I think for a lot of men, playing hard to get does work. When I was single, I had tons more success when I followed the Rules. I know people says it's about having a full life, but even when I had an extremely full life I still noticed a huge difference when I added in playing hard to get. My own brother is a good example- he dated a woman who was stunningly beautiful and successful, but he had zero respect for her because she was too "easy". He then was smitten with a woman who was far uglier and was going nowhere in life but she played games, like disappearing for days at a time, going out with other guys, not answering calls, etc.

So yea, games work, but I eventually realized I don't *want* a guy I have to play games with. There are plenty of great guys who will still care about you even if you're a little too available. They may not be as attractive or make as much money, but they make better long term partners.

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. For me, and if i were younger and if I just wanted to sleep with you (i.e., short term fling of sorts), then perhaps.

But I'm just too far removed from the post-college scene to be playing games. I'm a single dad, early 40s with a great high income career. I am only interested in women who want a serious relationship. This means a mature woman who knows what she wants and doesn't play childish games.

I get that but the thing is that a serious relationship unfolds and grows naturally, that means over time. You can't press a button or announce that ok, starting today we are in a serious relationship. It has to build up. You cannot fast-track closeness or intimacy -if you feel close and intimate quickly, that means you're projecting your own ideas onto a person vs. seeing a real person. Wanting a serious relationship doesn't mean going on all cylinders immediately. if a relationship is meant to be serious, it will grow to that point naturally over time.

Anonymous wrote:37 year old male here. There is a difference between playing hard to get and making it known you want to be persued. The hard to get thing says convince me that you are good enough. The wanting to persued says I know my self worth, show me you do to.

Wow, this is so perceptive. Never thought of it this way. Did you read about this somewhere and can yo elaborate?

37 year old male here. There is a difference between playing hard to get and making it known you want to be persued. The hard to get thing says convince me that you are good enough. The wanting to persued says I know my self worth, show me you do to.

Anonymous wrote:The fact that when it became too easy for him, he moved away is proof enough that being a little harder to get works. If you're sure this guy is the ONE (amazing man and will be a legendary father), buy the Rules book and practice them religiously on him. You'll have a ring on your finger in 6 months to a year.

Read the comment right after yours and stop being silly.

I guess that part of this depends on how you read the guy's comments. It sounds like he likes her a lot but feels that they dove in together to quickly. He forthrightly told her about this because he doesn't want his lowering of the tempo to come across as him being not interested. As punishment for him feeling the same way as her, she wants to subject him to a lot of manipulative bullsh*t.

Men don't lose interest because it's too easy. The issue is that most people aren't long term compatible so if you dive in to quickly you may find yourself in an intimate relationship with someone who isn't a good long term match. Whereas taking it slower allows you to fit for compatibility before diving in. But there's no causation involved. I I was dating my wife exclusively after about two weeks.

The fact that when it became too easy for him, he moved away is proof enough that being a little harder to get works. If you're sure this guy is the ONE (amazing man and will be a legendary father), buy the Rules book and practice them religiously on him. You'll have a ring on your finger in 6 months to a year.

I don't want a challenge I used to assume you were not interested and moved on. Im not talking about putting out on the first date. More like pretending to be too busy to call back or go out on a date. And when on date so lot some interest or I'm not asking you out again

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. For me, and if i were younger and if I just wanted to sleep with you (i.e., short term fling of sorts), then perhaps.

But I'm just too far removed from the post-college scene to be playing games. I'm a single dad, early 40s with a great high income career. I am only interested in women who want a serious relationship. This means a mature woman who knows what she wants and doesn't play childish games.

Yeah but you still want a challenge. Woman too easy = guy looses interest. I bet even for you this is at least partially true.

No, woman too dramatic = guy loses interest. Woman kinda easy = girlfriend.

I'm a woman, so accept that this is not a man's point of view.

Having your own life and being a confident, independent person: highly sexy and desirable.

Playing games to pretend the above: no. And we can all tell. You can't fake it.

If a woman can't be honest about what she wants, I'm not interested. So, no, hard to get is not attractive.

Anonymous wrote:Woman too easy = guy looses interest

Biggest myth in the world

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. For me, and if i were younger and if I just wanted to sleep with you (i.e., short term fling of sorts), then perhaps.

But I'm just too far removed from the post-college scene to be playing games. I'm a single dad, early 40s with a great high income career. I am only interested in women who want a serious relationship. This means a mature woman who knows what she wants and doesn't play childish games.

Yeah but you still want a challenge. Woman too easy = guy looses interest. I bet even for you this is at least partially true.

Was in this exact situation. Move on!