Having a list that is too reach-heavy. If you are applying to 14 colleges no more than 6-7 of them should be reaches in my opinion.

Honestly people, the OP has made zero mistakes you're just a bunch of uptight bitter harridans who want to bring people down.

^Meant to add that you should definitely not apply to schools your kid vetoes before you even apply.

The biggest mistake is not trusting your kid to make the choice if he has multiple options. I fought hard for the school I wanted my DD to attend. She chose another and that is where she is. As tough as she has it, I can’t imagine she would be happier where I wanted her to go. Since your kid is going to do the work, he may as well get some say in where he has to be.

Anonymous wrote:This is really good.

"We look at it this way - You don't pick the school; the school picks you. They looks at thousands of applicants and have years of data to back up their admissions decisions. The decision isn't based on, "who's the best." The decision is based on, "who will be most successful at our university." If a school doesn't accept you, they aren't saying you aren't good enough. They are doing you a favor if they don't select you. Move on to a place that DOES want you."

How is it any different to say you're not good enough vs you won't be successful here?
It's the same.
And when at every open house they talk about how "you just know" when you step foot on the right campus, it's really hard when your kid falls in love with a school that may or may not love them back.
It's really easy for us adults to say that a kid can do well anywhere and have a great experience anywhere, but it's not easy to help a teen manage their expectations.

My advice would be...
Don't visit colleges, don't go to college fairs, don't even think about it until your kid has an SAT or ACT score and at least a complete sophomore GPA and a course plan for the next two years. Don't look at schools that are unreachable .

Anonymous wrote:This is really good.

"We look at it this way - You don't pick the school; the school picks you. They looks at thousands of applicants and have years of data to back up their admissions decisions. The decision isn't based on, "who's the best." The decision is based on, "who will be most successful at our university." If a school doesn't accept you, they aren't saying you aren't good enough. They are doing you a favor if they don't select you. Move on to a place that DOES want you."

I actually am not a fan of this speech. Huge numbers of kids are rejected from good schools not because the school thinks they wouldn't be successful there, but because the kid doesn't meet a need they have for that class. Schools are trying to build a very particular sort of community, and there may be hundreds of kids who would fit in to whatever slot perfectly, but if there are only 5 slots, and you are kid 6-500 with that profile, you are out of luck. Agree that you should not take rejections personally, and should focus on the schools that want you.

Take the SAT Subject Tests at end of junior year so DC has time to retake in fall of senior year (if needed for applications). We did not do that and before you know it you have run out of time to retake if need be...

If needed for placement only, this is not an issue.

Lol, my mantra is if I like 1/3 of the people around me I consider myself in a very congenial environment!

Re: other students from their HS attending the same college. Sometimes the student is too focused on certain kids who they don't like or don't respect, who have also been admitted, and don't want to go where they go. I told my DD, in life, you will probably like 1/3 of people, get along well enough with 1/3, and not care for 1/3. So whether there are 45 students or 3 heading off to the same college, you aren't going to be proud to be associated with all of them.

Don't be too concerned about "heartbreak". Having doors close, and accepting that, is part of being an adult. That said, having a firm favorite shouldn't be encouraged until the process plays out.

There is an excellent video, a form of a TED talk, that says it is important to treat the process essentially like dating, you cannot zero in on one person or one school. Don't fall in love with just one school, pick a group of schools and know that one of them will work out. It is a better video than I am describing but it is a good message. He also demonstrates mathematically that it is actually easier to get into colleges than people think, just not every college that one applies to.

Paying cash for UVA when our DS qualified for Univ. of Alabama's 100% full ride out-of-state scholarship.

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was not picking a safety with rolling admissions - then she'd know by now and could tailor her search higher or lower as needed.

My kid is in to a school he'd enjoy attending, has five aps still outstanding (but turned in already). He is done.

That’s not necessarily a mistake. My DC wouldn’t have been comforted by being accepted at a rolling admission school. It was a help to get in EA at a good school and DC did drop a couple of apps after that. But that wasnt until mid December.

This is really good.

"We look at it this way - You don't pick the school; the school picks you. They looks at thousands of applicants and have years of data to back up their admissions decisions. The decision isn't based on, "who's the best." The decision is based on, "who will be most successful at our university." If a school doesn't accept you, they aren't saying you aren't good enough. They are doing you a favor if they don't select you. Move on to a place that DOES want you."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mistake was not picking a safety with rolling admissions - then she'd know by now and could tailor her search higher or lower as needed...

Mistake? That's a bit much since most schools didn't even open up applications until last month.

It isn't like you didn't know what the essay would be. It really wasn't that hard to get something in by mid-october.

I'm just not into providing advice that isn't actionable. "Your mistake was..." isn't really all that helpful.