Anonymous
04/29/2021 08:50
Subject: Half assed house chores better than none at all?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Depends on the chore. Half-assed vacuuming is better than none; it does not create more work and looks better than before. Half washed clothes and dishes leads to more work, so no.
This.
+2
Anonymous
04/29/2021 08:20
Subject: Half assed house chores better than none at all?
Anonymous wrote:Half assing it creates more work in the end. Or ruined clothes.
How could that be considered acceptable?
+1 Clearly, he's doing this so that you will just take over. He's an a$$. My DH doesn't always remember to take xyz out to hang dry, but he's figuring it out as he does it more. He now remembers to take my bras and other items like sweaters out to hang dry.
Anonymous
04/29/2021 08:11
Subject: Half assed house chores better than none at all?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I married a check-the-box type. So everything at home is half-assed while everything at work is meticulous. It's a real slap in the face.
Yup, that's totally DH. -OP
It’s selfishness. If you care about the people you live with, you do it right.
I am a SAHM who used to be meticulous at work. Just keeping my 3 kids alive and fed is a lot of work.
DH does complete household tasks at home better. I think it is because he has a set period of time at home so if he doesn’t complete it right then and there, he won’t ever finish.
I could see others starting and never getting to it to complete. I complete my tasks but it may take a week or 2.
Anonymous
04/29/2021 08:08
Subject: Half assed house chores better than none at all?
Anonymous wrote:Depends on the chore. Half-assed vacuuming is better than none; it does not create more work and looks better than before. Half washed clothes and dishes leads to more work, so no.
This. My husband thinks he's cleaning the top of a flat cook top stove by pushing grease around with a dry paper towel. I don't mind following up with a cleaner.
My husband wants the kitchen sparkling clean when we sit down to dinner and I've always been one to clean up after dinner. So he comes in just as I'm setting the table to clean counter tops. Because it's that important to him.
The other ones really create more work. My husband does his own laundry. I do mine. Used to do our son's but he's old enough to do it himself now. This is a little harder on the water bill, but it keeps fights down to a minimum.
I'd try to go through a couple of the big chores that cause fights the most and see if they can be worked around in some way.
Anonymous
04/29/2021 08:08
Subject: Re:Half assed house chores better than none at all?
Different viewpoints.
DH would say I don’t finish the dishes because I don’t overload the dishwasher and may leave a few items in the sink.
DH will shove everything into the dishwasher and doesn’t rinse before loading so there are always items that aren’t clean. He does wipe down sink though.
I am certain DH thinks I never finish the laundry. What actually happens is that we do 2-3 loads at a time and there are always items in the dryer being dried so it may seem like the laundry isn’t finished. Once it is time to get to the final dried items, I do a new load and repeat. I don’t know why we create so much damn laundry. We must do 6-7 loads per week.
This does not make or break our marriage.
DH would say I don’t finish the dishes because I don’t overload the dishwasher and may leave a few items in the sink.
DH will shove everything into the dishwasher and doesn’t rinse before loading so there are always items that aren’t clean. He does wipe down sink though.
I am certain DH thinks I never finish the laundry. What actually happens is that we do 2-3 loads at a time and there are always items in the dryer being dried so it may seem like the laundry isn’t finished. Once it is time to get to the final dried items, I do a new load and repeat. I don’t know why we create so much damn laundry. We must do 6-7 loads per week.
This does not make or break our marriage.
Anonymous
04/29/2021 08:04
Subject: Half assed house chores better than none at all?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I married a check-the-box type. So everything at home is half-assed while everything at work is meticulous. It's a real slap in the face.
Yup, that's totally DH. -OP
It’s selfishness. If you care about the people you live with, you do it right.
To her exacting standards? No, not in the real world.
And if you’d lived together before you married, all this would have come out before the wedding.
Anonymous
04/29/2021 07:16
Subject: Re:Half assed house chores better than none at all?
Anonymous wrote:Sometimes men (and women) purposely do things "wrong" so that they do not want to do them.(Hoping the other person will fix it and then, eventually do it) I suggest you make a list of tasks, then ask him which ones he would like to do (or which ones he detests the least), and have him do them and you do the others. My DH will not cook at all, no grilling, nothing. (If he reheats a pot roast I made, he considers that cooking). He hates paying bills & cleaning. So I do these, but he fixes anything that breaks, takes care of car/maintenance/lawn issues and investigates investment choices), for example.
Also when you both work, something has to give. You may have to pay someone to do some tasks (DH hired and handles the landscaper) or you might have to just forego them (have groceries delivered instead of going to the supermarket).
Great. So he gets to pick his favorite chores and she gets whatever is left? No. He needs to shape up or get out. This is a huge lack of respect. OP said he can do his work perfectly - he just doesn’t care about the chores.
Anonymous
04/29/2021 03:43
Subject: Half assed house chores better than none at all?
I stopped doing many many things for DH and he never complained. If you choose to own 50 pairs of socks I am not going to match them. I launder his clothes and then chuck into a basket labelled "DH's Clean Clothes." We both sleep in the master bedroom but all my clothes and books are neatly kept in a smaller room. His crap is everywhere, and he doesn't care. I leave the chaos behind every morning.
Anonymous
04/29/2021 03:31
Subject: Re:Half assed house chores better than none at all?
Here's my bit on this. I clean the kitchen very well no stains in the sink or counters. No grease or oil food or liquid. Hubby tells grandchildren leave it as you found it or better. Guess what folks he can't even do that. Conversation with him: you hire me to work for you right?
Right
We both know it takes a bit to learn about it right?
Right
So after about a month or so I'm still doing a half ass job
after you have shown and told me how to do it wouldn't the next step be to fire me?
Yes
So don't do your half ass job here where we both live. What you do with your personal stuff is fine it's yours. My personal stuff if you can't fold it my way leave it alone.
Right
We both know it takes a bit to learn about it right?
Right
So after about a month or so I'm still doing a half ass job
after you have shown and told me how to do it wouldn't the next step be to fire me?
Yes
So don't do your half ass job here where we both live. What you do with your personal stuff is fine it's yours. My personal stuff if you can't fold it my way leave it alone.
Anonymous
10/21/2017 14:51
Subject: Half assed house chores better than none at all?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I married a check-the-box type. So everything at home is half-assed while everything at work is meticulous. It's a real slap in the face.
Yup, that's totally DH. -OP
It’s selfishness. If you care about the people you live with, you do it right.
Anonymous
10/21/2017 14:46
Subject: Half assed house chores better than none at all?
Anonymous wrote:I married a check-the-box type. So everything at home is half-assed while everything at work is meticulous. It's a real slap in the face.
Yup, that's totally DH. -OP
Anonymous
10/21/2017 14:34
Subject: Half assed house chores better than none at all?
I married a check-the-box type. So everything at home is half-assed while everything at work is meticulous. It's a real slap in the face.
Anonymous
10/21/2017 14:31
Subject: Half assed house chores better than none at all?
In case your boss never explicitly told you or anyone this: Nothing is worth doing unless you do it right.
Half assign work or chores or kid stuff is fooling no one. Unreliable and disrespectful to everyone, including himself. What a joke.
Half assign work or chores or kid stuff is fooling no one. Unreliable and disrespectful to everyone, including himself. What a joke.
Anonymous
10/21/2017 14:14
Subject: Half assed house chores better than none at all?
This is probably how he did the chores before he moved in with you and thinks the results are acceptable. People that didn’t have parental supervision with household tasks or possess attention to detail will often do it the way they figured it should be done. There are also those who had everything done for them and consider doing such chores either imposition or a waste of time that could be better spent on more meaningful activities. As others have said, you must decide whether you want to do it yourself the right way, hire household help to do it, or get into this with your DH every time he doesn’t really get it done. His attitude is everything here.
Anonymous
10/21/2017 13:52
Subject: Re:Half assed house chores better than none at all?
Anonymous wrote:Doing it half assed often leads to it taking more time than doing it correctly the first time. Try to come up with an analogy that will make sense to him.
Yes but he really doesn't see that it ends up taking more time. He is more after the sense of satisfaction he gets when he "fits" all of the dishes into the dishwasher without any left over. Or when he can technically fit all of the darks in the washer but it means that the load is so big that things don't get fully dry. He's more into the sense of satisfaction he gets when something is totally done, even if it means it's not done well.
-OP