Perhaps you're reading too much into her response? I don't understand why working part-time after staying home would elicit a scoffing.

And since I stayed home when our HHI was less than 80K (with one child who had special needs), the excuse that people don't have enough money to stay home always strikes me as very... suspicious. They just don't want to have to sacrifice their lifestyle. Not the same thing.


Anonymous
Post 10/27/2017 19:17     Subject: Re:Why do some moms who can't stay at home, judge moms who choose to work?..
She's probably jealous and got annoyed because she was upset that she can't do the same thing. I was only able to make PT work financially and professionally viable for about a year but it really was the best of both worlds, wish I could do it again.

Sometimes people are not good at keeping their dissatisfaction with their own lives out of their interactions with others (I know, it's a weakness of mine). Maybe try to take the high road here, have some compassion and let it go.
Anonymous
Post 10/27/2017 17:51     Subject: Why do some moms who can't stay at home, judge moms who choose to work?..
Anonymous wrote:Because they can’t hack it doing both and can’t accept that kids of working moms have the same relationships with their parents and succeed just as well in life.


Learn to read.