Anonymous wrote:so over feeling she tries to out do everything.

This is your feeling, so you're the person who can change how you respond to it.

If she IS intentionally trying to out do you that's a ridiculous goal on her part. (Like if she got pregnant because you did? Crazy.) If this were the case, the best thing is to live your own life and not get involved with her craziness.

But it seems equally (or more!) likely that you are over-interpreting things. And stop listening to what MIL says about "Betsy." Base your relationship with her on her own interactions with you. She wasn't over-the-moon that you're getting into a Ph.D. program? Maybe she had heartburn and her uncle was dying so wasn't in a congratulatory mood. At the very least, she didn't say anything dismissive (and you know you can't trust what your MIL says she said about popping out babies, right?).

Anonymous wrote:The fact that your mother In law tried to downplay what your cousin meant by what she said tells me that you have a reputation within the family of being touchy and perhaps difficult. Quit looking for feuds

+1

Drop your end of the rope. You'll probably find she isn't holding the other end. This sounds like it is all on you.

The fact that your mother In law tried to downplay what your cousin meant by what she said tells me that you have a reputation within the family of being touchy and perhaps difficult. Quit looking for feuds

Well, op, if she's as petty as you are making her out to be, nothing will drive her more insane than if you simply refuse to engage in any drama. When someone asks you how the program is going you answer honestly. If she interjects herself and brings up her accomolishmenrs smile nod and continue answering about your program. Or simply remove yourself.

Live your life. Ignore the drama.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I’ve been an emotional mess. Sorry if I don’t make sense. I don’t know if it’s hormones or what. The point is that I’m over her trying to rain on our parade. She didn’t seem too happy when I brought up the news that I was accepted into my program, to be honest that was a huge red flag. Is it too hard to be happy for someone when they finally see their hard work pay off?.. She expected everyone to attend her graduation party and a lot of acknowledgment! She acts like I’m getting in the way of her “spotlight” and so to me this is her way to trying to get the spotlight back if you will.

You said in your OP that her Ph.D. wasn't a big deal and you don't understand why people brag about her for being in her program ("I don't get why the fuss. It's not like it's uncommon."). That's the attitude you've been giving her since you met; why should she be happier for you than you are for her?

You're. Projecting. Your. Own. Insecurities. Onto. This. Woman.

This. Grow up OP. I can only imagine what she'd write about you!

First, functional, educated adults to not use the term "hubby." FFS. Second, I hope your degree program teaches you the appropriate use of exclamation points.
Third, you seem to imply that your SIL got pregnant solely because you did, in an effort to upstage you. That is narcissistic on a level that is difficult for mere mortals to imagine. Get your head out of your ass.

You are focusing on this lady and hypothesizing how people may feel about her/you way too much. Let it go! You're going to make yourself miserable. If you try to read something negative into every interaction, you will.

Anonymous wrote:If PhDs are no big deal then why are you seeking attention about yours?

You sound like the jealous one. Don't go looking for trouble.

Maybe try some pre-natal yoga to chill out.

Exactly! Why does the OP care if her cousin-in-law's mother fawns all over her? Does it really matter? Is she that desperate for someone to validate her choices?

You seem to be the one turning this into a thing, op. You need to stand down and let go.

If PhDs are no big deal then why are you seeking attention about yours?

You sound like the jealous one. Don't go looking for trouble.

Maybe try some pre-natal yoga to chill out.

You seem to be majorly overreacting. Sure, it may be hormones, but you just sound like a miserable person. Don't cause everyone to walk on eggshells around you. You sound insecure and a bit crazy. Get it together.

Please get a real problem and then come back for advice.

Anonymous wrote:Her husband and SHE got engaged
SHE and her hubby got engaged

Yikes!

If this lady can get a PhD, then anyone can!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your skin is too thin, OP.

Why does she need to be happy for you? So what? I hate to pile on with the pp's but you haven't listed anything concrete this woman has done wrong. If there's any competition it could be entirely in your mind, but even if there is, just ignore.